• GhostofKiev [none/use name]
    ·
    edit-2
    3 years ago

    Soldiers amongst themselves: "Because of him, we have a lot of things, like Pizza Hut"

  • Rojo27 [he/him]
    ·
    edit-2
    3 years ago

    So I took the biggest spoon in the world and ate all the food. And then I told the poors there's gonna be a food shortage because of Putin. They believed me:biden-leftist:

  • buh [she/her]
    ·
    3 years ago

    listen fat, you can't outpizza the, you know... the place!

  • happybadger [he/him]
    ·
    3 years ago

    Those poor schmucks. That guy behind Biden is either a regular sergeant major or a command sergeant major, the most senior enlisted guy in the unit and usually the biggest hardass. While he appears to be smiling, he's actually analysing each guy there for the smallest fuckup in front of a VIP. Whoever that person is, they're gon' learn to-day.

    I couldn't stand being around command masterchiefs in the Navy. Only one of them was a normal person. The others were careerist freaks who treated naval culture like a cult and looked for any way to mess with junior enlisted.

      • happybadger [he/him]
        ·
        3 years ago

        So much worse than the chief's mess in general. Once they see themselves as having the co-equal power of a captain, much less an admiral once they get to the fleet level, it goes to their head. They're not just the HM1 who gets a chief's pension after 19 years of failing to promote. They're not even the backstabbing chief trying to make senior. The proudest moment of my short career was pulling a patient off the Bonhomme Richard under positional authority against the demands of both its CO and CMC. Legally as medical they couldn't do anything because I could theoretically call the admiral in charge of Navy Medicine who underwrites my orders, but they were setting sail in two hours and needed him. He just returned too drunk and I thought he met the threshold for poisoning, just enough to wave my E-3 dick around an entire ship.

        • DickFuckarelli [he/him]
          ·
          3 years ago

          o7 o7 o7 fuck yeah.

          I don't have any cool stories but the fucknut CMC on my cruiser tried to tell me the safety of the ship was more important than my family or my own person. I looked at him and said, agree to disagree.

          He was a complete prick to me for 2 years on.

          • happybadger [he/him]
            ·
            3 years ago

            Executive decisions like that are why the Bonhomme Richard was later torched along with that submarine. Burn 'em all down and maybe we'll have enough money for safe bridges.

            • DickFuckarelli [he/him]
              ·
              3 years ago

              Preach it. The navy is the epitome of waste.

              Ohhhh fuck I just remembered the next CMC and fuck do I have a story though it would be self identifying so I'm not going to go into detail. He effectively conducted his own Captains Mast on me. And I did nothing wrong. When he realized he basically punished me (illegal) and I did nothing wrong (bad optics) he pulled me aside and apologized with the worst fake apology of all time. Lucky for him I was set to transfer in 3 days and was in a zero fucks mood so I just told him to leave me the fuck alone and I'll forget about it.

    • blobjim [he/him]
      ·
      edit-2
      3 years ago

      How much of the US military is people who just revere power when it comes down to it, versus being an ideologically committed fascist type?

  • UlyssesT
    ·
    edit-2
    16 days ago

    deleted by creator

  • Alaskaball [comrade/them]A
    ·
    3 years ago

    Are those pickled jalapeños on his pizza? It shows his presidential presidentialness by the fact that he can show the world he can take the heat

    • InevitableSwing [none/use name]
      hexagon
      ·
      3 years ago

      he can show the world he can take the heat

      We'll know if Thomas Friedman hangs out at Hexbear to steal material because he'll use that in his next column.

      Mr. Friedman, sir - no disrespect - but you're not very smart. And even though I've mentioned that and I'm making fun of you right now - you must focus and remember that we are not the droids you are looking for...

  • MikhailGorbachev [he/him]
    ·
    3 years ago

    "Sometimes, nothing brings people together better than a nice hot pizza from Pizza Hut."

    :07:

  • D61 [any]
    ·
    3 years ago

    Yeltsin and the Boys