Every single modern country song made after 9/11. My coworkers blast this garbage all day at work and I'm nearly ready to tear my own teeth out. They're all the same song. All of them. Preachy suburban anthems for whitey to feel good about himself. Kenny Chesney, Brooks & Dunn, Florida Georgia Line, Zack Brown Band, Alan Jackson, and my most hated of all: Luke Bryan.
Luke Bryan's song "Most People are Good" is the worst country song ever made. From the bleating vocals to the meandering chords, never have I heard a song that manages to be both boring and infuriating. The song might as well be entitled "Rich white man tries to say the bare minimum of nice things and still fucks it up." Some liberals got into the song briefly because there's a lyric "I believe you love who you love, ain't nothing to ever be ashamed of" which seems to be pro-LGBTQ, but like, it's the absolute bare minimum of acceptance. Also, most people are good? Well who's not good then Mr Luke Bryan? That's not addressed and it encourages the listener to plug in whatever nascent bigotries they might possess.
The song also tries to sneak in white American Christianity too, like all these country songs, but Mr Bryan even fucks that up too by engaging in blasphemy: "I believe them streets of gold, Are worth the work, But I'd still wanna go, Even if they were paved in dirt" He's suggesting that the Christian paradise could somehow be disappointing, even though all descriptions of it are a realm of unending bliss. Good job fucking up your own religion, man.
I hate these people so much.
Based entirely on vibes I think a sizeable chunk of American Christians believe if they get enough worship points they dont just get to go to heaven, they also get to prestige class up into becoming an angel too.
The Christian line is also heresy, especially for protestants. Grace not works.
IDK about "worst," because every objectively bad song I can think of was bad on purpose. But I have a special dislike for Rockstar by nickelback
yeah yeah I know the memes but I swear to god it was every other song on the radio when I was in high school, I didn't even hate it at first until it just ground my brain into dust
Maybe that Mariah Carey christmas song because I love christmas songs, but that one gets played the most despite sounding worse than the other versions
I have a photograph, would you mind looking at it?
Fuck that band though. I've never encountered a good person who likes them.
You know the shitty compilation CDs that would get really annoying TV commercials advertising them? I clearly remember one of those coming on prominently featuring Nickelback and my grandfather muting it with a scowl and saying it reminded him of Bach, adding "I never cared for Bach."
Every once in a while we encounter a take so bizarre it halts all thought. This a moment like that for me. Who doesn't like Bach? Why? I admire his conviction in his hatred for Bach transcending genre and leading to disdain for a butt-rock band though. Probably the first and last time Chode Kroeger has been compared to a classical composer though lmao.
That Kid Rock song that combines Warren Zevon's Werewolves of London and Lynyrd Skynyrd's Sweet Home Alabama and makes them both worse.
He rhymes "things" with "things" :stuff:
i gotta plug Pat Finnerty for the Youtube freaks on here
Blurred Lines is overwhelmingly early 2010s, has sex pesty lyrics, and was made by a sex pest as well. It could’ve been beaten by Baked Alaska’s We Love Our Cops, but that song has the same aura as the video of Gale Boetticher singing Major Tom lol
For the first month or two of Fun-We Are Young’s existence I thought it was a recently discovered or rediscovered Queen B-side or Deep Cut and whenever it came on the radio Id say “I see why this song didnt come out while Freddie was alive.”
Weird Al's parody, Word Crimes, is infinitely better and has zero sex-pestery
Oh yeah and even if the song wasn't filled with sexpest lyrics it would still be annoying to listen to.
That whiny song about asking some girl's dad if you can marry her, getting told no, and the response being "why you gotta be so rude"
It's a whole big pile of barf on top of a shitty gentrified reggae beat
Edit- it's called "rude" by a corporate-stock-art looking Canadian band called "Magic!"
oh fuck i remember when this song first became a big thing, that shit is reprehensibly awful
There are so many layers to how awful it is, it's an utterly irredeemable affront to humanity
cw/ chud, racism, etc
spoiler
Creed Fisher - If You Have a Right to Burn My Flag (Then I Have a Right to Kick Your Ass)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_Ug-yYpYG0
"Caress Me Down* by Sublime. I don't need to hear about premature ejaculation on the top 40 station.
cw: sexual violence
I love the vibe of the band but Date Rape and Wrong Way are very problematic too :what-the-hell:
FWIW Date R*pe is clearly against the practice. Wrong Way is a bit more muddled.
sublime sucks but the date rape song is unambiguously condemning the rapist.
I'd fight you dead but yeah they're just 3 white guys who listen to too much Bob Marley.
ha i honestly take it back. just too associated with my formitive "hot couch" experiences, which were pretty miserable.
The 1990s were a decade where you could still get rich doing… that. Glad we left.
OKAY but i actually like the real penis music
https://youtu.be/Ds14zhfHEvE
This is the 3rd time this week that song (which I've never heard of before) has come up in conversation LMAO
https://store.theonion.com/products/your-favorite-band-sucks-onion-headline-t-shirt
When I was in rehab and they used to drive us to AA meetings the driver would always have the butt rock station on and on loop I stg was "Lifetime" by Three Days Grace. That song has burnt a hate hole into my heart. I hate hate HATE that song.
Me about to listen to this song: "Hey Three Days Grace has had some good songs, this can't be that bad" :blob-no-thoughts:
Me listening to the song: :negative:
Riot is a banger. Everything about you is the perfect post breakup song. listens to lifetime What the fuck is that bullshit my life is made worse and my day is ruined. Thank you for sharing.
isn't that guy a nazi? still funny though, I'll never hear it the same way again lmao.
I think he has gamergate-y roots but mostly just makes funny videos. He definitely leans chuddy and I wouldn't be surprised if he was, but I hope he isn't.
It's all but confirmed. His discord livestreams go into his politics more and he did platform jontron...
funny guy, and he hides it better than most. a problematic fave if there ever was one (well, him and sseth but sseth has done a growth)
Rehab and the nightly van rides to AA meetings ruined so many songs for me. Basically anything that was on the radio between 2017-2018 is permanently associated with bad vibes.
I can't really think of the worst song I ever heard--it's like trying to name the best, I just can't do it. But. I did create a semi-socially embarrassing moment once over a bad song.
Last year, I was at a restaurant with a friend. We were in a patio area of the restaurant, and there weren't many people out there, so it wasn't hard to hear. There has been country music playing in the background. Now, this isn't my favorite genre, but I'm used to it and I typically wouldn't comment. But this fucking song comes on, and it's just the worst thing. The guy just sings "I got a new girlfriend" over and over AND OVER AND OVER. It wasn't bad in an interesting way--I think that was the worst part. It was bad and extremely boring. So finally I was just like, "this is awful. this is so bad, why do people listen to this? people listen to this on purpose, why do they do that? this is so bad this is so bad why do people like this???" And I didn't think I was talking loudly, but not long after, our waiter came to ask solicitously about whether we were liking the food, was everything OK, etc etc and then I remembered that someone was clearing off a table while I was losing my mind over country music and they probably could only hear enough to know that I was upset about something. So I had to shamefacedly admit to the teenage waiter that I was having a childish breakdown over the badness of a country song and that the food was wonderful and I wasn't mad about anything. Whoops!
