in my 8th grade science class, we were learning the metric prefixes. and this is in the US, so it's basically an enemy language.

anyway, I raise my hand and ask about other prefixes like mega-, giga-, and nano-. this is in the early 90s, so before they were known more widely due to consumer electronics.

the 8th grade honors science teacher just shakes her head and says, "those aren't real. they are just in silly movies." rolling her eyes. all the kids laughed at me.

get fucked, Mrs. Paul.

Growing up truly is realizing that all the adults in my life have been just as huge dipshits as me currently as an adult.

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in kindergarten i was putting together a us state puzzle and it had the piece for Alaska smaller than the state of Texas. A teacher asked my puzzle group what the largest state was. I said Alaska. The teacher said I was wrong because the puzzle piece for Texas was bigger. I was like the puzzle is wrong. The teacher took away my recess and said she had been to all fifty states and Texas was the biggest state.

In middle school social studies class, the teacher gave us one of those quizzes that came with the textbook teaching materials. One of the questions on the quiz showed a line graph representing the depth of the Chunnel at different points along its length. The question (multiple choice) was "how deep is the Chunnel at its deepest point?" All you had to do was find the lowest point on the line. Everyone in the class chose the same answer because it was an absurdly easy question and because only one of the multiple choices even remotely made sense. The teacher said we all got it wrong because the textbook instructor guide answer key said something different. It was obviously a misprint or typo in the instructor guide, the answer it listed didn't make a bit of sense no matter how you looked at it. The class spent a good twenty minutes trying to convince our teacher that the answer key was wrong and trying to get her to explain how the stated answer could be correct. She just kept insisting that the answer was in the key, so we were wrong and that was the end of it. She couldn't even entertain the idea that a mistake had been made, so all of us lost a point on that question.

She wasn't even mean or a hard-ass or anything. She was actually very nice but obviously had no critical thinking skills whatsoever. Terrifying that someone like that can become a teacher, but actually when I think about it, she's probably exactly the kind of teacher the system wants. The real lesson she taught that day was to not think for ourselves and trust authority even when it makes no sense to do so.

In sex ed in high school, I went to a super rural CA school so they did abstinence only ofc and most of it was 'don't do' tautology and sl*t shaming. For one of the sex negative exercises we had to pick a cupcake to eat and all touch one. At the end the teacher was trying to compare the promiscus to the 'touched' cupcake, but I didn't let it go that far being that fat kid, so I ate that fucker satisfying my hunger and my hunger for justice. Everyone was in awe, I was a academically good nerd so it shocked the teacher for a moment until everything clicked and he was like 'GTFO office'.

So, I got sent to the office but the neighboring teacher was dying (paperthin walls, and her sex ed was the eye-watering pictures of STDs rather than don't - the end)and sent me back.

me and several people were threatened with suspension by the principal for starting a riot because we had a tradition of getting our high school cafeteria to clap and applaud every Friday at 12:17.

student joy was just too much for them I guess. this is probably why I'm a communist now

Unsurprisingly, many are related to gym.

During a race, I had to run from one end of the gym to the other and then back again. Rather than just stopping at the far end and turning around, I ran kind of in a circle because I wanted to see if it was faster to do so. It wasn’t. Everyone on my team yelled at me. Maybe this was fourth grade? I know it seems minor, but this was part of a pattern at elementary school. If I strayed from the norm even slightly, everyone would instantly yell at me. It still makes me angry thinking about this. Fuck those pieces of shit! The best most of them have been able to do is beg oligarchs for money at useless nonprofits since then, although I’m pretty sure one of my classmates worked for the CIA (he’s also a fucking landlord now).

Once during sixth grade (maybe) we were swinging around on these rings which dangled on ropes from the ceiling, which must be thirty feet high. It was pretty fun, but the gym teacher pushed me too hard and I fell onto the wooden floor away from the mat I was supposed to land on. I sat on the bleachers and was trembling for like half an hour after that one. The gym teacher checked to see if I was okay but didn’t really care. I don’t think kids are allowed to use these rings anymore.

In eighth grade or so, I started getting into running on my own. (I had quit soccer because they started getting serious about it and benched me during games for hours because I guess I wasn’t good enough.) I asked the gym teacher for running advice but he didn’t want to talk with me. Like many gym teachers, he was accused of liking the girls too much. I’ve been running ever since then despite his complete lack of interest and a few years ago I got 9th place in a 5k.

Around this time we were playing dodgeball in the gym. At the beginning of the game you have to run to the middle of the gym to grab the balls. I grabbed a big one that another girl had also grabbed. She accused me of grabbing her boobs. I swear to god, I never touched them. The gym teacher sent me to the principal’s office where I cried my eyes out because I was so ashamed that anyone would accuse me of doing that. The girl acted like she didn’t give a shit. I wasn’t punished after that, so I guess the administration didn’t believe her. This was around the 2000 election, and the girl once bragged that she was planning to meet George W. Bush. Her dad is a lawyer who represents rightwing lunatic politicians, like the kind that aren’t even allowed in the Republican Party. For the record, no one has accused me of inappropriate sexual behavior since then.

Last story. We went out onto the field at the end of the eighth grade to try throwing javelins. Nobody believed I would do a good job, but to everyone’s surprise, including my own, I was the best javelin thrower on that field. It was awesome. But no praise came from the gym teacher. Nobody said: “maybe you should do this in high school.” Nothing. But the class went from saying that I sucked to just not talking about me. I had so many bad experiences with athletic activities that I never did any in high school, though I think now that I might have really enjoyed track.

As an adult I spent a little time subbing at the same school and worked as a gym teacher a few times. It was by far the easiest fucking job I have ever had. Plus, you don’t even have to torture the fucking kids. Nobody gives a shit what you do in there so long as the kids move around and no one gets hurt. The school I worked at was rich, so they had all kinds of cool shit to play with. You can just say: “be nice, be safe, have fun,” and the kids will organize their own activities and have a fucking great time. But every gym teacher I’ve met has honestly been a total fucking bastard (they’re also obvious chuds). It seems like they’re just disappointed athletes who take out their frustration on the kids. Everyone should love gym, but very many people these days are saying that it’s very bad.

I went to school in the rural south so I've got a lot. Got my yugioh cards confiscated and sat down in the office for like 3 hours being accused of Satanism. Multiple teachers told us slavery was necessary, a few told us the confederacy were the good guys. One time a teacher brought some food for something (this was back in the days where thst still happened) and she noticed I didn't eat any. Told her I was a vegetarian, so she pointed and laughed at me, then go the class to join in. Was weird.

One time I got into an argument with a science teacher about how evolution is real. He was claiming young earth creationism. He clapped back by trying to trap me into being racist like he was. He was coming from a position like "well if evolution is real, why did black people evolve to be so inferior?" and the alternative would be believing God made everyone perfect and equal. It was one of the more bizarre moments of my life and one of the first where I realized adults were often full of shit.

I got accused of plagiarism by a 7th grade teacher who didn't know how to use google docs and thought me copying and editing factual information to be in my own words was plagiarizing. he didn't know what edit history was

After 9/11 I had a substitute teacher say that he wanted to round up everyone in the middle east, dump gasoline on their “turbans,” and set them on fire.

We also had a teacher who showed us the movie Not Without My Daughter to show us that Muslims are evil.

Another teacher got mad at some kid and threatened to slam his head in the door.

In English class we were talking about a book that was out of print. I brought in my mom's copy towards the end of the year and the teacher stole it.

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There was this one time I was threatened with academic probation by the department head of my college for a reddit comment calling him an asshole. I guess my description of what had happened in my comment wasn't vague enough and he knew it was me. I had to delete my comment and write an apology letter to him. That dude sucked super fucking hard I still hate his guts to this day.

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I got 2 days of in school suspension for taking my milk cartons out to recess and throwing them at a fence to watch them explode. We didn't even throw them at anyone lmao. I was in like 6th grade.