Permanently Deleted

  • Nakoichi [they/them]
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    4 years ago

    You all are my family now. My "real" family are all either shitty rich libs anti-vaxx weirdos or chuds. My dad's pretty cool and I'm trying to radicalize my sister but we don't get much time to talk or hang out because work.

      • Nakoichi [they/them]
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        4 years ago

        :heart-sickle: Edit: damn yall smashed that like button lol

      • Nakoichi [they/them]
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        4 years ago

        When my sister called me one day shortly after the recent bout of protests started and we talked about politics and how fucked everything is and she told me she realized how racist she had been it literally brought a tear to my eye. Her and my dad are like the only ones I can stand anymore.

          • Nakoichi [they/them]
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            4 years ago

            That's awesome, and also I want to thank you for reminding me to give my sis a call. I've been going through some shit and have kinda retreated from the world even more than usual for my introverted ass.

        • kacwawa [none/use name]
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          4 years ago

          Lol as if you ever killed anyone or would be able to kill anyone. Dude, I survived a civil war, don't act tough.

          • Nakoichi [they/them]
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            4 years ago

            Yeah and I've deescalated situations where I've had guns pulled on me and KO'd people before they could even swing on me, this is not a road you want to go down bud.

            • kacwawa [none/use name]
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              4 years ago

              This dude is neo from the matrix. Fists faster then speeding bullets. I just dropped one of my baby mamas on the last guy who tried and she was a big one, so he dead

                • kacwawa [none/use name]
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                  4 years ago

                  Which head do I put in? The one downstairs or upstairs? Plus you try and catch me, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GOSfErx8gs

        • kacwawa [none/use name]
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          4 years ago

          Whatever, I already fucked your dad and he said you were his least favorite twink

  • GenderIsOpSec [she/her]
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    4 years ago

    What kind of family life they must have can easily be imagined. What kind of “family life” can there be if the wife and mother is out at work for at least eight hours and, counting the travelling, is away from home for ten hours a day? Her home is neglected; the children grow up without any maternal care, spending most of the time out on the streets, exposed to all the dangers of this environment. The woman who is wife, mother and worker has to expend every ounce of energy to fulfil these roles. She has to work the same hours as her husband in some factory, printing-house or commercial establishment and then on top of that she has to find the time to attend to her household and look after her children. Capitalism has placed a crushing burden on woman’s shoulders: it has made her a wage-worker without having reduced her cares as housekeeper or mother. Woman staggers beneath the weight of this triple load. She suffers, her face is always wet with tears. Life has never been easy for woman, but never has her lot been harder and more desperate than that of the millions of working women under the capitalist yoke in this heyday of factory production.

    The family breaks down as more and more women go out to work. How can one talk about family life when the man and woman work different shifts, and where the wife does not even have the time to prepare a decent meal for her offspring? How can one talk of parents when the mother and father are out working all day and cannot find the time to spend even a few minutes with their children? It was quite different in the old days. The mother remained at home and occupied herself with her household duties; her children were at her side, under her watchful eye. Nowadays the working woman hastens out of the house early in the morning when the factory whistle blows. When evening comes and the whistle sounds again, she hurries home to scramble through the most pressing of her domestic tasks. Then it’s oil to work again the next morning, and she is tired from lack of sleep. For the married working woman, life is as had as the workhouse. It is not surprising therefore that family ties should loosen and the family begin to fall apart. The circumstances that held the family together no longer exist. The family is ceasing to be necessary either to its members or to the nation as a whole.

    The old family structure is now merely a hindrance. What used to make the old family so strong? First, because the husband and father was the family’s breadwinner; secondly, because the family economy was necessary to all its members: and thirdly, because children were brought up by their parents. What is left of this former type of family? The husband, as we have just seen, has ceased to he the sole breadwinner. The wife who goes to work earns wages. She has learned to cam her own living, to support her children and not infrequently her husband. The family now only serves as the primary economic unit of society and the supporter and educator of young children. Let us examine the matter in more detail, to see whether or not the family is about to be relieved of these tasks as well.

    Communism and the Family, Alexandra Kollontai

    It's a good short read.

      • Chapo0114 [comrade/them, he/him]
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        4 years ago

        So I though it was sexist drivel from the part here, but I went and looked at the bottom and found this gem of a quote:

        "The workers’ state needs new relations between the sexes, just as the narrow and exclusive affection of the mother for her own children must expand until it extends to all the children of the great, proletarian family, the indissoluble marriage based on the servitude of women is replaced by a free union of two equal members of the workers’ state who are united by love and mutual respect. In place of the individual and egoistic family, a great universal family of workers will develop, in which all the workers, men and women, will above all be comrades. This is what relations between men and women, in the communist society will be like. These new relations will ensure for humanity all the joys of a love unknown in the commercial society of a love that is free and based on the true social equality of the partners."

        So I don't think it is nostalgic about the past, but rather expressing that those old systems shouldn't be clung too. Idk, insomnia has rendered me bleary so I'm saving to return later.

        • GenderIsOpSec [she/her]
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          4 years ago

          I don’t think it is nostalgic about the past, but rather expressing that those old systems shouldn’t be clung too

          This is it chief.

      • Chapo0114 [comrade/them, he/him]
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        4 years ago

        Eh...my parents were never concerned "principally for me". My mom has severe bipolar and is selfish on top of that, refusing to ever take responsibility for her own life and my dad, a man she dated from the time I was three and who adopted me when they got married, hasn't talked to me since I turned 18 cause he and my mom were through and child support no longer made him pretend to care.

        Then I look at one of my friends that works at a daycare tell me about the kids and there personalities and struggles and I wish caring professionals raised me.

    • seksmisja [none/use name]
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      4 years ago

      Ya no, I am kinda glad most people on here don't have kids because this sounds awful. Regardless of what some parents do and how angry you are at your "mean" parents, you don't decide to rip children away from their parents and most parents would never agree to it, including myself. If you want to take my children away, you better be ready to catch a bullet in the head

      This is basically residential school tier thinking and it just comes off as "I am a teenager and I hate my parents" tier posting

      • 389aaa [it/its]
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        4 years ago

        I'd gladly rip children away from any abusive parents, as a kid who experienced abuse myself. Problem is, abuse is practically baked into the current system of child-raising. I will confidently assert that 99% of parents are in some way abusive to their children, trying their best or not.

        • seksmisja [none/use name]
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          4 years ago

          I will confidently assert that 99% of parents are in some way abusive to their children, trying their best or not.

          This is such a hyperbolic statement that I can't even fathom how to approach it. And you really think tearing kids away from their parents is not abusive?

          • 389aaa [it/its]
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            4 years ago

            Not inherently, no. I can tell you from experience that my childhood would've been a LOT better if someone had torn me away from my mother like ASAP.

            • seksmisja [none/use name]
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              4 years ago

              Ya I can tell you were fucked up in your childhood if you think taking children away from their parents who are in good houses does nothing bad to a childs mental well being. Literally psychopath mentality.

              • 389aaa [it/its]
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                4 years ago

                I said not inherently, try reading next time. Obviously it can be and would be in a good number of cases.

                • seksmisja [none/use name]
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                  4 years ago

                  You said that in your belief, 99% of parents were abusive and you think children should be removed from abusive homes, it's not that hard to put the two together and know what you want to do.

                  • 389aaa [it/its]
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                    4 years ago

                    In retrospect, I suppose I didn't communicate very well there. I was voicing my support for the OP, in response to your rather hyperbolic comment on the matter. I guess I made my equally hyperbolic in response, which was unwise.

                    I'm not some kind of idealist who thinks that we could magically solve all the problems by just magically taking all the children away from their parents. Realistically, it'd have to be a centuries long transition to the style of child-raising the OP described, though I would like it if government services that separate children from above-average-level-of-abusive parents were like, ten times more efficient and speedy.

                    • seksmisja [none/use name]
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                      4 years ago

                      My apologies if I was rude as well, I grew up on the old forums/chans were everyone forms friendships by being extremely mean to each other. I suppose that my general opposition to it is that morality is a very personal thing, so who is to say that what some "expert" wants is what I feel is best for my child. A universal agreement on child rearing would never be met, even amongst experts. Likewise, I want to raise my child in my culture, in this hypothetical community based rearing, you would have to give up your cultural practices and way of thinking for some kind of shapeless identity

                      • Amorphous [any]
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                        4 years ago

                        so who is to say that what some “expert” wants is what I feel is best for my child

                        Who's to say that what you "feel" is best for your child actually is?

                        A child is not personal property, it is not a thing that you can (or rather, should be allowed to) make your own decisions about if you want. You shouldn't be allowed to make the decision not to vaccinate your child, for example, or to make the decision to mutilate them for religious or cosmetic reasons. That's a whole ass human there, not an extension of yourself. What is best for them is what ultimately matters, not what the person who created them thinks.

                        • seksmisja [none/use name]
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                          4 years ago

                          Children and people are not property of a the government either. It's called free will, everyone can raise their children the way you want. It's some lunacy in here where people want the government and nameless people to take away their families for the "greater good"

                          • Amorphous [any]
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                            4 years ago

                            It’s called free will,

                            "hurr durr free will is when i can impose my will on other people"

                            • seksmisja [none/use name]
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                              4 years ago

                              Do you also fuck consensually or do you have to ask someone for permission? Hurr durr the government telling everyone how to live their lives is totally not the same. Freedom is an illusion, but at the end of the day, I would much rather live by my will and not the government in regards to child rearing. Everyday you wake up, someone is imposing their will onto you.

                              In this hypothetical where you take the children away, is that also not "imposing your will" onto others?

                              • Amorphous [any]
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                                4 years ago

                                In this hypothetical where you take the children away, is that also not “imposing your will” onto others?

                                I'm not the one who brought up or cares about the abstract concept of "free will" bucko

        • TillieNeuen [she/her]
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          4 years ago

          I'm a "trained professional," and trust me, we're just stumbling through too. I get where you're coming from, but I don't see it going well.

    • constantly_dabbing [none/use name]
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      4 years ago

      experts who actually want them to succeed

      redditors: "what if we did technocratic neoliberalism but for child raising"

  • penguin_von_doom [she/her]
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    4 years ago

    Yes on nuclear family and cisheteronormatovity. Those are bullshit. Monogamy is based tho (not the lifelong married at 15 sweethearts tho) , but it shouldn't be the only option

      • penguin_von_doom [she/her]
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        4 years ago

        My issue with it is the same. In general I'm not sure I buy codependency as a concept. I think people who are bad at monogamy tend to be bad at any type of relationships, cause it's not so much about the form, as much as it's about the people, but non monogamy (or at least the communities I've had experience with) tends to allow more ways for them to hide their issues

        • Chapo_Trap_Horse [none/use name]
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          4 years ago

          In strong relationships you should get to occasionally fuck other people while your partner jills off to it. Because adventure is hot. It's that simple.

          Monogamy and the inevitably resulting jealousy are bourgeois metaphors for property ownership.

          I agree though that serial cheaters just suck at being close in a relationship.

          • penguin_von_doom [she/her]
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            4 years ago

            Monogamy and the inevitably resulting jealousy are bourgeois metaphors for property ownership.

            I kinda disagree here. Both monogamy and jealousy have been around long before property ownership and the bourgeois and will be around long after theyre gone.

            • penguin_von_doom [she/her]
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              4 years ago

              Lol, have you tried non-monogamy? Of course there is jealousy. And tons of drama. And all the difficult conversations about feelings and intentions and how the other interpreted them. And dont give me that compersion bullshit, cause its bullshit.

              • seksmisja [none/use name]
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                4 years ago

                monogamy and jealousy exist in the animal world as well, some people on here have some very utopian view that everything "bad" comes from "property ownership". I'm gonna be perfectly honest and I just feel some people are inherently selfish and just think about themselves. Relationships are a two way street and you have to make sacrifices for each other. If my partner came to me with this non-monogamy stuff, I would just tell them to fuck off and go on their way, not interested in it. If that's your thing, that's fine, but for some people, myself included, I don't want it.

                • penguin_von_doom [she/her]
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                  4 years ago

                  Some of them are also probably very young, and want to see everything through this enlightened bong-rip leftist utopian lens... Yah, me too.

                  • seksmisja [none/use name]
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                    4 years ago

                    Oh sorry, I think you interpreted what I was saying as that there is no jealousy in non-monogamy, I was saying the opposite. People get jealous, with me personally, I hate sex without intimacy and a relationship. It makes me angry and depressed. For me adventure is doing something new or going somewhere into the wilderness.

                    • penguin_von_doom [she/her]
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                      4 years ago

                      Sorry, my bad.

                      For me adventure is doing something new or going somewhere into the wilderness.

                      Same really. I dont really find anything adventurous in sleeping with new people for the sake of it. IDK, perhaps Im demi or just a horny ace or something.