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I just read Fucking Trans Women in one sitting. Yeah, I’m Ace, at least since blockers. Do I want to be? Did cis-ish sexuality suck that much, or was I making it worse? Does sexuality come back with E?
Does "sexuality" mean libido or sexual desire to you? Estrogen can totally give you a (different, cool) libido back after blockers obliterate it entirely. If going on blockers also totaled your desire for sex though, independent of libido, well I dunno. Could be you like sex on hormones a lot more, but it could also be that sex is just lame for you.
Cis-ish sexuality definitely sucks really badly when you have dysphoria and/or the wrong hormones.
I don’t know. I think, yeah, it’s just not appealing. I used to pretty horny, as any teen, but I also probably have ADHD, and I think my under stimulation added to the misery I took for hornyness. Since puberty I’ve found myself very attractive with feminizing stuff adding to it, but despite being very pretty, I no longer turn myself on for better or worse and neither does most things (maybe some things if I try). I used to find most people (at least my age) attractive, but now my perception of prettiness in everyone comes and goes. I don’t claim to be a trans woman, but nothing in the zine sounded “hot,” straight guy shit sounds gross and wrong, and idk what it’s like to have a pussy, so who knows with that. I don’t know what to do with this, but whatever, I’ll post.
Edit: I’ve never felt bottom dysphoria, it’s just a weird ugly thing that’s there and not too inconvenient. That said, I do stress about it a bit socially, idk. Maybe internal transmisogyny, not particularly relevant.
It's good to post, share your thoughts =) and yeah very very ace.
Indeed, putting thoughts out there helps one think. Especially when I have a lot of thoughts and scarcely know what to believe in any case.
It can be incredibly difficult for anyone on the ace spectrum because there's a lot of variety and a lot factors in to things.
For me personally, I don't get anything out of looking at people, I see beauty and if someone was attractive but that's it I don't feel anything else. I don't get arousal outside of a relationship, I am demi. I also have some sexual repulsion outside of a relationship too..
Yeah, it’s weird when it used to be completely different though. It’s also weird figuring out what I think I’m allowed to think in a (former) young (lesbian) relationship.
"what I think I’m allowed to think"?
When one has intrusive thoughts one can imagine another person would be disturbed by them having those thoughts. Basically, it feels like disrespect for random thoughts of sex to appear about someone who’s not into penises, even though it wasn’t about that, idk. Maybe OCD.
There's a few others here that are also on the ace spectrum, including my wife and I.