Please somebody make a Discopost about this

  • UmbraVivi [he/him, she/her]
    ·
    edit-2
    6 months ago

    dubois-depressed — "And what's in that container over there? The brown one with a few too many edges."

    mega-rich-light-bending-guy — "Why that "container", detective, is my Tesla Cybertruck, of course! I suppose you don't see cars of this caliber around these parts very often? Just the other day I wrapped this beauty in Mirror Rose Gold and put matching 30 inch dual tone wheels on it, just as a little personal touch. Do you like it?"

    de-perception — The car's design is aggressively flawed, an affront not only to the eyes but also the art of engineering. The multitude of sharp edges around the vehicle's body and the inflexibility of the chosen materials are several disasters waiting to happen to anyone wealthy and foolish enough to get inside of one. Also, needless to say, its sheer hideousness cannot be overstated.

    de-conceptualization — It's an idiot's idea of the car of the future.

    dubois-depressed — "Well, it's certainly a... unique design."

    de-volition — Ask for the keys.

    dubois-depressed — The keys? I don't want to drive this thing. It looks kinda dangerous.

    de-inland-empire — But look at that coating. That fresh, radiant, glamorous Mirror Rose Gold coating. Do you not feel its seductive pull? Do you not hear its siren song? It yearns for us. It's begging for us to do what must be done. Just imagine the thousands upon thousands of Reál that were spent to apply these colors. Now imagine the satisfying scratching noise as you slowly tear through it like a hot knife through butter. Imagine the glee of unearthing the stainless steel underneath the paint. Imagine the possibilities.

    [Savoir Faire: Medium] Ask for the keys for the Mega Rich Light-Bending Guy's Cybertruck.

    de-dice-5 de-dice-5

    lt-dbyf-dubois — "Mind handing me the keys for this bad boy for a moment, mister?"

    mega-rich-light-bending-guy — "Oho, do I see love at first sight? Wanna take her for a ride, detective?"

    lt-dbyf-dubois [Drama: Success] — "Yeah."

  • culpritus [any]
    ·
    6 months ago

    Mirror rose gold so you can see the emptiness in your own eyes every time you approach the altar of worship. It’s the ark of the treat covenant.

  • happybadger [he/him]
    ·
    6 months ago

    bird-screm-2 breadpill

    this one neat trick cybertruck owners DON'T want you to know about

  • Chronicon [they/them]
    ·
    6 months ago

    I'm pretty sure I saw one of these shitboxes with a car cover over it outside a local apartment building recently.

      • Chronicon [they/them]
        ·
        6 months ago

        idk there's a certain kind of elon simp that I could see spending half their paycheck on the payments on one of these every month. But you're probably right. Just hard to imagine a landlord storing their cybertruck outside facing the street, not in a garage.

        • Assian_Candor [comrade/them]
          ·
          6 months ago

          Spending a down payment of a house on a bazinga mobile while continuing to rent would be sad on a whole new level

        • Wolfman86 [none/use name]
          ·
          6 months ago

          I saw a thread Thursday night from a person who works 60-70 hours a week, and normally buys 20+ year old cars talking about theirs, so yeah there definitely is.

  • Yor [she/her]
    ·
    6 months ago

    I'd like to have no thoughts about his ever again

  • Frank [he/him, he/him]
    ·
    6 months ago

    You're gonna have to gulag me for this but when they're wrapped i kind of like the look. The bare stainless just looks like shit but a camo wrap or something, idk, it shifts my perceptions. Someone should make a real car with an angular low-rez aesthetic.

    • Grandpa_garbagio [he/him]
      ·
      edit-2
      6 months ago

      Brave for telling the truth

      It's fucking hilarious they were unable to see that very easy fix for the vehicle and people would be less able to talk shit on it

      • Taster_Of_Treats [none/use name]
        ·
        edit-2
        6 months ago

        I still dislike it for the fact that it doesn't even try to absorb impacts and instead is as rigid as possible. The drivers are at risk in crashes but more importantly, any pedestrian, commuter, or other driver is at grave risk in an accident.

        It's a car for people who don't care about the well-being of others.

        The visual design is not even a little bit why I dislike the cyber truck.

        • Taster_Of_Treats [none/use name]
          ·
          edit-2
          6 months ago

          I hate Cadillacs for similar reasons btw. Same design principal. Although they actually protect the occupants a decent amount.

        • ProletarianDictator [none/use name]
          ·
          6 months ago

          This is exactly it. I lowkey fuck with the aesthetic, but its just an overpriced death trap for the least empathetic car brained douchebags.

    • BeamBrain [he/him]
      ·
      6 months ago

      Fitting, since it handles being exposed to water about as well as a Stunt Race FX cartridge

  • Owl [he/him]
    ·
    6 months ago

    Actually looks pretty cool in that color, except for the ugly ass wheels.

    Shame it's still a poorly constructed death trap, twice the weight and four times the price any truck needs to be, primarily marketed as a dick wagging extension for the most obnoxious people around.

    • Frank [he/him, he/him]
      ·
      6 months ago

      Yeah, i could fuck with something vaguely like this, like a more angular version of the smooth future pod cars in 90s sci fi, if it was a real car.

  • KnilAdlez [none/use name]
    ·
    6 months ago

    At first I thought it was a copper wrap and I thought it was kind of fun to make it look like a weaker and cheaper metal, but no. Much worse.

  • hex_work [none/use name]
    ·
    edit-2
    6 months ago

    Seems dangerous. Doesn't this make it easier for someone to run into you?

      • Grandpa_garbagio [he/him]
        ·
        6 months ago

        Yeah I immediately was curious if it's even legal lol. It seems like a huge liability for whoever put it on in any case