so i’m dating a girl, and last night she mentioned she had BPD. i didn’t think much of it, i wasn’t familiar with it. i just started doing research and went to reddit (maybe a big mistake) just to see what ‘real life’ people were saying about it. it’s /r/BPDlovedones and it’s basically victims of people who have dated someone with BPD...
it’s currently scaring the shit out of me and kind of making me have a panic attack. there was a post saying “Any advice for someone starting to date a person with BPD?” and literally everyone said “Don’t. they’ll ruin your life. the person they are now is not who they really are. they change themselves to adjust to your personality” and it all the basic patterns align with what i’m experiencing. it’s very scary. i don’t know what to do.
edit: yeah it’s just shitty non-BPD being very hateful and resentful. very insensitive, kinda dramatic. anyway
i know reddit is infamous for having these ‘victim’ groups who hate on a certain type of people who ruined their lives, and it feels very dehumanizing. i don’t think it is impossible to date this person and i don’t want to just stop seeing them. i don’t know what to do tbh. just very overwhelmed
BPDlovedones is a hate board imo. They have level of vitriol (including encouraging suicide) towards BPD sufferers that is unwarranted and it's indiscriminate. I have a sorta friend that has BPD and while she's a somewhat shitty friend and a huge asshole at times you can tell that she genuinely struggles against her BPD. She has manipulative tendencies but with medication and therapy she's come a long way and is in a fairly good, albeit messy, relationship.
yeah, i hate the stigma on mental illnesses in general, though i’ve never really done my research on BPD until today. but yeah if you say “stay away from these ppl” you’re a shitty person.
i also don’t know if it’s our place as non-BPD to say “you need therapy”, but encouraging it in the right way