Subways sucks shit. I’m doubtful anyone here would take them up on it, but I am curious what constitutes ‘for life’? 100 Sammie’s over a 20 year period? Twice weekly limit? Protein restrictions? (Who the fuck wants a lifetime supply of subway tuna salad after all)? Do I get a drink and chips with that MF or is it a sandwich only? We talking footlongs, six inchers or the four inch round kids sammie? Lots of ways for them to game your shit.

Also, this is not the first corporation to try to bribe people with free treats for naming yourself after their product nor will it be the last.