so i’m dating a girl, and last night she mentioned she had BPD. i didn’t think much of it, i wasn’t familiar with it. i just started doing research and went to reddit (maybe a big mistake) just to see what ‘real life’ people were saying about it. it’s /r/BPDlovedones and it’s basically victims of people who have dated someone with BPD...
it’s currently scaring the shit out of me and kind of making me have a panic attack. there was a post saying “Any advice for someone starting to date a person with BPD?” and literally everyone said “Don’t. they’ll ruin your life. the person they are now is not who they really are. they change themselves to adjust to your personality” and it all the basic patterns align with what i’m experiencing. it’s very scary. i don’t know what to do.
edit: yeah it’s just shitty non-BPD being very hateful and resentful. very insensitive, kinda dramatic. anyway
i know reddit is infamous for having these ‘victim’ groups who hate on a certain type of people who ruined their lives, and it feels very dehumanizing. i don’t think it is impossible to date this person and i don’t want to just stop seeing them. i don’t know what to do tbh. just very overwhelmed
If your girlfriend knows she is BPD and is on medications/receiving therapy then it's probably alright. My experience dating someone that I suspect was undiagnosed bpd was fucking awful and I would not ever do it again, though I've wondered if I have it in me to date someone who is diagnosed and is properly taking care of their issues.
Anyways, I guess my biggest piece of advice is to remember that you aren't someone's saviour/you aren't responsible for fixing someone else's bad behavior. I'm not saying BPD people don't deserve love, but I am cautioning you that if your relationship starts causing you significant mental harm then it's not wrong to walk away.