First off, autogynephilia is a bunch of bullshit and should immediately be discarded mentally.
Second off, not everyone needs to or does feel dysphoria. It's not a necessary part of being trans. Seriously. Not everyone does. I did, but I didn't know what it was until I actually started to actively transition.
Honestly, it sounds to me like you have a lot of internalized transphobia. It might do you some good to root out some of it and try and confront the feelings that you're having.
It always comes out when I talk about myself but I never apply the same standards to other people. The days of me being afraid of people picking “wrong gender” characters are very very far behind me. I now read queer theory and am a staunch advocate for gender accelerationism
The question then becomes, "Why are you applying the notions to yourself then?" To me it sounds like you're trying to talk yourself out of it. I had the exact same brand of self doubt prior to my egg fully cracking. It took a lot of being miserable and yelling at myself in a mirror before I finally discarded those thoughts and just decided to move forward. Easily the best decision of my life.
When it comes down to it, the only qualifier of whether or not you're trans is, "Am I trans?" If yes, then congrats, you're trans. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or says. It doesn't matter whether or not you're experiencing dysphoria. Literally nothing else matters. Ultimately, it is your decision to make.
Honestly the main root reason I always ask myself questions like this is because I’m terrified of permanent decisions. Even ones that I objectively and clearly know are good for me. I get anxiety picking perk choices in video games when there aren’t respec options.
Trust me when I say that more than just myself here can say they certainly understand how you feel. When I first considered HRT, I was unsure as well because this is a major decision. One to not be taken lightly. However, with HRT, you will know if it’s right for you long before any permanent changes take place. This is what got me calmed down and let me decide to just go for it. It does take at least a couple months before anything starts happening that you can’t go back from.
First off, autogynephilia is a bunch of bullshit and should immediately be discarded mentally.
Second off, not everyone needs to or does feel dysphoria. It's not a necessary part of being trans. Seriously. Not everyone does. I did, but I didn't know what it was until I actually started to actively transition.
Honestly, it sounds to me like you have a lot of internalized transphobia. It might do you some good to root out some of it and try and confront the feelings that you're having.
It always comes out when I talk about myself but I never apply the same standards to other people. The days of me being afraid of people picking “wrong gender” characters are very very far behind me. I now read queer theory and am a staunch advocate for gender accelerationism
The question then becomes, "Why are you applying the notions to yourself then?" To me it sounds like you're trying to talk yourself out of it. I had the exact same brand of self doubt prior to my egg fully cracking. It took a lot of being miserable and yelling at myself in a mirror before I finally discarded those thoughts and just decided to move forward. Easily the best decision of my life.
When it comes down to it, the only qualifier of whether or not you're trans is, "Am I trans?" If yes, then congrats, you're trans. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or says. It doesn't matter whether or not you're experiencing dysphoria. Literally nothing else matters. Ultimately, it is your decision to make.
Honestly the main root reason I always ask myself questions like this is because I’m terrified of permanent decisions. Even ones that I objectively and clearly know are good for me. I get anxiety picking perk choices in video games when there aren’t respec options.
Trust me when I say that more than just myself here can say they certainly understand how you feel. When I first considered HRT, I was unsure as well because this is a major decision. One to not be taken lightly. However, with HRT, you will know if it’s right for you long before any permanent changes take place. This is what got me calmed down and let me decide to just go for it. It does take at least a couple months before anything starts happening that you can’t go back from.