• GoebbelsDeezNuts [any]
    ·
    2 years ago

    I remember the one time I used Tinder I figured I'd just swipe right on anyone and everyone and see what happened. I figured I can't afford to be picky or whatever and that's not fun anyway let's see what happens. I probably swiped hundreds of times, and only ever got like 3 or 4 matches. At least 1 of which was not a human.

    I did match with one woman who told me she as a communist, and we talked for a while and then she just stopped responding. :deeper-sadness:

    • ZoomeristLeninist [they/them, she/her]M
      ·
      2 years ago

      dating apps have an ELO-like ranking system. if someone swipes right on you, ur ranking goes up, if you swipe right but they dont swipe right back, ur ranking goes down. if you swipe right on everyone ur tanking ur ranking. start a new account and be pickier. put effort into taking flattering pics of urself and have some friends of various genders and orientations give you feedback on ur pics and bio.

      • GoebbelsDeezNuts [any]
        ·
        2 years ago

        dating apps have an ELO-like ranking system.

        I hate everything.

        Also thanks for the tip, at this point I'm kinda over dating and I just interact with people IRL and whatever happens happens.

        • ZoomeristLeninist [they/them, she/her]M
          ·
          2 years ago

          https://www.help.tinder.com/hc/en-us/articles/7606685697037-Powering-Tinder-The-Method-Behind-Our-Matching

          they mention they don't use "Elo" but that doesnt tell us anything. competitive video games dont use "Elo", they use a proprietary algorithm that functions similarly to Elo. from the information on this link, it seems they use swipe data to determine who you see and who sees you (analogous to Elo) but they also use data from ur pics and bio to run through a matching algorithm (Gale-Shapley). its not as rigid as Elo and probably doesnt have discrete "ranks", but it has Elo-like properties

        • booty [he/him]
          ·
          2 years ago

          it doesn't stand for anything because it isn't an acronym and shouldn't be in all caps like that. it's named after Arpad Elo, the guy who made the system (for chess)

      • CetaceanPosadist
        ·
        2 years ago

        :jokerfication:

        my biggest tech discovery was realizing all of the apps seem to give you a boost after a certain time of decreased activity that seems like it scales with how much the activity decreases. so the strat becomes swiping frequently for a week or two and then not using it for a month or two. i get no likes until a couple months go by and suddenly i'm getting a handful every week for a bit. it also seems like if you don't match with the people who are liking you then it boosts you further, presumably to try and get you a match to keep you on the hook

        :jokerfied:

      • NPa [he/him]
        ·
        2 years ago

        if you know the tech

        spoiler

        pissing your pants 10 frames before shaking hands on the first date

        you can clip out of bounds in the first seconds of a conversation, giving you a way to skip the "introduction" stage and skip straight to the breakup sequence. Unfortunately this can soft-lock you if you get bad RNG on the breakup.

      • kristina [she/her]
        ·
        2 years ago

        i got 3000 messages over 3 months

        vast majority was just insanity. like asking me to come give them a blowjob at 3am, asking me tell them my address so they can come over at 3am, death threats, and so on. i went on maybe 5-8 dates total, all those guys were socialists but we werent compatible for various reasons

        did find my bf eventually but jesus was it a pain in the ass. whats wild is my bf is like 10/10 smoking hot with bulging abs and he would only get messages from 50 year old divorcees

          • kristina [she/her]
            ·
            2 years ago

            i really dont see how people find me attractive. im of the opinion that straight men will fuck anything that is vaguely hourglass shaped

        • GoebbelsDeezNuts [any]
          ·
          2 years ago

          vast majority was just insanity. like asking me to come give them a blowjob at 3am, asking me tell them my address so they can come over at 3am, death threats, and so on

          jfc I think I prefer the radio silence to this what the hell

          • kristina [she/her]
            ·
            2 years ago

            on my old phone i have a ton of screenshots from back then. i mentioned i was a trans communist that didnt want hookups in my first sentence on my profile. then i listed basic do's and don'ts for talking to me, and a bunch of hobbies that i had. nothing very crazy, just stuff like saying 'lets talk about our hobbies!' or 'please dont be thirsty'.

            almost no one read what i said and proceeded to ask for sex straight up. or just say 'hi' and have nothing on their profile for me to go off of. then there were people that actually did have a conversation with me and then got angry when they realized i was trans even though it was in the first sentence. usually those types were weird evangelical people that were putting on a mask to try to get a date or 'convert' me.

            one said they were gonna hunt me down and kill me after superliking me and realized i was trans. i got a free subscription out of that and apparently he was automatically reported to the police :shrug-outta-hecks: i lived close to a college so i was a little concerned for a bit around guys my age because i was thinking 'did this guy see my profile and was he one of those guys?' when i was walking around campus

            and lets not even talk about how many weird gold star lesbians hit me up

      • GoebbelsDeezNuts [any]
        ·
        2 years ago

        I remember talking to my best friend who was making fun of me as he watched me swipe right a million times not looking at a single profile. He said "that's kind of fucked up man" and I asked him how many people have matched with him and he said "zero" and we both had a good laugh.

      • robot_dog_with_gun [they/them]
        ·
        2 years ago

        it's why i don't even try :sadness-abysmal:

        i've been harassed and that's not a good time but i'd rather deal with that than being invisible.

      • aaaaaaadjsf [he/him, comrade/them]
        ·
        2 years ago

        Yeah online dating is pretty much turbo fucked for dudes because it's like 80% other dudes or bots on there.

        Women have to deal with a different problem, which is being spammed by a bunch of frustrated guys. Which can also be very bad.

      • wtypstanaccount04 [he/him]
        ·
        2 years ago

        Online dating is basically designed to turn young guys into misogynists. Young guys: you don't hate women, you hate capitalism and algorithms.

        • electerrific [none/use name]
          ·
          2 years ago

          Well, women only preferring the top 5-10% of men isn't new and long predates dating apps and even capitalism.

          • wtypstanaccount04 [he/him]
            ·
            2 years ago

            Trying to rank people qualitatively doesn't work. Everyone has their own opinions of what they want in a partner. Sure, there are characteristics that are somewhat agreed upon, but those are culturally reinforced and can be changed. If women prefer the top 5-10% of men, as you say, then why do so many of them eventually "settle" and have families? Why are we still here to have this conversation when according to you 90-95% of men are supposedly left out each generation?

            Also:

            joined 10 days ago :farquaad-point: