It's that time again! A day early, but just wanted to check in and see how everyone is doing! Anything cool or exciting going on the past week you wanna talk about? Anything got you down? This is the spot, good or bad.
Remember you are loved :stalin-heart:
For my own part, been feeling pretty good lately! I'm getting better about not sitting around and zoning out as much, and we added an extra tour date or two so now we'll be on the road for 16 straight days! I have some thoughts about being gone for so long (nothing bad, just pup related thoughts), but I'm beyond thrilled to be hitting the road like this again! Beyond that, really enjoying Psychonauts 2, and have been getting REALLY into ghost stories and creepy paranormal shows and stuff the past week or two. That's all for now! Hope you're all well!
I'm on week 6 of HRT. Can't help but smile when I see how long my hair is in the mirror. I did a full workout last night and then we went for a walk with ze dogs. It's wild how much a miniscule amount of exercise can help with my energy levels and mood.
Also the entire republican party is calling for the FBI to be defunded, so that's cool too!
THATS FANTASTIC! CONGRATS! Thanks for sharing your awesome news, v happy for you!
Thank you, I'm very happy for me too, which is a new feeling for me
:cat-trans:
The good: the third novel in my trilogy is in its final form and the test copy is coming to my door in a day or two for me to do final appraisal of how it came out before release.
The bad: despair. I experience a lot of "what is the point of it all" ennui because the planet's on fire, the burn rate is only accelerating, and performative greenwashing theater continues and most people seem to be buying into it because it's too scary to believe otherwise. Also suffering persistent but decline-to-state-specifics personal problems that are small on their own but there's enough of them to be distracting and exhausting when taken together. It's hard to center myself or do mindfulness(tm) when so many pending issues persist.
I don't have any wise words, other than to offer support and solidarity. That said, CONGRATS ON THE NOVEL!
Thank you.
It's a labor of love, but it'd be nice to see such labors pay off someday, without being some SEOmaxxing poggers influencer on a sigma grindset arc selling a 24/7 narcissistic facade of exciting noise and insincere parasocial bonds with credulous subscribers. I just write books. :doomer:
Same. I'm not great at doing promo for my music, I just make posts on a couple different spots when we have something to talk about. How long did it take to finish the trilogy?
Each book took roughly a year from start to finish, and I started writing the first in late 2019 for 2020 release.
I put a lot more effort into them than I would have probably agreed to if I had just started and could look forward and see what it took, but it's done. The next novel I have in mind will have a completely different setting, atmosphere, mood, and plot to it, but I think it will keep me sane to not have a trilogy pre-planned for it.
Most people that I've shown the books have had positive reception, but the challenge (frustratingly so) is getting enough people to try them, or for that matter to leave reviews so there's at least some chance of others seeing them from the almighty algorithm.
As it stands, because I'm not an influencer, and because I wrote something that didn't tidily fit into the "my boyfriend is a billionaire werewolf Navy SEAL" or "steely-eyed middle-aged military tryhard makes the prospective feeemale waifus with important patrilineal legacies remember their daddy issues while he does war crimes to stick it to those stuffy politicians and/or bureaucrats that tried to prevent him from 'completing the mission'" dichotomies of SEO-maximizing pandering literature, it's an uphill fight and I'm tired.
Eh, if you don't need anything that is still packed, don't stress. Glad to hear you're doing well! Good luck on the job hunt! It's fucking rough out there. It took me 2 years of constantly searching and interviewing to land the place I'm at now, and before that it was 3 years.
Not as good as I could be; buying a house is very very stressful, even though my partner is a highly paid techie from a well to do family. Real first world problems hours, I know, but the stress is real.
Friend of mine is going through the same thing. Congrats on the house, and good luck!
A few months ago I shaved my face for the first time in years. My friend told me I should let the beard grow back so I did. I've gotten a few compliments despite it being patchy and scraggly. I guess it's better looking than my face though.
That's not what's particularly been eating at me, but it's a good representation of how things have been going lately.
I hate wageslaving so much, so fucking much. I work a bullshit government job but it's fucking stressful and my boss is such an annoying stickler for "quality" such that I can't go on autopilot to get through the day. No, I have to bust my ass to produce "quality" bullshit documents while under the yoke of a stressful quota. To escape, I've thought about going to law school to be a public defender as to do something which effects a modicum of meaningful change to the underclassmen living in abject povety and misery. However, I'm pretty sure I'd quickly get burnt out and regret wasting my life/money on law school. Moreover, I think that being a public defender would only serve to legitimize the racist, classist, and abhorent American justice system; the only thing that'll "solve" this system is a complete rehaul through a massive revolution. Fat chance of that ever happening in my lifetime... Honestly, I don't see any practical escape from this misery except suicide or doing something ridiculous like becoming a buddhist monk. I don't know how much of this exploitation I can take any longer...
As a matter of fact, I've read/consumed so much stuff on pessimism, absurdism, existensialism, buddhism, taoism, and antinatalism to the point that I see no point to life and my depression waves are cresting higher and higher each week. And this is all in the light that I think I have a "good" life: I have money, my own apartment, have hobbies that alleviate my suffering, have a gf, am healthy, exercise regularly, don't read the news that much, etc. But in spite of all that, there is this shroud of despair that follows me around everywhere; a lingering thought that wonders what's the point of all this suffering if I'm going to die anyways? We're all on Death Row, yet we suffer and toil endlessly just so we can postpone our execution date. Life is already suffering, so why does it have to be this fucking bad? I'm just so tired of it all...
I've been there. For the most part, I'm still there. What keeps me going most weeks is entertaining others. My weekend tabletop group usually gives me something to look forward to and for the most part mitigates the existential dread away.
Sometimes I ask myself if I should have "learned to code" or otherwise crushed myself, regardless of what I enjoy and what I'm good at, to fit :porky-happy: 's expectations and thus get paid enough for it to get enough treats to suppress the consequent suffering it would continually take to keep meeting :porky-happy: 's expectations, and in that way probably become a militant treat defender because it really would seem like a threat to my suffering mitigation if someone criticized the mitigation products I purchased, I suppose. :doomer:
Been like a month since I've posted or done more then a cursory glance at the news, I've been touching a lot of grass. I'm honestly less angry about life however my revolutionary fervour has also died down. I kinda just want to stay checked out.
I got into an argument with some other leftist and and got called out for being "the one true leftist." Decided maybe I should take a break. Even just playing mobile games it's a good alternative to doom scrolling if you're stuck at work or something.
Are you the one true leftist? It'd suck to only have liberals around here. :side-eye-1: :side-eye-2:
Of course I am, just needed to take a break from bragging about it.
Hell yeah! I've been working out too, getting consistent about running over here. Congrats on learning Chinese!
As far as your relationship goes, good luck! Definitely talk to your partner if you think its a good move, and can never hurt to talk to a therapist!
:meow-hug:
I'm poly and bi in a straight (semi) monogamous marriage. Been together for nearly 12 years, over the past two years things have started to get difficult. Not saying don't be with someone you love but be prepared for shit to get rough down the road. Best of luck.
She's bi too so one of the things we've been talking about is opening up a little in that direction. She's got some issues that that might prevent that though. However you guys seem to be on the same wave length so if monogamy don't work you can always discuss it again later.
Just a bit worried because my job wont last me forever and I will have to look for a new job. Problem is I actually like my current gig since its pretty chill and laid back.
Went to vegan festival - it was alright, though a little too corporate for my tastes. Wish they had more community-led stuff and a bit more to do (workshops, lawn games, whatever). On the plus side it was incredibly diverse.
I've been having waves of collapse brain that are getting stronger. They ruined the second half of my workday today. Work was fun to start, but when your heart is not in it - even against it - it's very hard to stay motivated. Today I ended up searching up foraging information when I just couldn't make myself focus.
My sister brought it up recently and is on the exact same page, including some of our longer-term strategies/ideas (#blessed to have access to land) which really feels good. I also unloaded on one of my partners, who is sympathetic to the perspective, but I'm terrified to drag her down into this mind-trench. At the same time, now that we own a mobile living space together, we need to be able to coordinate and I don't want her to sleepwalk off the cliff.
It's ruining my reward system. I quit coffee recently, but weed and alcohol feel harder to stay away from and I have rapidly worsening scrolling habits. The thought of the next party/festival leaves me irrationally gleeful.
I'm normally very bloomer, and I'm sure that'll come back in waves as well. Quitting :reddit-logo: and news in general would probably help, seeing how incredibly negative it's gotten, but I want to stay aware.
Talked to a therapist who seems cool last week, have felt pretty good since then. My family basically wants me in therapy because they think it’ll make me back into a lib. And the thing is...just being able to shoot the shit for an hour with someone who’s being paid to listen is so immensely helpful that I feel two things: one, it isn’t fair because other people need this way more than me (I can more or less function in everyday society); two, I feel like I don’t need it anymore, like I’m telling myself I feel good and don’t need therapy so I can avoid exploring the depths of my psyche...or something.
Basically this all started because my spouse and parents are libs and we sometimes have pretty crazy fights about politics. For reference, I’m in my thirties. We also didn’t have these fights until Biden won the primary. Until then I thought we were all on pretty much the same page, but my family makes excuses for Biden while I don’t.
Gla you have someone to talk to! It can never hurt. Sucks about your family tho. Keep fighting the good fight :stalin-heart:
i've been struggling w my mental health the past few months, but it's also because my trajectory is getting better? like the days are steadily getting better, and i'm doing a (slightly) better job of asking for help when i need. it's just that everything piles up so fast and i get dragged back down for days at a time when left alone, even though i know i'm loved and make a difference in people's lives.
At least its something you're conscious of. Sending the best :meow-hug:
Playing an old Steam game "Space Pirates versus Zombies (and Bounty Hunters)" and with the exception of a major game mechanic pretty much being "intergallactic slave trade" its pretty good time waster.
Second interview happened today for the job where the manager I had interviewed with a few weeks ago couldn't remember interviewing me. Different interviewer, same "good vibes" and its a position that needs a body in it, but a fair bit of waffling about when a decision is going to be made one way or the other. (Really crossing my fingers for a round trip commute of like 30 minutes instead of the typical 2 hours.)
love to reduce my humanity to a list of reasons I can make some rich pig a bunch of profits
