Hold a referendum between all the countries colonised or imperialised by Britain and refer to it as Brexit 2.0 first, just to rub salt in the wound.
It is not enough to see our enemies destroyed but they must be humiliated as well.
It'd be a bad idea for maintaining my ability to live and breathe.
bioengineer a fungus that can digest plastic and seed the Pacific with it
This is a good one because the most likely outcome of this is that the fungus spreads to all plastics, not just the waste in the ocean, and soon your household items are getting eaten.
lots of medical implants are made of plastic. A great number of medical equipment is also made of plastic. Plastic is used ib critical components in everything from airplanes to powerplants. There's not a lot of things that have the same durability, flexibility, and weight as plastic.
It would really suck if all plastic actually degraded. A better solution imo is to just stop using it for packaging. It's only marginally more expensive to replace it with wax coated paper in the vast majority of cases.
this is cool until you realize humans have a non negligible amount of plastic in their lungs and will get some sort of crazy fungal disease in the lung as a result
Pumping enormous state resources into breaking every record in the Guiness book of world records by such a large margin that they are forever out of reach for any non-state actors. Just draft 100 000 people to break the record for baking the world's biggest cinnamon bun. Pour all of our medical resources into surgically making some CEO 5 meters tall just so it is obvious that the record will never ever be broken again and they eventually have to stop publishing new editions.
We can not allow a cinnamon bun gap to develop between us and Nigeria. If I'm elected I will provide a tax credit for all bakers who contribute to making a bigger bun than our enemies.
atomizing a ceo and lining them all up side by side to make him as tall as possible
This is mine. I'd have all the kids learn both spoken toki pona and the corresponding sign language. It'd rapidly diverge from the canonical version in real world use, and it's more entertaining than strictly practical, but I just think it'd be neat. And it really wouldn't take much time investment to do.
Mia vera amo, la lingvo de la mondo, Esperanto havos ĝia tago! Al la fina venko!
what's wrong with english
the british have been (and will continue to be) so humiliated that there's no reason to even be ashamed of it
Chauvinism. The world language should be derived from languages across the world, not just Indo-European ones (looking at you Esperanto!)
yea but there is no such conlang around today
I think it's better to adopt english and have a large decolonial movement that sets up a parallel Wikipedia where plants and animals and everything else are named after their actual native names instead of "lord smittlington's small pepper"
I said english was good because esperanto is no better, and everyone already speaks english
IRL Moria. Just make a big fucking dwarven keep IRL in the cascades or the himilayas or norway or literally anywhere idc. Carve a massive stone complex into the side of a mountain, dammit
BORN UNDERGROUND
SUCKLED FROM THE TEAT OF STONE
RAISE IN THE DARK
THE SAFETY OF A MOUNTAIN HOME
SKIN MADE OF IRON
STEEL IN THE BONES
MY FATHER WAS A PEACEFUL MAN
NEVER TESTED HIS WEAK, COPPER COURAGE
BUT I'M UNBURDENED UNDER STEEL AND STONE
CHAMPIONS ARE REWARDED BY FORTUNE!
This one, maybe actually a good idea depending on how catastrophic climate change will be.
Easier than going to Mars
All right! On this note.
I'm dismantling all of the world's urban cities, residential neighborhoods, roads, and other global city infrastructure. The world will undergo a Global Grassification effort for all previous cities, suburban areas, and otherwise abandoned countryside, and so on, to be covered in rolling, green hills.
Everyone will now live in Global State provided Hobbit Holes, receive two (2) barrels of pipe weed per home, and one (1) livestock animal along with ten (10) seeds to start a small garden [conscientious objectors to the livestock animal, such as vegans, shall instead be entitled to receive double their allotment of pipe weed and seeds] in order to live a rural Hobbit lifestyle. Hobbit towns will have and only allowed to build one (1) public square for gathering as well as trading, one (1) designated area for festivals and public celebrations, one (1) school with kindergarten to postgraduate education, one (1) town library, one (1) medical clinic with free care, and two (2) pubs. Let's all have peace and quiet.
Any disturbers of peace and quiet shall be summarily executed by the Global Hobbit State.
Fascist Hobbits was one of the wildest things MtG ever conjured up.
So the kithkin (basically hobbits) in the Lorewynn have a borderline gestalt conciousness. It mostly helped them to watch each other's backs and stick together comfily in little hamlets. When the events of Shadowmoor happen and everything gets scary and weird, they got super paranoid, resulting in these hamlets turning into military states.
oh hell naw i am not about to shave off my beard longer than i am just to live in a "hole" instead of "glorious stone keep kept for several ages by uncountable ancestors"
Beards and other forms of dress or appearance are welcome and shall not be discriminated against.
Otherwise, do not make me tap the sign.
All disturbers of peace and quiet shall be summarily executed by the Global Hobbit State.
When I was a kid I had the bright idea during a daydream that if I were to officially acquire Antarctica as territory, either as part of my current country or as a brand new country, I could make the claim that air pollution from other wealthy nations is causing me to lose territory (glaciers melting from climate change). Then, I can fight back against other countries for their inaction towards climate change.
Other idea, build massive communities under the ice and snow in Antarctica, utilizing primarily wind energy above the surface for electricity.
A rail that runs from South Africa to Chile across the Bering Strait and the Darien Gap
Bridging the Darien Gap would involve cutting a path through the middle of a rainforest. It would be quite bad for the forest.
Running a rail over the Bering Strait would be a pain to maintain, and a genuine disaster if something goes wrong.
Yeah, any megaproject that involves cutting through one of the most biodiverse ecosystems on earth is a very bad idea. It would be dope, but overall bad idea.
A 10,000 year breeding program to create the Kwizatch Haderatch.
My idea is to create a breed of dog that can climb trees. I have no answer for why or how.
I would like to diminish the cat/dog skills gap. Cats could be bred to be much larger and their addiction to the scourge of catnip removed, allowing them to flourish. And make it so their natural predator instincts are only aimed at invasive species.
Providing arsenals of nuclear ICBMs to every country so the world can go completely MAD.
Honestly it would probably end in unmitigated disaster but goddamn would we see an end to war and put imperialism on the permanent back foot if it happened.
They did this in my model UN in high school and then voted down my proposal as Nigeria to better protect endangered languages. I was so mad.
fuck i shouldve done nuclear blackmail to get mine passed. you are so right
Call it the nuclear proloferation treaty. And after the initial transfer of icbms give a solid aid, and anti glibal warming pakage for building nuclear and space industries incluiding training funding universities, relevant factories. Inclufe bligations that once your coutry reaches maturity in these industries it has to help others and join in reasearch with other members.
I'm down but I'd want it to be named the Barack Obamna Memorial International Nuclear Proliferation Treaty to stick it to him and his absurd Nobel Prize victory.
Sort of how we should name one of the orion ships the comodore peary, because its use is to open the west to trade, get rid of sancions.
Trains. Everywhere.
I'm talking a dedicated line from your front door to every one of your friends.
And not just high speed trains either. Themed old timey steam engines for local transportation.
There's a depression in the middle of Australia that's lower than sea level. If we just built the right canal, we could change the climate and ecology of what is currently Central Australia by a wild degree.
With catastrophic effects on climate elsewhere, of course. Like how Greening the Sahara would kill the Amazon because the amazon is fertilised by saharan dust.
Absolutely. I am super curious tho
(wait, the Sahara isn't in Australia? What's the knock on effect?)
The Sahara winds whip up fine desert dust into the upper atmosphere, it floats on the jet stream to the Amazon and fertilizes it with nutrients the rainforest would otherwise deplete.
I posit turning Lake Eyre into a sea would have similar effects.
Nuking Australia to make a big river and irrigate the middle part of the island is one that I've always liked despite being a disaster of an idea.
Vending machine economy.
Turn stores into giant vending machines. Turn restaurants into automats. Public vending machines with basic human things in them like toilet paper, instant coffee, OTC medicines, first aid, etc. We would create virtually indestructible vending machines and mechanisms. Vending machines and the products inside would use local branding. You would also have exclusive treats that reflect a local culture. Also, no currency to use them, just biometrics.
wholesale store that sells vending machines in one big vending machine
Project Orion
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_Orion_(nuclear_propulsion)
I like the version where they put a multi gigaton nuke as the payload. That way we can send it off to England and kill two birds with one stone
i am a shame to those who came before me
