SALUTE
I have barely watched Breaking Bad
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Let's have another good week everyone 
Been there, done that, seems great briefly then abruptly ends up awful when you want to quit and realize your tolerance has built up to some physical chemical dependency and you feel like when SpongeBob got the suds, would not recommend
Yeah I don't, it's tempting but I have seen the ruinous effects waaay too often to ever really do it
CW addiction/booze stuff
spoiler
Being briefly Mx. Lahey "right in the slot" 0.12 can be a good time for awhile but using booze as an anxiety treatment is a bad time, especially when "does anyone suspect that I've been drinking?" is also something you get anxious about lmao
Bad feedback loop Never really got sloppy wasted around other people or made any dangerous bad decisions thankfully but yeah that's definitely a slippery slope you don't wanna go down
Good
I have a prescription for Gabapentin I need to get actually, I am tryna treat the anxiety fr :)
I know it sounds like a "um sweaty have u tried yoga?"-ass suggestion too, but strenuous exercise really helps me dial down the flighty/anxious impulses I get too
Granted I was a weirdo gymrat type for awhile and got into "make number go up" one rep max increases and that might be at odds with the kind of bodytype you want but HIIT cardio and isometrics can be good for that too
Probably the calmest I've ever been mentally was after "damn I hope I can still walk to my car and drive home because my legs are complete jelly now" leg days, those endorphins are something
Naw it's a good suggestion, I have a bike and as a youngun I did a lot of jogging and biking and stuff. I've been meaning to get a rowing machine or small weights anyhow.
....sadly my body is degrading very fast, I am weak and ailing
so a lot of that I'll have to start small and might be a bad idea anyway.
I wouldn't mind some muscle definition, being able to lift your wife is fuckin awesome for example. And post workout high is great, I do miss it ngl...
That's why I do it regularly