Can't even fucking talk to any of my various therapists about this shit. No I can't just "not think about stuff I can't control". I'm autistic, have severe general anxiety, and pretty bad ADHD that medication only marginally helps. I've already improved immensely and stopped worrying about most things.

Except this one.

I organize too don't tell me to do that

Also texts about revolutionary optimism didn't help either. All that shit was a hundred years ago in a completely different state of world

  • ashinadash [she/her]
    ·
    9 months ago

    Also interested in this bc becoming a commie has ruined me as a person

    • GaveUp [she/her]
      ·
      9 months ago

      Right?? I was actually so much happier and mentally healthy before it's insane

      • ashinadash [she/her]
        ·
        9 months ago

        Hexbear must answer for this ngl. It's like putting on the shades from They Live glasses-on Walking around the food jail grocery store is an ordeal.

        • GaveUp [she/her]
          ·
          9 months ago

          I blame shitty US propaganda. Straight up I never would've been radicalized if they never did any propaganda but the moment I started paying attention to the news, I started to do research on the ClA because that's where so many sources ended up pointing to

    • infuziSporg [e/em/eir]
      ·
      9 months ago

      Really? I was so frustrated and confused and aimless before. Now it feels like life has a really deep meaning and purpose, even if victory is so far off.

      • ashinadash [she/her]
        ·
        9 months ago

        I can agree with and appreciate this, it's sort of a personal issue I guess. I'm incapable of not spewing leftist talking points whenever someone brings up something relevant, which leads to me basically quoting the manifesto at people like a freak. It just won't leave my brain, you know?

        • infuziSporg [e/em/eir]
          ·
          9 months ago

          I've reflected that most of the friendships I've made throughout my life were made largely because I thought they were a good person, and deep down I enjoyed being around them. And that meant that on some level they had a progressive valueset. If they had a liberal valueset, the friendship wouldn't be very strong, and if they had a reactionary valueset, I would avoid them. Progressive values are kind of a baseline for being a good person in my book.

          People I thought were "just nice"? Disproportionately made up of socialists and some social democrats or broad "progressives", and largely people who are but don't realize it yet. People I thought were "just mean"? Overwhelmingly reactionaries.

          Philosophy underlies values, and values underlie politics. Something on top can run the other direction, but it will eventually be steered by the current. This cannot be stopped, only delayed.

          Also because of how I've made connections in 5+ years of organizing in radical scenes, most of my friends are radicals.

          Most people are primed against communism, where even if they would support it if you described it without labels, as soon as they see the label they'll bail on it. So, maybe talk about equality and affinity and solidarity and altruism and realizing human potential, in broader terms. That's probably what Che would do.

    • QueerCommie [she/her, fae/faer]
      ·
      9 months ago

      On the one hand I peaked emotionally during the pandemic when I was not yet a teen or Marxist. On the other hand I understand the world a whole lot more and what needs to be done. You should see how people feel that care and know a lot about the environment but don’t understand capitalism.

      • ashinadash [she/her]
        ·
        9 months ago

        You're so young lol

        I used to be kinda like that. Since my teens I'd been drifting further and further left in terms of political position, sans any theory or material understanding. It was frustrating not understanding much, yes, but now with glasses-on I'm like, Wow! Everything is horrible all the time!