WE BEAT THE NEWS MEGA
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I went out grocery shopping with my gf in a pink powerpuff girl sweatshirt and a mask and while I was standing near the door waiting for her to finish checking out a random lady came up to me and complimented my sweater and I was nervous the whole time she was only doing it cuz she knew I was trans.
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maybe
I mean, women just do this. Like my cis women friends compliment each other's outfits all the time and get compliments from strangers all the time. So do I when I'm wearing one of my Seryph© outfits with all my silly distinctive aesthetics and pieces. (Turns out people love a good beret)
Hell one time I almost complimented a cis woman's outfit since I loved it so much but stopped myself since I was presenting masc at the time and didn't want to come off like I was hitting on her. (It was such a cute sweet lolita too...)
It really doesn't mean that they clocked you, especially if you were masking considering how that can help with passing.
yeah, idk what they would of clocked that being the case tbh
maybe my shoulders? they are technically within average female range, but on the upper part of that especially for my height, idk.
I probably did just look like a chick with my hoodie up and a mask on, so it was probably just that, but I was still worried about it the whole time.
I mean if you were wearing a sweater your actual shoulder width wouldn't be that clear either, from your description you probably just passed and she thought the sweater was cute. Women just do that. At most maybe she noticed you were anxious but that's not an exclusively trans thing. And if it was that she probably thought you were anxious about something unrelated and that complimenting you would have helped you feel a little better.
When you haven't experienced it much it can be a bit odd compared to when you pass as male and get basically 0 compliments, but that doesn't mean that it's them pitying you. It's just a different type of social experience.
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I know it's really awkward sometimes when cis dorks get overly effusive, but I mean if they're respecting your gender & presentation anyway it's pretty fine right?
It does occur to me though, if cis people really be doing this, there's a much better than 0 chance that they've used whatever their gender criteria is to "clock as trans" another cis person and do the same. Lmao.
It could be read as respecting or respectful, but I feel like it could also be read as patronizing, y’know?
Cis people are dorky about it, I remember doing the same.
okay maybe I'm not the best exampleBut I really think they mean well.Uh I guess it's possible, I like to think people giving compliments aren't doing it to be shitty though y'know? I mean cis people are losers, I doubt that's their intent though..
I don’t think it’s them being purposefully shitty really, I think they do have good intentions, but it’s like the good intentions you have when you let your little cousin win at a game.
Well if you think every cis person views you that way, I guess... But it could just as easily be like, they can tell you're nervous as fuck and think you could use it? Or even: they just genuinely mean what they say? Even with a ton of RSD and distrust of neurotypicals I don't see a reason to secondguess them on this.
Gonna be honest I do have a very negative view on how cis people conceptualize trans people and transness.
I don't think most of them actually get it and I don't think most of them truly see us as women.
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bite me
I'm sure many of them probably don't, realistically, because we live in a world of transphobic fuckers. But why would they then go out of their way to compliment you if they think this?
That doesn't make a ton of sense to me.
alleged brainworms
because that can manifest in ways from active hostility and hatefulness to pity depending on the person.
conservatives want us dead, but a lot of the times it feels like liberals only accept us as a third gender that makes them good people for being nice to.