If you haven't ever once thought of yourself as a different gender, you are quite unimaginative!
I'm kind of playing around here, anyway. I wouldn't know what to do with a gender if I found one.
I remember one time I was going through the whole "magic pill makes you opposite sex/gender for a day" thing in my head, and as a cis dude, was pretty neutral/comfortable with the prospect until I gave myself a brief, very vivid hallucination of gender dysphoria at the thought of having to present in public as a woman.
First two thoughts in my head afterward: "Oh, so that's what gender dysphoria is", and "well that answers the question of 'how do I know I'm cis tho' pretty definitively", lmao
Yeah, I agree! It’s also very affirming for trans people who have some degree of self-doubt early on to hear these things. Most cis people will read this sort of meme and shrug. 🙂
“Still cis tho”
Seriously tho, whatever you feel is valid.
:meow-hug:
You better watch out for people protesting construction on indigenous land
With how hard you're pipelining :data-laughing:
Cuz straight men are all still a little gay, at least for themselves.
wait do men actually get like aroused looking at themselves in the mirror and stuff
When you look this good it's hard not to get a little hot :pingu-horny:
Pro tip: Suppression doesn’t make anything go away, it just compounds the pressure.
prevent the pure-O adjacent thoughts
Could you explain what this means? I’ve never heard that term before. 🙂
Oh, got it! Thank you for explaining. Both of those can be true for trans folk. I’m sure it’s also possible for cis people to find themselves ruminating about the concept as well, though.
Hi! My OCD presents as Pure O and I also experience gender dysphoria. There is indeed a lot of overlap between the two. OCD can potentially trigger obsessing about one’s own gender. It could also trigger involuntary arousal that could be confused with the arousal some trans people feel at beginning to affirm their own gender. I once heard someone say that sexual attraction was the only societally acceptable way to process their own gender at the time. However, OCD does not trigger gender euphoria or facilitate productive gender exploration. So it is possible to use OCD coping techniques during gender exploration. Doing so, as with all gender exploration, requires self care.
Also you should really speak to a psychiatrist if you can. Meds help. Talk therapy helps.
Gender identity and sexual attraction are separate mechanisms. Embracing masculine expressions as a cishet man is, as far as I can tell, an identity-affirming process. It does not make them want to fuck themselves.
Hard to say just because the words aren’t always super precise. I’m definitely not trying to say you should do anything. I guess what I’m trying to say is that there are different attractions. Romantic, sexual, aesthetic, platonic, etc. So you can judge your own attractiveness with one and not another or a combination of them
I feel you. The common wisdom seems to be that it’s rarely as impossible as it seems to adjust your presentation, but it’s hard to deny that it feels insurmountable sometimes, especially if it’s not something you’ve given a lot of thought prior. I personally have ignored my own appearance as much as possible for a long time.
Yeah we super do not give people the proper language to differentiate between them. Honestly it would have been very helpful to me fighting off my shame around attraction if I’d been able to tell the difference between horny while a girl is present, being sexually attracted to a girl, and being romantically attracted to a girl. Would have made me feel less creepy and probably just general more sociable
Gender identity and sexual attraction are separate mechanisms.
I think it's a little more complicated than that, at least in my experience. I know a lot of other lesbians that have spent a lot of time asking "do I want to be her or do her" about a lot of women they thought were neat too lol.
I have a friend who went on a rant like this before... turns out there actually non-binary...
...specifically a demi-boy...:thonk-trans:
I personally vibe with this viewpoint tho so idk.
My other reply was a quick shitpost on break but I wanna respond more seriously now that I have time. I think the logic is perfectly reasonable, but the problem with it is, it's logic. Gender and sexuality are based on feelings, and feelings don't care about your facts. In this context, it's like that Spongebob meme where Patrick agrees with everything and then at the end he's like, "That's not my wallet." That's everybody, in this context. You can argue that if a straight guy finds women attractive, and he wants to look attractive, then he should want to look like a woman. But then he can just be like, "No." And that's valid! You don't have to have facts and logic backing up how you want to present or who you're attracted to.
Another reason logic doesn't really work here is that there's too many factors. I could just as easily say, "Logically, men benefit the most from privilege so everybody should want to present as a man." There are just too many factors to consider, whichever argument touches on the factors that you personally care about is going to feel the most compelling. "Skirt go spinny" is just as strong of an argument as anything else if that's what matters to you.
You mean normal people don't imagine themselves as men, women, angels, robots, kaiju, bears, and assorted other things just kind of idly all the time?
I daydream about flying a lot. Please let me soar serenely above it all.
Fun fact I didn’t know until earlier this year: gender identity and gender presentation are different things!
"How often do you think about completely expropriating the wealth of the international bourgeoisie?"
:vivian-shrug:
There's a lot of things in the world to ponder and it's natural to ponder on things more relevant to yourself. There's also a definite difference between mulling it over a couple times when bored and regularly coming back to the thought.
I feel guilty for only ever considering it when the volcel police need to be called.
No need to feel guilty for that at all! That is a very normal experience for many people. The idea that it's bad or invalid to get turned on thinking of yourself as the other gender originally comes from a transphobe who faked their research results.
As always, you're the only one who can process through what those feelings means for you. I just want to encourage people that they're valid and not weird. :)
raises hand
...what if i'm just curious about what fucking myself would be like?
I’m not Freudian enough to know how to unpack that with you.
Oh man, TFW you're chattin with da bois, and talking about dreams, and get weird looks when you ask them how often they're a girl in their dreams
Apparently the answer is none. None of the time.
And here I thought it was just one of those things like dreaming you're Link, or a bird, or w/e.
And to think it took me like a decade from that conversation to realize I'm not cis.
:meow-hug:
We're told so often that you have to always feel dysphoria your whole life if you're trans when so often our minds are very good at using suppression to keep us safe. Euphoria and fantasy are a lot more common because we don't feel the need to protect ourselves from it.
It’s great this meme is so relatable to folks! I’ve been posting trans / egg memes to be self-affirming and love the solidarity I’ve received from everyone.
Gender can be a lot for anyone to think over and wherever your thought process is at with it is wonderful and completely okay.
“Normal” here is hella subjective and mostly helpful for highlighting that for many cis people, their certainty in their gender identity is very much a given. There are definitely cis people who are gender aware and love playing around with the many different roles and thinking about what it means for them personally.
I didn’t make this meme, but think it’s helpful for those of us who were/are eggs and going through the mental gymnastics of denial and suppression that is often seen for trans people on the path to accepting themselves.
Your feelings are always valid as is whether (or not) those feelings adapt and change over time.
:trans-heart:
I don't want be a women permanently but I'd love to try it out for a week or two
And you totally can! This site's pronoun tags are a really safe way to do that online in an anonymous way. Just use an alt and try it out as a "thought experiment".
The one or two transphobe trolls who pop up are irritating, but are basically that one abrasive drunk wiener at a party. Hexbear is hands down the most trans inclusive space I've ever been on that wasn't specifically for trans people. It's incredible.
You can also try being a woman out publicly if you feel up for it! I haven't fully done that yet (presenting increasingly androgynous) even though I'm fully embracing my true gender identity.
I’ll second changing up the pronoun tags. You can even make alts to try one out if that’s better
