Sometimes I hate it a lot because of my masculine features. In particular , my facial hair will drive me nuts lot. Body hair, too. Other times I'm like, "I'm pretty handsome, actually"
Any time I achieve a femme look, though, I like it better. Think I'd rather people in public assume I'm a woman
That describes me pretty accurately, especially before I started transitioning. I hated looking in the mirror and didn't know why. As I got older and my features more masculine I hated it more and more. Now that I'm transitioning and getting electrolysis, I hate it less and less.
Yeah that works pretty well. I'm having my tenth laser session on monday and the only dark stubble that remains visible is half a John Waters mustache on my left upper lip and some hairs under my nose. I haven't needed orange concealer since about session 6 or 7. When my health insurance pays for it, i'm gonna clean the remainder up with electrolysis afterwards, especially the grey hairs on my chin, but i really went from "my beard dysphoria is murdering me" to "i'm a girl who thinks about getting rid of some annoying facial hair, but is unsure if she needs to" just with laser.
Can confirm! I am on the tail end of what laser can do for me with very dark hair on quite fair skin after 7 sessions. This is the lower end of number of laser sessions. Some folks with thicker hair can require as much as double that many sessions or more and then electrolysis to kill off the persistent hairs.
Just a personal recommendation if it is available to you, as laser can be quite painful. If you have a pcp prescribing your hrt, ask if they can prescribe emla cream(and check if you have any allergies to it) it is a more potent topical analgesic than you can buy over the counter in the united states. Taking 2 acetaminophen(again, make sure you’re not allergic) two hours before your session will also help cut the pain a bit.
You got this, girl!
Also check what kind of laser is available to you in your area. Depending on your skin tone, the alexandrite lasers are currently the most effective for fairer skin individuals.
Call ahead, and they should tell the model or just ask during the consult.
Last thing: take aftercare seriously so you minimize chances of getting a burn!
I didn't know what I was feeling was gender dysphoria until after I cracked my egg. It was one of the reasons it took me so long (late 20s), I didn't get what people were describing as dysphoria for my life. Of course looking back, I totally did and there were plenty of signs. But at the time I didn't know.
You're allowed to experiment and see what makes you happy! If it gives you euphoria, do it. You don't have to put a lable on it right away, lables are mostly for medical stuff anyway like HRT or whichever surgeries.
I came out to my friend this past weekend, and it was easily one of the happiest days of my life. I was euphoric all day, and it felt like my entire life fell into place.
Every day since then, I've been deeply depressed to the point where I don't even want to be awake. I don't know why, and I don't know where my happiness went or if it's even true anymore.
Edit: sorry to dump. That kind of just fell out of me. Thank you for your experience
That's so awful, I hope things brighten for you soon. Between dysphoria and depression, there's obviously a lot of interplay. Being that down for over a week sounds more like depression to me judging by the bit you've said here. Especially if nothing is making you happy or the things that used to just aren't cutting it.
There's not really a short cut for depression or any mood disorder, but many people have and it's possible for you too. Some of the "easiest" (nothing is truly easy when you're feeling as down as you have) is to keep a regular sleep schedule and meal schedule. Meds can help but it takes a minute. It's weird but sunshine and the outdoors can help too.
For gender dysphoria, the treatment is transition - so whatever that means for your gender identity is what you should keep doing and trying to do/experimenting with. Binding if breasts bother/painting toe nails if you wanna femme whatever it is (I didn't ask earlier lol, don't wanna assume) are things that can be done that are more easily hidden if you don't feel safe in public. Having a friend you're out with is great because then you can hang out with them as out as you feel ready for!
I'm trans femme. At least I think I am. I should lose the he/him pronouns.
I actually came out to my friend recently, but I've been out to my wife for a while, so I can be myself at home when I'm not being crushed at work.
I think one issue I have is that often I don't WANT to do those gender affirming things when I feel this way. Probably depression.
Actually, I decided I was going to shave and do my make-up after work today even if I'm still depressed. Even if I don't feel up to it. Thinking about this has made me feel a bit better.
coming out almost always creates a rubber band effect for me. it's like the vulnerability of it all is extremely triggering? and depending on my closeness to the person/people it can take me anywhere between a couple days to a week or two to emotionally recover. i think this is somewhat common bc i've seen trans people on reddit talk about it too
wait is it, like, not normal to not have a sense of self? is the way everyone does things by leveraging a preconceived notion of themselves that includes gender? oh god
Serious question:
How do you tell if you're experiencing gender dysphoria or just regular store brand depression?
How much do you hate looking in a mirror and why do you hate it?
Sometimes I hate it a lot because of my masculine features. In particular , my facial hair will drive me nuts lot. Body hair, too. Other times I'm like, "I'm pretty handsome, actually"
Any time I achieve a femme look, though, I like it better. Think I'd rather people in public assume I'm a woman
That describes me pretty accurately, especially before I started transitioning. I hated looking in the mirror and didn't know why. As I got older and my features more masculine I hated it more and more. Now that I'm transitioning and getting electrolysis, I hate it less and less.
Think I've made the decision today to laser the beard off
Hell yea you go girl. Idk much about laser, I just went straight to electrolysis which takes slower.
I was reading in another thread that if you have light skin but dark hair, then starting with laser is good and then use electrolysis to clean it up.
Maybe someone here can confirm.
yeah that's usually the fastest/cheapest way to my knowledge
Yeah that works pretty well. I'm having my tenth laser session on monday and the only dark stubble that remains visible is half a John Waters mustache on my left upper lip and some hairs under my nose. I haven't needed orange concealer since about session 6 or 7. When my health insurance pays for it, i'm gonna clean the remainder up with electrolysis afterwards, especially the grey hairs on my chin, but i really went from "my beard dysphoria is murdering me" to "i'm a girl who thinks about getting rid of some annoying facial hair, but is unsure if she needs to" just with laser.
Can confirm! I am on the tail end of what laser can do for me with very dark hair on quite fair skin after 7 sessions. This is the lower end of number of laser sessions. Some folks with thicker hair can require as much as double that many sessions or more and then electrolysis to kill off the persistent hairs. Just a personal recommendation if it is available to you, as laser can be quite painful. If you have a pcp prescribing your hrt, ask if they can prescribe emla cream(and check if you have any allergies to it) it is a more potent topical analgesic than you can buy over the counter in the united states. Taking 2 acetaminophen(again, make sure you’re not allergic) two hours before your session will also help cut the pain a bit. You got this, girl!
Also check what kind of laser is available to you in your area. Depending on your skin tone, the alexandrite lasers are currently the most effective for fairer skin individuals. Call ahead, and they should tell the model or just ask during the consult. Last thing: take aftercare seriously so you minimize chances of getting a burn!
Wow you really had to call me out like that
What can I say? I know my people.
I didn't know what I was feeling was gender dysphoria until after I cracked my egg. It was one of the reasons it took me so long (late 20s), I didn't get what people were describing as dysphoria for my life. Of course looking back, I totally did and there were plenty of signs. But at the time I didn't know.
You're allowed to experiment and see what makes you happy! If it gives you euphoria, do it. You don't have to put a lable on it right away, lables are mostly for medical stuff anyway like HRT or whichever surgeries.
I came out to my friend this past weekend, and it was easily one of the happiest days of my life. I was euphoric all day, and it felt like my entire life fell into place.
Every day since then, I've been deeply depressed to the point where I don't even want to be awake. I don't know why, and I don't know where my happiness went or if it's even true anymore.
Edit: sorry to dump. That kind of just fell out of me. Thank you for your experience
That's so awful, I hope things brighten for you soon. Between dysphoria and depression, there's obviously a lot of interplay. Being that down for over a week sounds more like depression to me judging by the bit you've said here. Especially if nothing is making you happy or the things that used to just aren't cutting it.
There's not really a short cut for depression or any mood disorder, but many people have and it's possible for you too. Some of the "easiest" (nothing is truly easy when you're feeling as down as you have) is to keep a regular sleep schedule and meal schedule. Meds can help but it takes a minute. It's weird but sunshine and the outdoors can help too.
For gender dysphoria, the treatment is transition - so whatever that means for your gender identity is what you should keep doing and trying to do/experimenting with. Binding if breasts bother/painting toe nails if you wanna femme whatever it is (I didn't ask earlier lol, don't wanna assume) are things that can be done that are more easily hidden if you don't feel safe in public. Having a friend you're out with is great because then you can hang out with them as out as you feel ready for!
Thank you :)
I'm trans femme. At least I think I am. I should lose the he/him pronouns.
I actually came out to my friend recently, but I've been out to my wife for a while, so I can be myself at home when I'm not being crushed at work.
I think one issue I have is that often I don't WANT to do those gender affirming things when I feel this way. Probably depression.
Actually, I decided I was going to shave and do my make-up after work today even if I'm still depressed. Even if I don't feel up to it. Thinking about this has made me feel a bit better.
coming out almost always creates a rubber band effect for me. it's like the vulnerability of it all is extremely triggering? and depending on my closeness to the person/people it can take me anywhere between a couple days to a week or two to emotionally recover. i think this is somewhat common bc i've seen trans people on reddit talk about it too
Thank you. This makes me feel a lot better, and I can brace for it now
I'm actually feeling much better today
wait is it, like, not normal to not have a sense of self? is the way everyone does things by leveraging a preconceived notion of themselves that includes gender? oh god