from an anti-poly BookFace group that claims to be ML :wtf-am-i-reading:

a lot of things have been ruined by captialism but this is such bad fucking analysis

  • penguin_von_doom [she/her]
    ·
    3 years ago

    Its not entirely without basis, in the sense that a lot of poly indeed has a lot of neoliberal underpinnings related to individuals being individuals, individuals being replaceable, treating people as commodities, the transient nature of most modern relationships, and the lack of community, which some people try to replace with an inordinate amount of intimate relationships. With all that I don't mean that poly is bad, au contraire, poly can and does work, but it does require you to decolonize your mind.

    • sooper_dooper_roofer [none/use name]
      ·
      edit-2
      3 years ago

      It goes either way IMO

      some people really just want to be selfish atomized sex addicts, and polyamory is technically compatible with that

      other people just legitimately want to have more than one actual relationship, and polyamory is compatible with that.

      The first kind is even more alienating than a "trad nuclear family", and the second kind is less alienating.

        • sooper_dooper_roofer [none/use name]
          ·
          edit-2
          3 years ago

          well, you made me revisit my reason for using that language. The reason I used it was that I've seen instances where a (usually hetero) couple goes poly, and one partner will essentially stop sexually desiring the other.

          Whether this cessation of sexual desire was there to begin with and was the original motivation for the polyamory in the first place, or whether it developed naturally after going poly, is an open question. If the former, I think it qualifies as "selfish". If the latter, then it can't be helped and too bad

          But yea I guess it was harsh and not super accurate language. But I really doubt that there are zero couples who fit that first type

          again this isn't a criticism of polyamory as every other arrangement has its own problems too

      • penguin_von_doom [she/her]
        ·
        3 years ago

        To be fair, trad nuclear family is something that I find particularly scary, but yeah.

        • sooper_dooper_roofer [none/use name]
          ·
          3 years ago

          Well I actually misspoke, I should have said "trad monogamous couple". Multigenerational family would still work

          What do you find scary about nuclear families? Environmental impact/suburbia?

          • penguin_von_doom [she/her]
            ·
            3 years ago

            What do you find scary about nuclear families? Environmental impact/suburbia?

            The neurosis of it. The whole repressed milquetoast suburbian non-existence it offers, the alienation ...

    • jabrd [he/him]
      ·
      3 years ago

      It's a lazy, non-materialist take which is extra egregious when you have literal Marxist-Leninist revolutionaries like Kollontai out here doing in depth work on the nature of sex, love, and romantic relationships as superstructural outcomes of the material world. There's so much work to actually be done untangling and understanding these social dynamics from a Marxist perspective and this guy ain't it lol

      • penguin_von_doom [she/her]
        ·
        3 years ago

        no seriously like everything does, imagine thinking this specifically is relevant in any way except if you’re a straight-up theorist writing a book rn

        IDK, when youre drunk at 2 am with your buddies and talking about all kinds of things a lot of stuff becomes relevant.

        my ass has neoliberal underpinnings

        I am really trying to come up with a joke about this that involves "destroyed by privatization" and the free market ...