It’s weird because I’ve known I was trans for several years now yet I still feel like I’m discovering things about myself. Like I just had the realization that I generally try to spend as little time in front of the mirror as possible (outside of the times I’m trying to do some fashion stuff) and when I do look in the mirror I very often feel like I’m looking at a stranger. I don’t dislike how this stranger looks nor do I have any visceral reaction towards them but they aren’t exactly me. I feel like I generally don’t think much about this sense of depersonalization because I unconsciously spend a lot of energy trying to bury it, hence why I just realized that I’m not a fan of mirrors. There seems to be this engine that runs in my brain that constantly works to shield me from feeling acutely dysphoric, which on the one hand I appreciate but on the other hand it probably has burned a ton of calories on essentially nothing productive haha.
Oh yeah me too, I never looked in the mirror since about puberty to one year on hrt lol. Same with videos and pictures. Couldn't have told you why before my egg cracked
It’s weird because I’ve known I was trans for several years now yet I still feel like I’m discovering things about myself. Like I just had the realization that I generally try to spend as little time in front of the mirror as possible (outside of the times I’m trying to do some fashion stuff) and when I do look in the mirror I very often feel like I’m looking at a stranger. I don’t dislike how this stranger looks nor do I have any visceral reaction towards them but they aren’t exactly me. I feel like I generally don’t think much about this sense of depersonalization because I unconsciously spend a lot of energy trying to bury it, hence why I just realized that I’m not a fan of mirrors. There seems to be this engine that runs in my brain that constantly works to shield me from feeling acutely dysphoric, which on the one hand I appreciate but on the other hand it probably has burned a ton of calories on essentially nothing productive haha.
Oh yeah me too, I never looked in the mirror since about puberty to one year on hrt lol. Same with videos and pictures. Couldn't have told you why before my egg cracked
I didn't realize how much I avoided mirrors until after thinking I didn't really experience much dysphoria. Brains are incredible sometimes....