It was the first time any of my friends had gotten married. It was a really fun weekend.
It set off this anxiety about wanting to find someone, wanting not to be alone. It led to me feeling super insecure, and feeling worthless. I thought I wanted to die, but in hindsight I think I was realizing that I hated being a straight man.
In hindsight, yeah. I was looking for myself pretty much everywhere except internally and it really sucked. But those thoughts of death kinda get replaced by the thought of coming out and really being myself.
Thank you I'm happier to not know at the moment and be exploring. It's freeing
What about the wedding causes you distress?
It was the first time any of my friends had gotten married. It was a really fun weekend.
It set off this anxiety about wanting to find someone, wanting not to be alone. It led to me feeling super insecure, and feeling worthless. I thought I wanted to die, but in hindsight I think I was realizing that I hated being a straight man.
sad(?)
Do you think you'd describe that feeling as queer loneliness?
You're not worthless
There is happiness to be found in self discovery regardless of where you end up.
sad
In hindsight, yeah. I was looking for myself pretty much everywhere except internally and it really sucked. But those thoughts of death kinda get replaced by the thought of coming out and really being myself.
Thank you
I'm happier to not know at the moment and be exploring. It's freeing