I saw some old friends yesterday, which was wonderful, it was great to catch up. The thing was I'm not out to them. I meant to come out, but I just like never found the right time. So I boymoder, kind of. It was like a questionable boymode where I had my hair down and women's skinny jeans and my nails are painted purple.
I think they knew something was up, because several of them kept mentioning random trans people that they knew, just like randomly. I started doing it to, and we basically had this weird conversation about transness while I sat there sweating. Also, at one point, my friend looked at me and said "you look a lot brighter recently
also, i like your earrings btw". i didn't know how to respond to that and was very awkward.
This is fucking embarrassing. Why didn't I just come out? Wtf
It's hard, don't feel too bad! You didn't know how they was gonna be going in and decided to play it safe. And then once your information changed, it felt like too long of a wait. Now you know at least that it won't be horrible when/if you do tell them next time :)
Coming out is fucking hard, don't beat yourself up.
When I was doing it, it helped in each instance to have someone who already knew also in the room with me. Not possible in every circumstance but like, it can be hard to accept that people will be supportive even when you know for a fact they will be, so having someone around who already knows and is supportive is so helpful
same thing happened to me with my cousin like 8 months after I started coming out. I tried to boymode but he figured it out and texted me afterwards to apologize for misgendering me and deadnaming me, asking what he should call me going forward. it was really mature and I appreciated him a ton. I didn't come out to him because that side of my family isn't safe (my dad, his parents, etc. are all extremely queerphobic / fash adjacent or outright fash). so I asked him not to out me to anyone other than his wife. I did get outed but idk by who.
I suggest thinking about who in that group is safe and coming out to them - it sounds like they're all trying to be helpful/supportive and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. plus it's a huge weight off your shoulders.
I saw some old friends yesterday, which was wonderful, it was great to catch up. The thing was I'm not out to them. I meant to come out, but I just like never found the right time. So I boymoder, kind of. It was like a questionable boymode where I had my hair down and women's skinny jeans and my nails are painted purple.
I think they knew something was up, because several of them kept mentioning random trans people that they knew, just like randomly. I started doing it to, and we basically had this weird conversation about transness while I sat there sweating. Also, at one point, my friend looked at me and said "you look a lot brighter recently also, i like your earrings btw". i didn't know how to respond to that and was very awkward.
This is fucking embarrassing. Why didn't I just come out? Wtf
It's hard, don't feel too bad! You didn't know how they was gonna be going in and decided to play it safe. And then once your information changed, it felt like too long of a wait. Now you know at least that it won't be horrible when/if you do tell them next time :)
That's a better way to look at it. Thanks.
Coming out is fucking hard, don't beat yourself up.
When I was doing it, it helped in each instance to have someone who already knew also in the room with me. Not possible in every circumstance but like, it can be hard to accept that people will be supportive even when you know for a fact they will be, so having someone around who already knows and is supportive is so helpful
Lmao I can imagine they talking about all those trans people and you're there like
But don't worry, I'm sure you will come out to them soon :)
same thing happened to me with my cousin like 8 months after I started coming out. I tried to boymode but he figured it out and texted me afterwards to apologize for misgendering me and deadnaming me, asking what he should call me going forward. it was really mature and I appreciated him a ton. I didn't come out to him because that side of my family isn't safe (my dad, his parents, etc. are all extremely queerphobic / fash adjacent or outright fash). so I asked him not to out me to anyone other than his wife. I did get outed but idk by who.
I suggest thinking about who in that group is safe and coming out to them - it sounds like they're all trying to be helpful/supportive and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. plus it's a huge weight off your shoulders.