SALUTE
I have barely watched Breaking Bad
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Let's have another good week everyone 
CW
suicide mention
Getting more side effects from my meds. Last night I almost fainted when laughing and had to lay on the floor for a bit, this morning I got a nose bleed which used to regularly happen to me but hasn't in years. Now I just have this vague sense of unwellness, like something bad is going to happen but I don't know what. On top of all of that I feel like the Wellbutrin is becoming less effective in combating my depression
First I had the whole manic episode, then the sleeping problems, now this. Goddammit I just want to to live life without wanting to blow my brains out. Still dealing with all of this shit is better than being suicidal, I just wish I could be happy without medical intervention
I take fucking 9 pills a day just to make life bearable, this shit sucks
Wellbutrin
Can cause issues for anyone with any amount of trauma related insomnia. It inhibits the reuptake of both norepinephrine and dopamine. Dopamine influences ability to fall asleep, stay asleep, and get back to sleep.
Norepinephrine influences the fight or flight response, which means if you have any sort of trauma related sleep anxiety (say from nightmares or a history of nightmares), it will compound it.
I tried it for smoking cessation and after sleeping less than two hours a night for a week, gave up on it.
Meditation and exercise have been the two most helpful things for me. But that requires time and motivation for self care. So I'm still on a lot of meds, still smoking weed and cigarettes, and still struggling. But I'm seeing meds as an obstacle to self care, something to let go of gradually as I transition and learn to give myself more grace.
If you like the Wellbutrin otherwise though one medication that might help is a norepinephrine blocker at night. I take Prazosin for cptsd nightmares and it helps me fall asleep. But once it wears off after five hours I'm basically up for the day.
The extra norepinephrine made me dizzy for about two weeks coming on and then a few weeks after stopping. But dizzy in a very specific way? Only when I was like moving NY head. It was weird. Helped my memory out mkre
I'm not sure about the dizziness. The bloody nose could be the Wellbutrin. Especially if you're in a lot of AC right now with summer.
Sorry you're going through it. Sorting out meds is often a headache.