Honest question; Is all this concern and 'worry' about misgendering kind of the problem? I don't want to misgender but in a random meeting with some one i just met if I accidentally misgender and am corrected I'll apologize and not do it again. (Also working on just dropping gendered terms)
I feel like ppl are trying to make it seem like crazy hard to do.
I've accidently dead named friends that I meet before transitioning. I apologize.
I don't think you're an asshole or even did anything wrong, but yes it does hurt some people. Really depends on person to person but like, when you get misgendered it means you're being perceived as the wrong gender. When everyone does this every day it absolutely grinds me down and just saps all hope from me.
Like, I have to go basically sit in my room and be like, will there ever be a time when I'm not just perceived as some man in a dress or something? It does hurt. And I don't want people gendering me correctly to be some laborious process for them. I don't want people to have to try. I know it's not realistic
But also I definitely understand that it's not the fault of the people perceiving me, it's just reality.
I don't want to misgender but in a random meeting with some one i just met if I accidentally misgender and am corrected I'll apologize and not do it again. (Also working on just dropping gendered terms)
Nah you're good.
Sentiment matters. It only matters when someone intended it, or when someone is clearly not trying and has made the mistake many times even after being told. The latter gets a bit murky and comes down to effort.
It's so weird how cis people handle their fear of misgendering - I went in to the doc the other day, and the nurse was prefacing asking me about my pronouns with a long drawn out explanation about why they were asking. I told them they really don't need to preface the question in a professional setting like that, it's a normal question that you can just ask.
Its very odd to me, but i dont know how that people dont interact with trans people? Like, do they just not talk to people and even just exchange pleasantries? You should know when its safe to assume pronouns and when to ask, and trans people arnt an exclusively weird and defensive type of people that are just going to scream in your face when you ask what their pronouns are or get their pronouns wrong on accident.
Its fucking ridiculous propaganda that the rightwing has made it apparent that trans people are stereotyped as such and really just shows that people should talk to more people than that.
Honest question; Is all this concern and 'worry' about misgendering kind of the problem? I don't want to misgender but in a random meeting with some one i just met if I accidentally misgender and am corrected I'll apologize and not do it again. (Also working on just dropping gendered terms)
I feel like ppl are trying to make it seem like crazy hard to do.
I've accidently dead named friends that I meet before transitioning. I apologize.
Am I the asshole?
I don't think you're an asshole or even did anything wrong, but yes it does hurt some people. Really depends on person to person but like, when you get misgendered it means you're being perceived as the wrong gender. When everyone does this every day it absolutely grinds me down and just saps all hope from me.
Like, I have to go basically sit in my room and be like, will there ever be a time when I'm not just perceived as some man in a dress or something? It does hurt. And I don't want people gendering me correctly to be some laborious process for them. I don't want people to have to try. I know it's not realistic
But also I definitely understand that it's not the fault of the people perceiving me, it's just reality.
Nah you're good.
Sentiment matters. It only matters when someone intended it, or when someone is clearly not trying and has made the mistake many times even after being told. The latter gets a bit murky and comes down to effort.
It's so weird how cis people handle their fear of misgendering - I went in to the doc the other day, and the nurse was prefacing asking me about my pronouns with a long drawn out explanation about why they were asking. I told them they really don't need to preface the question in a professional setting like that, it's a normal question that you can just ask.
Its very odd to me, but i dont know how that people dont interact with trans people? Like, do they just not talk to people and even just exchange pleasantries? You should know when its safe to assume pronouns and when to ask, and trans people arnt an exclusively weird and defensive type of people that are just going to scream in your face when you ask what their pronouns are or get their pronouns wrong on accident.
Its fucking ridiculous propaganda that the rightwing has made it apparent that trans people are stereotyped as such and really just shows that people should talk to more people than that.
People need to chill out.
Exactly! Most people just think of some public freak out tiktac that was probably staged.