Sending good vibes to all of my trans comrades 
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HRT QUESTION:
so your muscles make up a LOT of calories, right? body builders have to eat a ton of protein to build more muscle, but what happens to all that muscle as it atrophies away? right now i can feel myself getting physically weaker and more tired from the estrogen, but what happens to my muscles? they don't just disappear, right? they have got to go somewhere. am i just pooping them out? am i converting them back into useable calories?
Generally as you loss mass more than you gain (from eating) you lose it by breathing out CO2. Always wild to think about, but that's where it goes.
Reverse for a tree, a tiny lil seed gets all the mass it needs to make more tree not by the soil but by CO2 in the air.
As you lose muscle it gets converted to calories and the essential proteins find somewhere else to be and the electrolytes just get excreted in urine. The calories do their thing in mitochondria, convert a bunch of ADP to ATP in the presence of O2, the CO2 that's produced as a byproduct enters your blood as carbonic acid, your brain detects the decrease in pH and you breath it out.
What you poop out is basically just bilirubin from dead red blood cells and also a whole lot of your internal microbiome (dead bacteria/their waste/excess bacteria). And whatever else you couldn't digest, like fiber.
When muscle tissue atrophies yorur body repurposes the protein to use, your body can't store protein though, excess can turn to fat.
(How tiddies, hips, thighs and booty happen)
can it happen just a little faster please?
I mean I got a lot of mine in the first year, so... yes, but also no? I am still getting stuff moving around in small measures nine years later, so it happens fast but also you have tons to look forward to. Do squats for big butt!!
i tried doing those but the muscle fatigue from the E is making it really hard to to any exercise
but once i can, i'm going to do squats untill i got to clench my cheeks just to fit through the doorway, just you watch
Indeed
gah, no wonder i can't seem to lose any weight recently
I wouldn't worry so much so early in your transition, hormones move fat around
yeah but i want it sooner which is why i'm trying to weight cycle but i can't weight cycle if i don't lose weight
sigh... patience is hard
Unfortunately it is a slow process.. but it will be worth it, just try doing lots of squats and other healthy exercise.
I have recently had my shoulder muacles atrophy somewhat and thats taken a long time. I build muscle very easily so it can be difficult plus I still lift to keep my strength.
I actually never thought how it works