Pick the one that you think will sound the most impressive to people you're interested in having sex with
Pick literally any martial art but tell Republicans it's Russian Sambo and tell Democrats it's Ukrainian Kempo
The gym you're studying at matters way more than the martial art itself, except for a handful of martial arts that are consistent stinkers. Go to the gyms and see what they're doing, and ask what sort of training they do.
What's right for you depends on what you're looking for. I'm going to assume that's self defense because that's usually the subtext of these sorts of questions, but if you want to look cool you should look for people who look cool doing their thing, if you want to get in shape you should look for people who look sweaty and exhausted, if you want a competitive sport you should look for what competitions they compete in, etc.
For self defense, the things to look for are:
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Do they spar? Giant red flag if they do not (no useful practice, no way to confirm anything works, always bullshit). Never listen to people who have secret techniques too deadly to use in sparring, or whatever the fuck excuse.
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How long do you train before you start sparring? If it's not a couple of weeks, that's also a giant red flag, this time because they're being insane and reckless with safety. But if it's a really long time, that gets back into the bullshit angle (all the initiates are going to pretend the bullshit works because they've studied it for two years before finally getting to try).
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Are the beginners practicing footwork and spacing? They really should be.
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Are they talking about magic? If somebody mentions pressure points, ask what that means, and if it's something about meridians, walk away (people referring to actual anatomy as pressure points is common enough that you can't just ignore anyone who says it, though).
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Does the fundamental plan behind the art make sense? "Hit them in the face until they go away or fall over" makes sense. "Know enough about leverage to throw people on the ground" makes sense. "Hit them with a dizzying array of light but fast blows" does not make sense - speed and power are the same thing. "Grab their wrist and put it in an awkward position" does not make sense - they've got a spare hand to hit you with.
would add to your wrist comment: if they show any training involving knife disarming like this that's a hella red flag.
As they say - the loser of a knife fight bleeds out in the street, the winner of a knife fight bleeds out in an ambulance.
If someone pulls a knife on you, you should run away. And if that's not an option, you should hit them with a chair or something.
Fiore's dagger sections show a lot of disarms involving twisting the wrist. But to be fair:
- Most of them also involve throwing the dagger guy to the ground.
- It's a totally different cultural context focused on much longer knives than are common today.
They're a part of Chinese traditional medicine. But yes, they show up in Wuxia bullshit.
I think this comes back to Owl's “Know enough about leverage to throw people on the ground.” Holding someone in an awkward spot won't be helpful unless you're immediately using that leverage.
i’d rather punch someone tho
This is the way.
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Focus on finding a gym you can get to regularly with a community you feel comfortable around. That's the most important thing.
Literally all depends on what you're wanting from it and where you live. If you're wanting suggestions I'd say Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is always a solid choice for the blend of self-defence, exercise, proprioception, as well as its actual availability
I use my hanwei forge replica katana to cut your bullets in half.
You watch the movie kickboxer and pick the one you think is coolest.
Edit: jokes aside, owls post is unironically the best answer. If you want to learn a particular martial art style for tradition/cultural reasons that's one thing, but basically the reason Bruce Lee is a hero to a lot of people is he was one of the people saying "the emperor is naked" and that 'styles' get too bogged down in tradition and doing things a certain way regardless of what's viable or practical in actual combat.
I want to learn Sanshou for this exact reason-it looks cool. That, and I think learning how to fight is just pretty important in general.
If OP wants to be able to punch really well, boxing would do just fine. Punch and kick? Kickboxing (or Muay Thai, MMA, Sanshou, and probably plenty of others). I know less about grappling and wrestling, but there are plenty of Judo and Greco-Roman wrestling clubs around, which would probably make you a better fighter than most people you encounter on the street.
I've always wanted to learn one for self defense purposes but I've heard people saying there's not much point and it's best instead to just avoid dangerous situations
Unironically, Krav Maga is great for self defense, because it's like regular martial arts, except you are encouraged to kick people in the balls and to poke them in the eyes. Might be hard to find a teacher that isn't a psycho though, given that it seems to only be taught by former IDF soldiers with some seriously bad opinions, which they freely share.
I’ve always wanted to learn one for self defense purposes but I’ve heard people saying there’s not much point and it’s best instead to just avoid dangerous situations
I wouldn't say its pointless but whatever the practical benefits in a fight are: at the end of the day it should be stressed that no amount of training makes you a super hero.
One of my favorite lines from an interview I read years ago was asking some self defense expert what his favorite technique was for dealing with multiple attackers in a street fight situation. His response was "my 9mm I carry with me". There are tons of stories you can find with a google search of MMA fighters who were either killed or seriously injured because the other guy had a knife on him.
it's pretty good exercise though at worst you'll get a workout
It depends on why you want to learn the martial art, how long you're willing to spend on it, and what's in your area.
The big one is why you want to learn. Do you want to defend yourself if you get jumped? Do you want to have CQC training as a surprise tool that will help us later? Do you want to do competitions as a challenge? Are you looking to take on a more intricate, complicated martial art that focuses on the art itself over martial applications? Do you want a little of each?
The two martial arts you want to learn are MMA and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. MMA for when you're on your feet, BJJ for when you're fighting on the ground. You can also try boxing. Good boxing fundamentals are pretty useful, but it's not as versatile as MMA.
what if I want to learn and practice boxing without suffering any brain injuries?
You choose the one that isn’t a McDojo where the spectacle is prioritized
If they add extra colors of belt so you have to pay for more tests, there's a red flag...
Look for reviews. Ask around in the community. Check Bullshido to see if they're mentioned there. Traditionally you'd challenge the dojo and fight a series of bouts with students.
I don’t have a systemic way of making sure, but when I checked out a local dojo the guy was more interested in showing people how to be flashy and also handing out belts like candy until you reached the higher tier, then suddenly you stagnate arbitrarily and have to pay for more lessons
Depends on what you need. Fitness and wellness? Self defense? Becoming a Hollywood martial arts star?
Do you want to compete? Would you prefer an increased risk of concussion or skin disease? What gyms do you have near your house?
Wait skin disease? Like staph from other people you train with and the mats?
Staph, ring worm, all that jazz. Grappling arts can be really gross so you have to be diligent with the personal hygiene
When I learned TaeKwonDo they told us not to go for the head as it's a hard target (as in the skull is pretty hard) and you can hurt someone pretty bad by hitting areas like the groin or stomach anyway
Step 1: Find the Mortal Combat fighter select screen.
Step 2: Assign martial arts disciplines to each character.
Step 3: Select "Random"
Step 4: (Learn to) FIGHT!
You watch Fist of the North Star and Baki the Grappler and then learn vicariously through them and never fight anybody in real life but still comment condescendingly on professional fights with unearned confidence
