How it really went
Putin: Hello, Mr President. I trust you are well?
Biden: Well Sally, lemme tell ya. Back in the 20s we had a thing called a wicker hoop, was a good year for fishing. Me and the fellers knew a barber down near the malt store, he'd sell a mean look for a dime. Now this man was Russian, I'd tell him, c'mon man have some of this malt and we'd play marbles down with the fellers. Now he wasn't fat but he had a look going on and you know what we say... the... C'mon you know, ya stupid idiot."
It's weird that Biden has such a cult that this low hanging bit is only done by leftists. I enjoy the bit, don't get me wrong but it would be a lazy SNL writer's dream, you just go into a trance and make sure to never stop typing until you feel a bit tired and BOOM you got a Biden rant.
Exactly, it's easy. I terally just said a bunch of old man shit and then ended with "you know". But it's still funny to me and it's crazy to think making fun of Biden isn't nire common
Like...this is the most unfunny shit I've ever seen in my life this week. It doesn't even make sense, and I wish liberals weren't exposed to that phrase.
(Let it be known I’m not making fun of her appearance, but what she is deliberately doing with her face)
What the fuck is that face?! :michael-laugh:
You’re mocking her appearance because you don’t like strong women. She’s doing a girlboss face. It’s kind of like the Tory power stance. You should do your research, sweatie
I cannot read this without thinking Biden said this to an empty chair like clint eastwood in 2012. Putin's not even in the room, Biden's brain just pulled an epic clapback from the mist and he wandered away afterwards.
Putin the black belt and former member of the KGB has a reasonable claim to be more personally intimidating than the geriatric old man
For real, I'm 30 and not in the worst shape and have actually fought in my adult life but Putin would probably kick my ass. Biden reminds me of this 80 year old that lives next to my grandparents and liked to play box with me when I was three. I popped him really good as a three year old by accident and almost took him out.
Biden has previously had two hemorrhagic strokes and has to take warfarin, the trickiest blood thinner, for his atrial fibrillation.
A dead pigeon falling out of the sky could result in Kamala Harris getting sworn in.
Fun Fact: Warfarin was originally created and marketed in 1940's as a rat killer.
I could take Putin on in an honorable combat sport event. Bet
Dude that's actually killed people v dude that dealt with a guy named Cornpop
Actual transcripts from the meeting:
Biden:
Putin:
Biden:
Putin:
Biden: Y'all here about China, my man?
Putin: ... what, like...that they're a thing?
Biden: Naw man, it's crazy, crazy stuff, man. You wouldn't believe the crazy stuff going on there. My guys, my guys in the... ... ... in the ... ... my guys in the service, the secret service, they were showing me how they got this thing called a ... a...
... a G-Gundam, and there's is this crazy fire one with dragons and stuff, Dragon Hands! And the pilot, why he's just a kid, can you believe that! But I think I've got an in! You see he ... the pilot, he's real sweet on that Denmark girl, the Denmark pilot's sister, so I think if I can arrange somethin' there to soften 'em up ...
Putin: ... ... ... ours has a cool laser-chain flail thing, did you see that?
Biden visiting Japan while he was vice president and accidentaly opening his hotel TV to G-Gundam re-runs and now they are somehow the only memories left in his brain to try form thoughts from, announcing US gonna invade China cause Xi has stollen the Devil Gundam to annihilate the Uyghurs
I think when they stopped protesting the Iraq war and started thinking Hamilton was activism, that's when it got a whole lot worse
I'd pay to see two old men at the pinacle of wealth and privilege having a slap fight on an international stage, especially if it saves a bunch of poor teens and 20-somethings dying.
Blinken isn’t real. We liked Pompeo’s policy, and created this alias. We also made him do a lot of cocaine so he’d lose weight and then put him on downers so he’d seem more polished.
Added a bit of make up, did his hair, and voila
My absolute goddamn favorite thing about this is that in terms of relative power Russia is really quite weak. Their army isn't what it used to be, their economy is in absolute shambles and their country itself is just crumbling left and right. Meanwhile China is the complete opposite. Flourishing, powerful military, rapidly growing economy.
Who's America and the west devoting all their time and effort on? Russia :michael-laugh:
I don't really know if that's true. Only the libs who think politics is the thing that happens every 4 years where 2 people hold a contest are still going hard on Russia for interfering and getting Cheeto Benito elected. All the others have moved on to Chinabad.
The voting base? Yes. The actual politicians? No. They held their silly little G7, it was on the agenda, but they barely got anything out of it. They're getting crushed by B&R and they're utterly incapable of stopping it because they barely still give a fuck.
Yeah. DARPA and RAND and the Pentagon aren't the ones yelling about Sergei Balalaika's 3am texts or whatever.
It was something like that but Biden actually said "excuse me, I have to go to the, you know, the thing".
