K (189?–?) Soviet pioneer. From Kazan, Tartarstan, USSR, K was diagnosed as a ‘transvestite’ in 1937.
She was given permission by the People’s Court to wear female clothing, her identity papers were changed to her female name, and her name was removed from the military recruitment rolls.
She was featured in a 1957 gynaecology textbook.
M.G. Serdiukov. Sudebnaia ginekologiia I sudebnoi akusherstvo. Moscow: Meditsina 1957: 47-8.
Dan Healey. Homosexual Desire in Revolutionary Russia: The Regulation of Sexual and Gender Dissent. Chicago and London: The University of Chicago Press, 2001: fig 24.
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Its that im scared of how others will view me and treat me because I'm surrounded by transphobes and because of what women have to endure in general. And I know I don't have to it's the uncertainty of not knowing myself that's getting to me , and I don't know what's wrong with me and why I feel so awful and I think not being ok with my gender identity as it is now is part of it. Per other posters I'll take little steps and try things and start thinking about myself in different ways and try not be apprehensive about it
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People can be sucky for sure, but consider:
Most trans people are more satisfied with their life after transitioning, even with the existence of transphobes. A lot of people talk about the sucky parts of the trans experience, but there's also so much stuff that is so wonderful and awesome about it.
I'm so happy you're thinking about taking little steps and experimenting. But if at any point you realise you're not trans? That's totally 100% valid