Long story short, my GF is from a race that my bigot father has told me horrible racist shit about for years, just boilerplate Fox News-level analysis of why to hate and fear X race. They met for the first time, and after she left I told him I was uncomfortable introducing them bc of his bigotry. He got all, "I'm not looking at her as X, I'm looking at her as your girlfriend", but I was like "I don't fucking care how you want to justify it, you're a racist bigot and all you're capable of doing is repeating whatever fascist ideology you watch on TV. It doesn't make me feel any better that you think she's 'one of the good ones.'" Then I left.
I've thought that for a long time, finally said it, but I feel horrible about it - it doesn't exactly make me feel good to make an old man feel angry and sad. But at the end of the day it's his own god damn fault for subjecting me to bigoted ideology for decades.
just had to vent a lil bit thanks comrades :meow-hug:
For what it's worth, you did the right thing - even though it was no doubt deeply uncomfortable for you.
Bigots should be made to feel bad about their opinions. Without any level of real control over society, it's just about our only recourse. And, hell, you never know, maybe he'll reflect on what you said and start to change.
I’m glad you stood up for her and yourself.
It’s not easy to stand up to family and it’s especially not easy to face those who follow such a hateful, evil ideology. Doubly so when it’s a combination of both.
Honest communication with family members is important and, ultimately, respectful - even if it's about an element of their behaviour that you don't respect.
Nice work comrade :sankara-salute:
I remember hearing Dan Savage talk about the tremendous power adult children have over their parents, because most parents ultimately want to spend time with their children and grandchildren. If they perceive that their access to children and grandchildren is under threat, that can be leveraged to make parents smarten the fuck up.
I've veered close to this discussion with my own family members...
The only way I can get them to dial back the bigotry is to point out that everything on TV is bullshit propagated to divide the common people. That can get through to them. Unfortunately, if they just slink off to watch the news after that your progress gets eroded within a week and they are back at it.
Yeah this is good analysis comrade. The environment certainly determines the mentalities we encounter.
it doesn’t exactly make me feel good to make an old man feel angry and sad.
You did the right thing. It's his responsibility as a father to set the example for you. If he sets the wrong example, that authority is bullshit and should be corrected. My parents will only ever get the respect they earn and none for arbitrarily cumming to make me.
i think you did the right thing of course, but its also totally valid to feel bad about being so harsh. i obviously don't know what your relationship with your dad has been like bigotry aside but most of us are really thoroughly conditioned to care a lot about our parents feelings. i wouldnt say this is some devious brain poison but it sure is inconvenient in situations like this. so i guess make sure you don't like, judge yourself for feeling conflicted about this. it's not easy to call people out like that so we're all proud of you for doing it. more people need to be able to.
yeah a lot of the time parents are just people who care about you and obviously the social bonds that tie you to them are good.
It's when parents are abusive that this becomes bad
Awesome job, comrade :fidel-salute: . Western culture forces people to think family means ignoring the horrible red flags of family members and that one should respect their elders, nah fam you gotta earn that respect and love. So more or less anymore communication with your father should exactly be what you just did, you don't need to have someone that respects and loves the propaganda news over the happiness of family.
:07: it's takes guts to do something good, and what you did was very good.
Hey good job standing up to him. People like that, especially ones that raised you, can be hard to confront. I'm sure it wasn't easy :meow-hug:
