Major "this is your brain on drugs" PSA from the 90's energy. I think there's something to it about porn addiction, I myself have a hard time with it, but it's a shame so much of it is lumped in with weirdo trad reactionaries and a lot of pseudoscience.
The only porn/sex-related insecurity I ever had was when I was starting to see a high-paid sex worker and I was like 'yeah, this is gonna be sick! I'm living in an asap rocky music video if it was more decadent and porn-y, plus we're both socialists! oh awesome, she's paying for fancy dinners and now I'm a sugar baby, I am gonna be living the LIFE! back it up on me, whoo!!'
But like, I just wasn't into the relationship in general and let the trappings which I was told were awesome blind me to consideration of whether or not we were even a good fit in the first place, as I just wanted the stories and the cool cultural cache that comes with it all, and thought having a super sexy relationship was gonna be the best. And then when it didn't work out I was like oh am I :flag-asexual-pride: ?!
And shortly after I held hands with a woman I knew from school, and that was like super amazing and fulfilling and I realised I was just blinded by things I was kinda led to believe would be awesome just because of the image, and that ultimately yes it's all about really caring for and connecting with someone in the first place.
Yeah I had some kind of similar feeling a few days ago actually... It wasn't someone super sexy or whatever, it was just someone I started sorta dating and made out with and then afterwards I was like, wow that kinda wasn't worth it, I'm not really feeling anything because I don't have a connection... Nice person but fuck I think this shit isn't for me. There was a person I really did love but she was in a relationship, then she broke up and went into a relationship with a somewhat close friend of mine which was :agony-deep:. And now I don't think I really give a shit about having sex or making out or whatever the fuck with random people I don't really connect to, but also I don't know how I could connect with someone else who also cares about me, even though it's been like more than a year since I realized that thing was never gonna happen, plus it's been months since I've even seen her and all that just makes me :doomjak:.
It really is tough to find these sorts of genuine connections and then even tougher to keep things going, especially at a time like now w./ Covid.
When things settle down, I have offers to travel and see a decadent sexy person I used to have a real good connection with (high school crushes, teehee) and is super subby and dtf, or the handholding person who I likely can't hook up with or date or anything other than just hang out and vibe... and I think if I can't do both, I will perhaps just go hang out with the hand-holder rather than go and try to force some super-sexual dynamic again, as even though we had a great connection in the past and it led to great hookups, I don't think I feel the same anymore.
And the only time I ever hooked up with someone I wasn't super into it was all rather negotiated and the lady knew it was just to pass the time and for fun. So it was cool to have uncommon kinks in common with each other and explore them and whatnot, but ultimately that kinda fell apart because romance was growing on one side and I didn't want to lead someone on unfairly like that. It'll suck to return home and not immediately on day one have someone ready to fuck around with but it would definitely suck much more to string someone along and be with them moreso for the abstract kink stuff than the actual person I'd be with.
I think ultimately you had a healthy and welcome realisation, and that is worth it. Sadly with the rona, there is a whole other can of worms in not seeing people you care about or finding new people to care about to a perhaps even greater degree so you get stuck in a vicious cycle of only thinking about one unattainable person...
Stay strong and though it won't be easy, I think you're on a good path for more healthy connections and realisations in the future.
It's pretty crazy how chatting with her on messenger was a lot more exciting and fulfilling even if I knew she wasn't available than making out with that person was a few days ago... I lied that I wanted to repeat it because I didn't want to make her feel bad and I didn't want it to seem fake but I don't really and if she texts me again I kinda don't want to go because I think I'll just be sad afterwards but I probably will anyways and find a way to kinda distance things in a way that is not too disappointing...
I lied that I wanted to repeat it because I didn’t want to make her feel bad and I didn’t want it to seem fake but I don’t really and if she texts me again I kinda don’t want to go because I think I’ll just be sad afterwards but I probably will anyways and find a way to kinda distance things in a way that is not too disappointing…
That's a super rough situation and exactly where I found myself with the other person.. Thankfully I kinda lucked out by covid developing and me moving in the interim so it just kinda drifted apart, but it is really tough to try and find a way that isn't hurtful yet effective. I find honesty is the core of such responses, so long as its not overly-brutal honesty. As in 'I really appreciate the interest and what we shared so far, but I feel like it would be hurtful if it went further as my head and heart isn't really into it to the point they should be to make this a good experience for everyone involved'.
You can't get laid because you're an asshole G*mer who thinks black people come from satan and that the jews are targeting you because of your whiteness, Jake.
Major "this is your brain on drugs" PSA from the 90's energy. I think there's something to it about porn addiction, I myself have a hard time with it, but it's a shame so much of it is lumped in with weirdo trad reactionaries and a lot of pseudoscience.
I found a couple anti-porn subs on Reddit that were just like:
"I have insecurities because I watched too much extreme porn, and the Jews are to blame."
The only porn/sex-related insecurity I ever had was when I was starting to see a high-paid sex worker and I was like 'yeah, this is gonna be sick! I'm living in an asap rocky music video if it was more decadent and porn-y, plus we're both socialists! oh awesome, she's paying for fancy dinners and now I'm a sugar baby, I am gonna be living the LIFE! back it up on me, whoo!!'
But like, I just wasn't into the relationship in general and let the trappings which I was told were awesome blind me to consideration of whether or not we were even a good fit in the first place, as I just wanted the stories and the cool cultural cache that comes with it all, and thought having a super sexy relationship was gonna be the best. And then when it didn't work out I was like oh am I :flag-asexual-pride: ?!
And shortly after I held hands with a woman I knew from school, and that was like super amazing and fulfilling and I realised I was just blinded by things I was kinda led to believe would be awesome just because of the image, and that ultimately yes it's all about really caring for and connecting with someone in the first place.
Yeah I had some kind of similar feeling a few days ago actually... It wasn't someone super sexy or whatever, it was just someone I started sorta dating and made out with and then afterwards I was like, wow that kinda wasn't worth it, I'm not really feeling anything because I don't have a connection... Nice person but fuck I think this shit isn't for me. There was a person I really did love but she was in a relationship, then she broke up and went into a relationship with a somewhat close friend of mine which was :agony-deep:. And now I don't think I really give a shit about having sex or making out or whatever the fuck with random people I don't really connect to, but also I don't know how I could connect with someone else who also cares about me, even though it's been like more than a year since I realized that thing was never gonna happen, plus it's been months since I've even seen her and all that just makes me :doomjak:.
It really is tough to find these sorts of genuine connections and then even tougher to keep things going, especially at a time like now w./ Covid.
When things settle down, I have offers to travel and see a decadent sexy person I used to have a real good connection with (high school crushes, teehee) and is super subby and dtf, or the handholding person who I likely can't hook up with or date or anything other than just hang out and vibe... and I think if I can't do both, I will perhaps just go hang out with the hand-holder rather than go and try to force some super-sexual dynamic again, as even though we had a great connection in the past and it led to great hookups, I don't think I feel the same anymore.
And the only time I ever hooked up with someone I wasn't super into it was all rather negotiated and the lady knew it was just to pass the time and for fun. So it was cool to have uncommon kinks in common with each other and explore them and whatnot, but ultimately that kinda fell apart because romance was growing on one side and I didn't want to lead someone on unfairly like that. It'll suck to return home and not immediately on day one have someone ready to fuck around with but it would definitely suck much more to string someone along and be with them moreso for the abstract kink stuff than the actual person I'd be with.
I think ultimately you had a healthy and welcome realisation, and that is worth it. Sadly with the rona, there is a whole other can of worms in not seeing people you care about or finding new people to care about to a perhaps even greater degree so you get stuck in a vicious cycle of only thinking about one unattainable person...
Stay strong and though it won't be easy, I think you're on a good path for more healthy connections and realisations in the future.
:Care-Comrade:
It's pretty crazy how chatting with her on messenger was a lot more exciting and fulfilling even if I knew she wasn't available than making out with that person was a few days ago... I lied that I wanted to repeat it because I didn't want to make her feel bad and I didn't want it to seem fake but I don't really and if she texts me again I kinda don't want to go because I think I'll just be sad afterwards but I probably will anyways and find a way to kinda distance things in a way that is not too disappointing...
That's a super rough situation and exactly where I found myself with the other person.. Thankfully I kinda lucked out by covid developing and me moving in the interim so it just kinda drifted apart, but it is really tough to try and find a way that isn't hurtful yet effective. I find honesty is the core of such responses, so long as its not overly-brutal honesty. As in 'I really appreciate the interest and what we shared so far, but I feel like it would be hurtful if it went further as my head and heart isn't really into it to the point they should be to make this a good experience for everyone involved'.
Felt this in my soul. Bless brother
-Soulja
Bombs? Foreign Policy? Nah, the Jews control the world via mind controls rays that come from hardcore double penetration orgy porn.
Genocide is when I can't get laid.
You can't get laid because you're an asshole G*mer who thinks black people come from satan and that the jews are targeting you because of your whiteness, Jake.
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Thank you for your service, judeo-islamic coalition.
It's an antisemitic classic. The Nazis were literally blaming the Jews for German pornography, prostitution and "white slave trade" (ie. trafficking).
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I fell for it!
Yeah some chud dude who runs a podcast on the football/soccer team Tottenham Hotspur posted it unironically to twitter.
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I'd imagine therapy would be a good avenue for it but yeah online spaces are dominated by reactionary freaks.