About a year ago I went to a convenience store by my house and on my way in a cop held the door open for me and said "There is a homeless guy inside, don't buy him anything when he asks you."

My response was "Okay." but my immediate thought was "don't fuckin' tell me what to do."

The guy came over while I was picking out some shit and asked me if I would buy him a six pack, I said "yeah I got you" and he comes up to the register with two six packs stacked on top of each other and a few other snacks and just gave me a look like "is this cool?"

I said yeah throw it up there, but we'd have to wait a bit for the cop to fuck off because he was just sitting outside in his cruiser and I didn't want him to hassle either one of us. So we just start bullshitting at the register.

I don't understand how this just isn't a win for everyone. I get a tiny piece of mind, the guy gets to eat, and the guy who owned the place made some extra cash. Don't ever tell me how to practice my morals fuck off cops.

Edit: I've gotten similar criticisms to your buying a coke criticism from people who've seen me buy alcohol for the homeless. Normally I'd never buy alcohol for someone struggling with addiction but in situations like this you have to think practically but not very hard. I am not a doctor. You cannot provide insulin, similarly I cannot make the assumption they are an alcoholic. I cannot provide a home, healthcare, or even work. What I can provide is calories. Who the fuck am I to decide how they get them? Fuck if I were in their shoes calories that also fuck me up is a win-win. A human asked for help, the tiniest modicum of help was provided. Simple as.

I've also once had a friend question my motives, suggesting that I only do it to "feel good." Motherfucker it makes me feel awful. I absolutely fucking hate the fact that I live in a world where now I have to constantly worry about this person. Now I'm thinking about what else I could of done, or wondering if they froze to death because they had to sleep outside. Sure, it makes me feel slightly better because the alternative was FUCKING SAYING NO. But what would that say about me? That certainly would not fucking make me feel good.

Edit edit: I do not regret how many times I used the word fuck.

That's a really strange interaction. Maybe it would have been better to directly ask the homeless guy to chime in on the diabetes thing (and maybe offer a different beverage if he actually had diabetes?), otherwise I'm at a loss as to how I might have handled the situation differently.

At the same time, if the guy actually had diabetes but still wanted the coke, it seems like it would be weirdly patronizing to insist on a healthier alternative for the guy who still has to live on the goddamn streets. Like "Oh, be devoid of basic necessities, but we can't let you have a soda because it would be bad for your health." I don't know.

idk if I'm just missing context but her behavior seems extremely weird and out of left field. why did she suddenly go off about "hipster bullshit" and say you were "making it political"? at what point was anyone talking about politics? that seems like a complete non-sequitur. I would be just as confused as you are tbh, but I don't think you did anything wrong. if she knows the guy and his issues then I'd get her being overprotective but it sounds like you don't know for sure.

maybe im just ethically lazy or something but im pretty firmly of the opinion that nobody fucking knows anything about anything and anybody who is at least trying to be decent is decent and shouldn't really worry too much about this sort of thing after the fact

asking K whether they knew J might have been a good thing to do, because if they actually know them and know they have diabetes and that they have a history of endangering themselves by chugging corn syrup then sure maybe you should listen to her. but regardless K is being a shithead with how they treat you, a complete stranger who is just trying to help

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i think you did fine you didn't blow your stack when this clown inserted themselves, got confrontational, and then tried to play it off as you not knowing they was "joking". i fuckin' hate that move. starting maybe 5 or so years ago, whenever some bozo tries to pull that line of "i was just joking!" to flip their fuck up onto me, i say, "oh, jokes should be funny." i laugh while i say it if i want to keep it light, and i say it deadpan if they're being a prick and i want them to get fucked.

personally, i don't take it well when a stranger talks down to me. i probably would have ceased speaking when they said "you don't know how to act" and just walked by them like they were some uninteresting furniture in the hopes they weren't going to escalate the conflict by stepping into my path while i am moving.

This woman might have been right about J being diabetic. Should I be looking out for that? Should I not buy sugary sodas for people who look like they might have it? I’ve always felt like I’ll just get people what they want. I’m not doing them any favors buying cigarettes either, but it’s none of my business.

I mean - as someone who is personally diabetic, I wouldn't be confirming the unhoused person who asked me for a cinnamon roll has enough insulin to cover the carbs for it or anything. Honestly if I were a homeless diabetic and someone pulled that shit on me like "oh you want a coke?? well you can't have that because it'll ruin your blood sugar, how about a water" I think I'd do a violence even if the person in question were my best friend.

imo you didn't do anything wrong at all and although the person confronting you may have been someone who actually knew the unhoused guy and was justifiably annoyed (in a weird, 'can't believe that dude wouldn't ask for his complete medical history before giving him that coke' way) I still don't think you did anything wrong.

Always better to help by fulfilling the person's actual request, regardless of if it may harm them in the long-run imo.

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Fuck that lady she’s not a doctor and it’s none of her business :shrug-outta-hecks:

It’s possible they know more about the locals around. Still, it’s very weird they act like this and expect you to know what the hell is going on lol

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You're overthinking it. You're at fucking work, this is above your pay grade. I'm legit friends with most of the homeless people in my town. Been there. Last place I lived was a sweet deal big place with 2 roommates one had been homeless for 20 years and the other did a 17 year stint for robbing banks, we had couches and people.could crash, but as far as I'd like to be sympathetic toenail health issues and homelessness or addiction that certainly didn't extend to fucking up our house or stealing from us when crashing there and usually being given a good feed and letting us get your drugs for you cause we had connections that didn't cut us off for being shitty. There are reasons people are fucked up but there are times you have to suspend that for your own safety and sometimes you just gott let what people say roll off your back.

I don't know what point they could've possible had. I don't understand why they inserted themselves like that

Eh? I feel there is a lack of j interaction. Lady k can patronize all she wants, you doing stuff for j, not her.

Sounds like mental illness, just give the person their coke and go about your day