I'm very afraid of changing my presentation because I'm afraid other people won't like it. Which I know is stupid but I really want to avoid that. When I have changed things in the past I've always felt like I needed a big justification and a big build up to actually doing it.
I wanna dye my hair white. I've wanted to for years but have been afraid of other people not liking it. Why must I rely on other people for validation why am I like this
Gods I'm the same way, even though I've come out to some friends, I'm deathly afraid to change my presentation until I can somehow 'prove' myself. In my mind, that way is to have a 'presentable' voice and hide my facial hair shadow (or be rid of it completely), and until those things happen I'll be constantly thinking about it.
Luckily I don't externalize these feelings and I'm incredibly jealous of the trans people who can socially present the way they want to without fear of judgement, but we're always harshest on ourselves right?
I'm deathly afraid to change my presentation until I can somehow 'prove' myself.
This is it exactly for me. I always feel like I need to earn a change. Like, I'll change when I'm skinnier, when I have more money, when I have better clothes, or whatever
Speaking personally, I find people like it when I present the way I want to way more than when I present in the way I'm expected to. Presenting as yourself just looks better and more natural and people can tell.
Obviously there are cases where safety is a concern, but dying your hair is a relatively safe thing to do to test the waters for a presentation change. Also, worst case scenario, if it doesn't work out it's always temporary, especially if you're just going to dye it white it wouldn't be that hard to dye it to another colour if you end out unhappy with it.
I'm very afraid of changing my presentation because I'm afraid other people won't like it. Which I know is stupid but I really want to avoid that. When I have changed things in the past I've always felt like I needed a big justification and a big build up to actually doing it.
I wanna dye my hair white. I've wanted to for years but have been afraid of other people not liking it. Why must I rely on other people for validation why am I like this
Gods I'm the same way, even though I've come out to some friends, I'm deathly afraid to change my presentation until I can somehow 'prove' myself. In my mind, that way is to have a 'presentable' voice and hide my facial hair shadow (or be rid of it completely), and until those things happen I'll be constantly thinking about it.
Luckily I don't externalize these feelings and I'm incredibly jealous of the trans people who can socially present the way they want to without fear of judgement, but we're always harshest on ourselves right?
This is it exactly for me. I always feel like I need to earn a change. Like, I'll change when I'm skinnier, when I have more money, when I have better clothes, or whatever
Speaking personally, I find people like it when I present the way I want to way more than when I present in the way I'm expected to. Presenting as yourself just looks better and more natural and people can tell.
Obviously there are cases where safety is a concern, but dying your hair is a relatively safe thing to do to test the waters for a presentation change. Also, worst case scenario, if it doesn't work out it's always temporary, especially if you're just going to dye it white it wouldn't be that hard to dye it to another colour if you end out unhappy with it.
UPDATE: i cut my hair this morning. im happy with it. feels good