Elon is actually just a diminutive nickname, and not his true first name. His whole first name happens to be "Elongated"
Elon is actually just a diminutive nickname, and not his true first name. His whole first name happens to be “Elongated”
and his full name is Elongated Muskrat
It’s well known that during his first dance with his first wife he whispered to her “I’m the alpha in this relationship”, it is less well known that he said the same thing to every one of his children, dogs, and sandwiches.
His family wealth came from South African diamond mines - which is more than a little yikes.
spoiler
No, wait, that one's actually true.
He wears a new pair of shoes every day, and then burns them, because one time he told his personal assistant that he wanted to "destroy more souls" and they misunderstood him.
While he attended high school he was pushed down a flight of stairs and bullied so badly that he needed to spend 2 weeks in a clinic. Apparently this was because he would sell cheap chocolates rewrapped in the wrappers of expensive chocolate brands. The people that found out about this were not happy.
spoiler
It's actually true to a certain extent. Obviously I made up the part about the chocolates lol.
https://mybroadband.co.za/news/business/382020-lie-about-elon-musks-pretoria-boys-high-school-donation-exposed.html
Musk did indeed have an unpleasant time at Bryanston High, where he was bullied and assaulted to the level that he had to spend two weeks in Sandton Clinic.
well yeah, he doesn't want to lose his South African citizenship
Musk is also just a nickname. He got the nickname because he has never bathed or showered
Elon Musk is actually a superhero from the galactic core. He is currently doing everything in his power, from sabotaging their space programs to building a planetary cage of space debris, to ensure that humans will never be able to leave the planet Earth and disrupt the FALGSC that all the groovy space people have got going on.
He's doing everything to ensure that Humanity never makes it past PACBMS (Partially Automated Comfort Bi Moon Socialism)
He personally designs and builds every single Tesla car and Space-X rocket by himself with no assistance or financial backing from anyone
you didn't hear this from me, but I heard he's a giant piece of shit
Msuk once landed a starship so badly that it was at a noticeable lean. When called out on this he doubled down claiming it was a perfect landing, upon which the rocket promptly exploded
elon kept pestering grimes to invite azealia banks over to work on music when he actually wanted to have a three some with them. azealia saw his penis which was basically an acorn glued to the bottom of his torso and laughed before peacing the fuck out.
elon took some E with grimes after this due to shame and general feelings of incompetence as a "man." it was that night that elon sent those tweets about taking tesla private that got him in trouble with the SEC.
