"Hurry in for deals so hot they can melt steel beams!"
I will buy the product of the first serious company that does this. This is my solemn vow.
Already happened, but America wasn't ready and they went out of business
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
you buy something for 35% off and then BAM, while you're checking out you get a second surprise discount
you walk out the store while Israeli employees dance and cheer you on
A shelf near you randomly collapses for no reason
Hell, "country" singers already milked the fuck out of it, so the precedent is there.
Yesterday I went to the grocery store and all the garlic presses were on sale for $9.11. I guess you'll never forget how easy it is to crush your garlic
Making airplane noises as I press the garlic and then saying softly in a high pitched tone "Ahhh nooo what will happen to my stocks" as it squeezes through the holes.