site's back, time to party niko-dance

  • ashinadash [she/her]
    ·
    edit-2
    6 months ago
    cw weirdo sex shit

    niko-concern I decided I feel at least a lil weird about the fact that, via the use or nonuse and varied doses of antiandrogens, I can basically decide how much sex drive I have. 25mg cypro totally obliterates any sexual thoughts, 0 is the awooga zone, 12.5mg is like 10% gay sex thoughts.

    This is super fucking weird. I guess if you're allosexual you'd just match your drive to however much sex you want to have, or whatever? But for me I kinda wonder what's right, what I want. I don't mind 10% gay sex thoughts I guess? But having the choice or requirement to decide this feels so strange. Like, I guess I could just be horny all the time or whatever (ech) if I took spiro or did monotherapy? Is it normal for allos to just get led around by the nose on account of their sex drive? What actually is sexual desire??? niko-wtf I guess it feels so weird because cis ppl talk about sex drive as an innate attribute you might raise or lower, not a lever to throw for fun.

    • Tomboymoder [she/her, pup/pup's]
      ·
      6 months ago

      I feel like I don’t really get “horny” anymore, at least not out of the blue.
      I’ll masturbate, but it’s more a habit/something to do.

      • ashinadash [she/her]
        ·
        edit-2
        6 months ago
        nsfw

        makima-huh

        Uh the first part used to be true of me also until last week. When I reduced the cypro dose I found that very slight gaysex thoughts occasionally wander into my brain sometimes. Does not always lead to horny though, so I guess the processes are seperate?

    • imogen_underscore [it/its, she/her]
      ·
      6 months ago

      25mg cypro seems like a lot! i recently cut mine from 12.5 daily to every two days and still have next to zero T lol the shit is potent

      • ashinadash [she/her]
        ·
        6 months ago

        Yeah it is but my endo never said anything. I cut mine to 12.5 and am gonna cut to every two days if the bloodtest results are good =) once upon a time I was on 50mg lol

        • naom3 [she/her]
          ·
          edit-2
          6 months ago

          It’s a 50mg pill, therefore take 50mg blob-no-thoughts

          • ashinadash [she/her]
            ·
            6 months ago

            blob-no-thoughts I did for a while, kinda brutal depressant though honestly ime

    • WalrusDragonOnABike [they/them]@lemmy.today
      ·
      6 months ago
      Tap for spoiler

      For me, when I started spiro (50mg/twice day), 8 think within a week or two, my libido was pretty much completely gone. No morning wood, etc. But I think it's returned a just a tiny bit over the last couple months. Seems like it would be more complicated to try to fine-tune the dosage, at least while my body feels like it is overcompensating for the spiro by possibly producing more T (idk - don't have a baseline that's not from like 5 years ago).

      I might be a black-stripe ace? So libido is mostly just something that makes it hard to sleep and is annoying during the day. Doesn't really cause any sort of sex-thoughts. For me, sexual desire and libido are two separate things and conflating them is one of the reasons I ruled out the possibility of being ace for like 15 years.

      Personally didn't opt for trying monotherapy specifically because I wanted to reduce or eliminate my libido. I wish I had been presented that option like a decade ago without any sort of social baggage attached.

      • ashinadash [she/her]
        ·
        6 months ago
        spoiler

        my libido was pretty much completely gone. No morning wood, etc.

        waow-based

        With each reply, the more I look at this the more I wonder what and how and why even, with regard to myself. I dunno if I understand anything. I'm not gonna fuck with my dose personally, not now anyway, but it feels really weird I guess Idk. This is a bad feel desolate

        Fwiw, I do seperate libido and desire for myself even if they feel kind of tied together in an ugly fashion... like my brain chemicals or whatever are fuckin tricking me into sex? Ech. It occurs to me that sex-thoughts only even... kind of occur in my brain? Aw jeesh I don't understand anything anymore =)

        I find it fascinating & cool that you went in with the idea to reduce or eliminate your libido. It's been ages but maybe that was a motivator for me too, cannot recall...