Yeah, it's a lot easier to see it when it's not happening to yourself because part of the control is to use your own feelings against you. It's good that you stood up for him, having good older siblings like that is a godsend. It's awful that he hasn't done the same for you though. I would hope it's just him being a typical teenage shithead and that he'll grow out of it, but it's unfortunate he turned out like that regardless. I would say he probably genuinely doesn't recognise it, my brother never noticed the ways my mother parentified my sister in regards to taking care of him, again that whole idea of invisible labour, he doesn't recognise what you're really doing and how taxing it is so it hasn't registered as an abuse. Which it is. God I fucking hate your family now, it's so fucking shit that they're treating you like this.

Interesting, I hadn't heard of that concept before. It does seem to make sense though. I'm the most like my mother in my family and I was easily her favourite outside of being trans breaking her brain. I agree it probably isn't the maturity so much as personality/value similarities more generally.

I hate teenage boys.