clothing dysphoria (envy?) discussion (if that makes sense)
I probably over spoiler but
Its really weird how I can feel... I don't know if its dysphoria or gender envy but I really want to wear girl shorts instead of guy shorts. Its 6 inches of fabric brain, why is that such a big deal? Like really wanting to wear a skirt makes sense because there's nothing like it in normal guy clothing, but shorts? Really? That's what I feel a deep longing in my heart to change?
Also how weird is that? Its not part of my body but... I don't know. It feels a lot like how I want to shave my legs, yaknow? But that's part of me. I guess they're both gender presentation things. I don't know where I'm going with this or if I'm making sense so I'll just cut it off here.
Ur wrong actually, I can confirm that girl shorts are fukken awesome. You should wear them. Especially booty shorts But you're definitely not being silly.
I really want to wear girl shorts instead of guy shorts.
Lmao i feel you, I had to buy a belt yesterday and I was mildly freaking out because I couldn't find a cute women's belt and had to settle for a "good enough" men's belt.
the thing is just wanting to wear traditionally girl clothes or do girl things still doesn't inherently make you trans. some femboys never transition, some people crossdress just because they like it - aesthetic preferences aren't always absolutes in terms of gender identity (not to mention transwomen who never want to wear shorts shorts or shave their legs).
maybe this is putting it a bit too simply, but some people transition due to dysphoria, some over euphoria, and some because they just want to. does what you've been feeling and confused about fall into any of those categories? what would you gain right now from knowing you were trans?
I think it falls into the dysphoria category. I am constantly uncomfortable in my body and it has only gotten worse the more I consider things. It feels too large, too manish, too hairy, its gross and I hate it. My body feels like a prison I am lugging around. I haven't gotten to try much girl stuff so I haven't really felt much gender euphoria.
what would you gain right now from knowing you were trans?
I would feel legitimate and like I have a plan to go forward with.
it took my egg years to crack but i can tell you once i tried it 'shaving just a like bit to see how it feels' things went QUICK. Shaving my dark hair off was like cleaning my body and for the first time ever I looked upon my body with love and compassion and I wanted to take care of it. I have like fallen in love with mtself and care about myself and it's transformative.
I wasn't sure I was a girl until i let myself see if i liked it and boy howdy do I love it i'm never going back.
Dudes in the past use to wear much shorter shorts too. Clothing takes on gendered meaning in a cultures relative time and place, so I don't think there's anything intrinsically masculine or feminine etc. about the length of one's trousers.
What helped me a lot was asking myself if I actually wanted to be a cis man. It is from a blogpost called "The Null hypotecis", or so. It's sadly been taken down, but an archive version(that I also don't have) exists, so maybe someone else could link it.
I personally never felt, or feel, comfortable in shorts at all, and still also like wearing my male clothes. I was however always very particular about my hair.
You could start with setting everything up, researching doctors and acces to hormones, to wherever you want to go, and prepare whatever documents could be needed. And start learning haircare and grow it out(if you want to ofc). Stuff like that, or voice training, that mostly needs time and effort, and it's very affirming.
I really should start looking into that, since I am starting to feel like I might want that. I'm already growing it out a little bit and like it more then when it was cut short (this last time getting it cut felt really bad). and yes, voice training... I need to do that.
Is it this one? https://freethoughtblogs.com/nataliereed/2012/04/17/the-null-hypothecis/
edit I started reading the above
It’s probably just a kink, a sex thing
It’s just my asberger’s
What’s interesting, and where this again, for me, sheds a lot of light on the amazingly strange ways that belief and doubt operate in the human mind, on what beautifully irrational little things we are, and feels like an important touchstone for skeptics to explore, is that a lot of this irrational denial can itself be framed as the due, logical level of skepticism that such a drastic decision demands.
After all, surely if we’re going to risk so much, put so much at stake, in such a monumental “decision”, we should approach it carefully, and make sure to be certain, right? Shouldn’t we be looking for proof that we’re trans before gambling our whole lives on that being the case?
This whole idea that your subjective identity can’t be legitimate unless you’re somehow able to back it up with objective evidence is a pretty awful situation to be put in, especially when you’re inflicting it on yourself, given how any “proof” of being trans is entirely dependent on subjective experience. What proves that you’re trans is only to understand yourself as trans. When dealing with gatekeepers and family and the numerous external forces that would deny us our identities, it’s not such a crippling situation, because at least we know, and we are the proof, and beyond that it’s simply a matter of figuring out what they think would count as “proof” and what exactly they need to see or hear to believe you (if anything). But when imposing this situation on yourself, when the only possible actual certainty is in accepting and understanding yourself as trans, but you refuse to accept and understand yourself as such until you have that certainty… you’ve created an impossible situation for yourself.
Cool! It's still up, great to know. I love that essay.
Well, maybe… if proof of being trans was even really something possible, beyond the simple proof of subjectively experiencing your identity and gender as such. But more importantly: we never ask ourselves for “proof” that we’re cis.
Cis is treated as the null hypothesis. It doesn’t require any evidence. It’s just the assumed given. All suspects are presumed cisgender until proven guilty of transsexuality in a court of painful self-exploration. But this isn’t a viable, logical, “skeptical” way to approach the situation. In fact it’s not a case of a hypothesis being weighed against a null hypothesis (like “there’s a flying teapot orbiting the Earth” vs. “there is no flying teapot orbiting the Earth”), it is simply two competing hypotheses. Two hypotheses that should be held to equal standards and their likelihood weighed against one another.
I have quite the same. Besides clothing and shaving I'm not sure if I want to do something else or if I have any kind of dysphoria. Maybe I do when I look at my face? I can't quite tell for some reason.
clothing dysphoria (envy?) discussion (if that makes sense)
I probably over spoiler but
Its really weird how I can feel... I don't know if its dysphoria or gender envy but I really want to wear girl shorts instead of guy shorts. Its 6 inches of fabric brain, why is that such a big deal? Like really wanting to wear a skirt makes sense because there's nothing like it in normal guy clothing, but shorts? Really? That's what I feel a deep longing in my heart to change?
Also how weird is that? Its not part of my body but... I don't know. It feels a lot like how I want to shave my legs, yaknow? But that's part of me. I guess they're both gender presentation things. I don't know where I'm going with this or if I'm making sense so I'll just cut it off here.
Ur wrong actually, I can confirm that girl shorts are fukken awesome. You should wear them. Especially booty shorts
But you're definitely not being silly.
They look fukken awesome
I will once I get a chance.
deleted by creator
Byeah :)
Wait did you read it or are you just going Byeah?
:)
Nah I didn't read it :) If I notice someone deleted a reply to me I usually respond, half the time it results in cool convos?
I bought a girl laptop instead of a boy laptop
Lmao i feel you, I had to buy a belt yesterday and I was mildly freaking out because I couldn't find a cute women's belt and had to settle for a "good enough" men's belt.
Also can someone tell me if this is actually a sign I'm trans or am I being silly (if I am please just say so)
the thing is just wanting to wear traditionally girl clothes or do girl things still doesn't inherently make you trans. some femboys never transition, some people crossdress just because they like it - aesthetic preferences aren't always absolutes in terms of gender identity (not to mention transwomen who never want to wear shorts shorts or shave their legs).
maybe this is putting it a bit too simply, but some people transition due to dysphoria, some over euphoria, and some because they just want to. does what you've been feeling and confused about fall into any of those categories? what would you gain right now from knowing you were trans?
dysphoria
I think it falls into the dysphoria category. I am constantly uncomfortable in my body and it has only gotten worse the more I consider things. It feels too large, too manish, too hairy, its gross and I hate it. My body feels like a prison I am lugging around. I haven't gotten to try much girl stuff so I haven't really felt much gender euphoria.
I would feel legitimate and like I have a plan to go forward with.
it took my egg years to crack but i can tell you once i tried it 'shaving just a like bit to see how it feels' things went QUICK. Shaving my dark hair off was like cleaning my body and for the first time ever I looked upon my body with love and compassion and I wanted to take care of it. I have like fallen in love with mtself and care about myself and it's transformative.
I wasn't sure I was a girl until i let myself see if i liked it and boy howdy do I love it i'm never going back.
I already shave a lot, its the visible stuff that I still want to. I really like how you put that, it really does feeling like cleaning my body.
That sounds amazing, I hope I feel like that eventually.
I highly recommend reading this, https://freethoughtblogs.com/nataliereed/2012/04/17/the-null-hypothecis/
Dudes in the past use to wear much shorter shorts too. Clothing takes on gendered meaning in a cultures relative time and place, so I don't think there's anything intrinsically masculine or feminine etc. about the length of one's trousers.
So idk, shits complicated
What helped me a lot was asking myself if I actually wanted to be a cis man. It is from a blogpost called "The Null hypotecis", or so. It's sadly been taken down, but an archive version(that I also don't have) exists, so maybe someone else could link it.
I personally never felt, or feel, comfortable in shorts at all, and still also like wearing my male clothes. I was however always very particular about my hair.
My gut immediately said no. I suppose that could be interpreted as being a sign I'm trans
Kinda sounds that way
You can stop being a man if you want to, it's a choice.
big sigh I can't right now, in this moment. I would like to start moving away from it though.
You could start with setting everything up, researching doctors and acces to hormones, to wherever you want to go, and prepare whatever documents could be needed. And start learning haircare and grow it out(if you want to ofc). Stuff like that, or voice training, that mostly needs time and effort, and it's very affirming.
I really should start looking into that, since I am starting to feel like I might want that. I'm already growing it out a little bit and like it more then when it was cut short (this last time getting it cut felt really bad). and yes, voice training... I need to do that.
Voice training is fun, if you like playing with your voice. It's not as bad (for me) as everyone has been saying.
Yes! I personally loved voice training. It was a part of my transition that I felt I had control over.
Voice training gives me so much agency. I wish I could remove facial hair by practicing a lot.
Is it this one? https://freethoughtblogs.com/nataliereed/2012/04/17/the-null-hypothecis/
edit I started reading the above
That last part I highlighted is very interesting.
Cool! It's still up, great to know. I love that essay.
for good measure
I have quite the same. Besides clothing and shaving I'm not sure if I want to do something else or if I have any kind of dysphoria. Maybe I do when I look at my face? I can't quite tell for some reason.
i want to wear girl shorts too i feel ya they have that little notch that is nnngg trying to find them in my size rn