I am aware you have been boymoding for a lot longer then I've been cracked. I have struggled my entire life to pursue what I want because of fear though. I know that being quiet and trying to blend in and "keep my head down" has caused me an enormous amount of pain over the years. I have also suffered, even if it wasn't gender feelings at the time. I just want us both to be a bit braver. Even if it ends poorly, at least you tried.

I don't know, maybe I'm not being helpful. I'm wishing you the best, regardless of what you do.