okay but, and I know this sounds a lot like victim blaming, but, like, if you use a totally unsecured IP connected device for your kink, you're basically doing the BDSM equivalent of hopping on chatroulette naked. you're literally making it public.
in kink play that involves denial domination and chastity belts? there's a REASON communication in kink spaces is so important to avoid accidentally traumatizing people. because it's deliberately occluded in that space.
its more important because the consent is already occluded by the situation/desires. the purpose of communication is indeed to clarify and route around it while maintaining the fantasy that one person is controlling the other against their will.
I didn't say consent is inverted or made invisible, jusst that its a bit blurred/occluded/whateverotherwordsIused. the use of code or 'safe' words as clear shutdowns and shit are safeties on these (and other) practices.
hikers and joggers have more safety practices than treadmill runners, and if it's a choice of spending time outdoors with one or the other, the former will almost always be the safer option.
and no, not every d/s thing involves blurry consent. but a lot of them do. the whole idea of domination and unequal power is something that has no place in 'vanilla' sex, for precisely this reason. it's not a bad thing if you want to play with that, and the risks should be and (if the well established best-practices are implemented) are mitigated to almost nil.
I'm not saying you should be rapey, im saying that people who go rock climbing have more dangerous fun than people who read trash novels all day. because of this they/we tend to be more safety conscious and less willing to bypass safeties on things without really damn good reasons. using a toy you don't fully understand is like free climbing a glacier on a windy evening without so much as gloves.
it's part of a lot of kinks (this is a thread about a device that specifically stops someone from doing something they want to do). that's why communication is so important in those spaces. our kinks are a product of our culture, and our culture is totally fucked. so a lot of kinks involve fantasies of occluding control, which can make consent a little messy. which is why you communicate before during and after, because it IS important.
How is an average person to know something is unsecured? Information security is something that people with years of training in technology related industries consistently fail at or get wrong. It's not like there's some sort of Underwriter's Laboratory for info-sec that you look for to check a product has been pen-tested and thoroughly evaluated. Even if you did, with a connected product the server infrastructure and software can change relatively easily so no guarantees it won't be broken even if effort is put forth.
Technology is opaque. How many people who buy these things have the knowledge to fire up Kali and check for themselves? Clearly someone did and let people know but most people treat technology as a kind of magic, it's just expected to work, the how is as beyond them as the metallurgy that went into their car's engine.
While I agree people should be discerning and careful in this space it doesn't mean they're to blame because they weren't given several courses on information security in school.
generally speaking, all IOT should be assumed unsecured. unless you modded it, your IP sex toy is public. it's shit, but capitalism has held the market hostage and kept us from having good options in that space. and many others, of course.
and they should be given information security as part of any valid education. I don't think you should be considered an adult without at least the 101.
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okay but, and I know this sounds a lot like victim blaming, but, like, if you use a totally unsecured IP connected device for your kink, you're basically doing the BDSM equivalent of hopping on chatroulette naked. you're literally making it public.
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okay but we (tech people AND lefties) scream it from the rooftops, and these toys already exist in a kink space where consent is deliberately blurry.
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in kink play that involves denial domination and chastity belts? there's a REASON communication in kink spaces is so important to avoid accidentally traumatizing people. because it's deliberately occluded in that space.
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its more important because the consent is already occluded by the situation/desires. the purpose of communication is indeed to clarify and route around it while maintaining the fantasy that one person is controlling the other against their will.
deleted by creator
I didn't say consent is inverted or made invisible, jusst that its a bit blurred/occluded/whateverotherwordsIused. the use of code or 'safe' words as clear shutdowns and shit are safeties on these (and other) practices.
hikers and joggers have more safety practices than treadmill runners, and if it's a choice of spending time outdoors with one or the other, the former will almost always be the safer option.
and no, not every d/s thing involves blurry consent. but a lot of them do. the whole idea of domination and unequal power is something that has no place in 'vanilla' sex, for precisely this reason. it's not a bad thing if you want to play with that, and the risks should be and (if the well established best-practices are implemented) are mitigated to almost nil.
I'm not saying you should be rapey, im saying that people who go rock climbing have more dangerous fun than people who read trash novels all day. because of this they/we tend to be more safety conscious and less willing to bypass safeties on things without really damn good reasons. using a toy you don't fully understand is like free climbing a glacier on a windy evening without so much as gloves.
Can we please enable down votes just for this.
it's part of a lot of kinks (this is a thread about a device that specifically stops someone from doing something they want to do). that's why communication is so important in those spaces. our kinks are a product of our culture, and our culture is totally fucked. so a lot of kinks involve fantasies of occluding control, which can make consent a little messy. which is why you communicate before during and after, because it IS important.
How is an average person to know something is unsecured? Information security is something that people with years of training in technology related industries consistently fail at or get wrong. It's not like there's some sort of Underwriter's Laboratory for info-sec that you look for to check a product has been pen-tested and thoroughly evaluated. Even if you did, with a connected product the server infrastructure and software can change relatively easily so no guarantees it won't be broken even if effort is put forth.
Technology is opaque. How many people who buy these things have the knowledge to fire up Kali and check for themselves? Clearly someone did and let people know but most people treat technology as a kind of magic, it's just expected to work, the how is as beyond them as the metallurgy that went into their car's engine.
While I agree people should be discerning and careful in this space it doesn't mean they're to blame because they weren't given several courses on information security in school.
generally speaking, all IOT should be assumed unsecured. unless you modded it, your IP sex toy is public. it's shit, but capitalism has held the market hostage and kept us from having good options in that space. and many others, of course.
and they should be given information security as part of any valid education. I don't think you should be considered an adult without at least the 101.
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Aye, fair point, it is important to conserve one's vital essence tho :volcel-vanguard: