I am tired of going to bed "crying" and dysphoric. I am tired of waking up "crying" and dysphoric. I am tired of feeling lonely, dysphoric, and depressed all day. I am tired of worrying. Worrying about transition, worried about social issues, worried about the fucking planet being on fire. Why do I even want to live in hellbody, in hellworld? I don't. I want all this to stop.

Why is it damn hard to actually do it. Like actually couldn't if I wanted to. For how hard maintaining life is ending it isn't fucking easy either.

Why can't I just die good lord, I don't want to suffer like this. My brain and hellworld are both broken. I have no faith either can be fixed, so why continue?

I've hated living in hellworld for a while. Navigating it like this is obviously not any better. I desperately, desperately just want it to be better. But it won't. Society is clearly coming apart at the seams, and this dysphoria stuff isn't fun either.