I'll add to what Ash said.. in regards to passing, try not to dwell when you go out, most people don't give a shit they're too busy with their own shit. And realistically most people if they do think anything or clock you as anything they'll just think you're trans..
Being clocked as trans isn't the end of the world. If anything it is another day out as yourself.
I don’t know how to say this without coming off as like…internally transphobic or shallow, but I wouldn’t mind the idea of being clocked as trans as much if I could be sure it was in a like “that person is trans, but still cute” way and not a “that’s a man in a dress who I tolerate out of politeness” way.
Only you think you look like a man in a dress, I bet your GF doesn't think so.. And here's the rub, with how common Trans is in the headlines and how Visible being trans is in general, the majority of people will assume you're trans.. Not a crossdresser or much else.
Also visibly trans people are cute all the time.. even short haired freshly out eggs can be cute and pretty!
At that point those people are nothing and not worth worrying about.
Eventually you have to be willing to accept that not everyone is going to accept you but that shouldn't keep you from going out as you. For all you know, people will accept you it's more the fear of not, keeping you withdrawn.
I do understand how you feel, I knew for years I was trans and waited and waited. I grew up with lots of abuse from within my household and at school. And it took until my mid 30s and being at my lowest point before I could finally transition..
I'll add to what Ash said.. in regards to passing, try not to dwell when you go out, most people don't give a shit they're too busy with their own shit. And realistically most people if they do think anything or clock you as anything they'll just think you're trans.. Being clocked as trans isn't the end of the world. If anything it is another day out as yourself.
I don’t know how to say this without coming off as like…internally transphobic or shallow, but I wouldn’t mind the idea of being clocked as trans as much if I could be sure it was in a like “that person is trans, but still cute” way and not a “that’s a man in a dress who I tolerate out of politeness” way.
Only you think you look like a man in a dress, I bet your GF doesn't think so.. And here's the rub, with how common Trans is in the headlines and how Visible being trans is in general, the majority of people will assume you're trans.. Not a crossdresser or much else. Also visibly trans people are cute all the time.. even short haired freshly out eggs can be cute and pretty!
but how many people fundamentally view trans women as “men in dresses” even if they support them?
At that point those people are nothing and not worth worrying about. Eventually you have to be willing to accept that not everyone is going to accept you but that shouldn't keep you from going out as you. For all you know, people will accept you it's more the fear of not, keeping you withdrawn.
I’m not so sure
I do understand how you feel, I knew for years I was trans and waited and waited. I grew up with lots of abuse from within my household and at school. And it took until my mid 30s and being at my lowest point before I could finally transition..