(i ripped this off wikipedia real fast so sorry if it's lib)
In October 1776, the Public Universal Friend contracted an epidemic disease and was bedridden and near death with a high fever. Their family summoned a doctor from Attleboro, six miles away, and neighbors kept up a death-watch at night. The fever broke after several days. The Friend later reported that [deadname redacted] had died, receiving revelations from God through two archangels who proclaimed there was "Room, Room, Room, in the many Mansions of eternal glory for Thee and for everyone". The Friend further said that [deadname redacted]'s soul had ascended to heaven and the body had been reanimated with a new spirit charged by God with preaching his word, that of the "Publick Universal Friend", describing that name in the words of Isaiah 62:2 as "a new name which the mouth of the Lord hath named".
From that time on, the Friend refused to answer to their deadname, ignoring or chastising those who insisted on using it. When visitors asked if it was the name of the person they were addressing, the Friend simply quoted Luke 23:3 ("thou sayest it"). Identifying as neither male nor female, the Friend asked not to be referred to with gendered pronouns. Followers respected these wishes; they referred only to "the Public Universal Friend" or short forms such as "the Friend" or "P.U.F.", and many avoided gender-specific pronouns even in private diaries. When someone asked if the Friend was male or female, the preacher replied "I am that I am", saying the same thing to a man who criticized the Friend's manner of dress (adding, in the latter case, "there is nothing indecent or improper in my dress or appearance; I am not accountable to mortals").
editorial note: I think this is a very cool story and I really love hearing it. We've been around forever and we've been doing variations of this forever. It's really beautiful
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sad
Very very sad
Very very lonely
Want to talk so desperately
But cannot be vulnerable
People hurting hurts me
Im surrounded by hurt people
Im also a hurt person
I want to be taken care of
I want to take care of those im close to
I just want to be held
And told everything is ok.
Even if its just for a night, or even just a few minutes, I want to know that its ok.
I want to feel loved
I am loved
I just cant feel it.
I can never feel it.
I can love.
But no matter how much someone loves me, i can never feel it.
Im alienated from my self and my feelings of love.
Do i even love anymore?
or do i just chase ghosts?
I havent had friends last more than a year, maybe two.
Now im coming up on the time to leave again.
Everyone always leaves me
So i try to leave first.
I got close to them.
It was a mistake.
because now i dont want to leave.
but i have to.
its not safe to be close to people
its safest alone
but alone is lonely
i just cant find people who want to hear about my experience of life.
except i can
i just dont want to be close to them once they care about me
because it isnt safe anymore
i know its not real,
but everyone leaves
so i have to leave first.
That way i dont get hurt.
Goodnight