As a transwoman, I understand that feeling of acceptedness within the Chapo community and I can imagine the feeling of betrayal that they must be feeling. I joined about a year ago at one of the lowest and most pivotal points of my life and the community has helped me to grow as a person and to really turn my life around for the better. I'm personally trying my best to provide the same safe and protecting community for trans and non-binary people here that I saw in the subreddit that allowed me to blossom so heavily. However, a blank slate means you let go of the things that happened in the past and we all move forward on this new platform, where I have taken steps to ensure that trans people are more protected so situations like this do not arise. Spamming the Lemmy does not constitute a move forward.

Marie stated in one comment that, "I was, unfortunately, misgendered by someone on the discord (and had been multiple times by that point) and so I expressed my feelings that not enough was being done to protect trans comrades." If they looked at the trans and non-binary dedicated community, they would see several points where I have provided updates on the site-wide pronoun tags (entirely separate from community flair, I might add) that are coming down the pipeline of updates, which I strongly pushed for and had the pleasure of discussing and brainstorming with the developers to make a reality. I personally didn't think the Discord had the capability to fully prevent misgendering because it would require someone to click on another person's profile and self-investigate? So how could that be improved moving away from the Discord? On the Lemmy, pronouns will be immediately next to your name site-wide leaving no excuse for misgendering going forward.

Someone else stated that "it’s kind of depressing that lgbt spaces here are empty" and "it raises the issue of what the priority is in affirmatively making sure there is a space here in chapo for our queer comrades to have a home, vs being a home for cis comrades to affirm their own perceived tolerance." It's hard to pull people to Lemmy when there is no guarantee I can prevent things like misgendering otherwise I personally would be trying to pull all of my trans and non-binary comrades here. It's actually one of my biggest concerns and I have addressed this concern in our space. I'm hesitant to really do anything in the trans and non-binary community until I can guarantee that no one will face dysphoria on that front.

I have discussed at-length with other moderators that I (and I can't stress this enough) DO NOT want cis people on my moderator board, as our people do not need cis people dictating the manner in which we can converse with each other about our trials and tribulations. Marie stated they want "reform" and for the "mod team to not be shit"? Here I fucking am. They want mods to be "held accountable for their actions"? I will absolutely swing for the fences for our people. "Will this ever happen?" they asked. Yes.

UPDATE:

I have tried everything possible to make amends. Yesterday on the statement I made allowing for any good faith grievances to be discussed, I received countless comments telling me to “talk to the Shorks”. Getting specific names of people in the Shork server was no easy feat, but I did it. I ended up reaching out to Shorkena, one of the moderators on the Shork server that Marie was kind enough to put me in contact with, and tried to pull together a group chat to have a good faith conversation about how to move forward. I tried everything to reach some sort of agreement. They’ve been spamming demanding that their voices and grievances be heard since we opened the Lemmy and I have gaven them multiple spaces space to freely do that and openly discuss grievances and how to move forward in good faith and they shuttered.

I gave them every opportunity I could possibly think to give and they squandered it and even went as far as mocking me within their own server and digging up drunken shitpost Tweets to openly mock me about instead of discussing their actual grievances with me, which you can see in the Imgur directory below.

I remained hopeful throughout all of this that I could pull something off and end all of this, but I have concluded there is no good faith attempt here anymore.

For all of those interested, here is every interaction I’ve had with any of them involved: https://imgur.com/a/rfN6joQ

REMOVED IMGUR ALBUM SO THOSE INVOLVED WILL NOT BE DOXXED.

  • ChairmanFemboi [any]
    2·
    4 years ago

    A lot of drama between a small group of people. Some of the drama was serious (pedo-defending mod who got axed) while some of it was less serious and made to seem like a bigger conflict than it actually was. Some of the conflicts were centred around people accidentally misgendering users, which is what this update is supposed to remedy.

      • the_river_cass [she/her]
        6·
        4 years ago

        that's why pronoun tags are in the works. calling each other comrade is a roundabout way to make misgendering technically not a problem rather than addressing the root cause - the presumption that people are cis men (or trans women upon learning that someone is trans), i.e. cissexism.

        • stalintoesucker [none/use name]
          ·
          4 years ago

          this is insane, not using pronouns is clearly a reasonable way to not misgender people. how is that "a roundabout way to make it technically not a problem"? aren't gendered pronouns a weird and unnecessary holdover from a sexist language history? why not call everyone comrade?

          • the_river_cass [she/her]
            1·
            4 years ago

            my gender is part of my struggle to become myself. choosing not to recognize that takes something away from me just as much as forcing me into the wrong category. if the genderless form is right for you, that's great, but it's not mine. there's more to gender than the oppression of old hierarchies and eliminating them won't eliminate gender entirely, just the coercion and enforced categorization. I'm not arguing against a genderless or neuter gender default but rather the active refusal to recognize that I am a woman.

      • Sphere [he/him, they/them]
        4·
        4 years ago

        I could be wrong but I thought they (the axed mod) were defending pedo shit (loli drawings), not a specific pedo person.

        • MrsPacMan [none/use name]
          32·
          4 years ago

          The conversation it happened in was centered around a particular person. And it wasn't the person who was banned.

            • QuillQuote [they/them]
              7·
              4 years ago

              The admin who was removed for defending loli was not doing so in defense of me, as there was no loli in any way, me being that other (ex)mod being mentioned. The allegations against me are baseless and it really hurts to see myself being called "the loli person"

              Scared to even defend myself, but its just so draining. I've been getting harassed about this for weeks, I'm scared to even check here or discord for fear of seeing yet another shitstorm where people are calling me a pedophile. It's a waking nightmare and I'm afraid to even talk about it.

              Also important to note that I was not removed: the team investigated it thoroughly, my whole online existence rooted through, even stuff from when I was in highschool was dug up, and nothing was found. Otherwise I would have been immediately banned. But then the rumors started spreading and got to the point that the rumors alone were damaging trust and making people feel unsafe, at that point being a mod was harming me and harming the community, so I stepped down voluntarily.

              Sorry, this kind of turned into venting, my brain is foggy. hope it cleared some stuff up

              • TheMagicBurro [comrade/them]
                1·
                4 years ago

                Hey Quill, I've interacted with you a few times on the Discord. You come across like a very cool and inviting person! I'm sorry you've had to deal with all of this. I'm sure most of us libs trust you and the rest of the mod team here, solidarity forever :red-fist:

                  • MrsPacMan [none/use name]
                    24·
                    4 years ago

                    why? so yall can ban me?

                    A crime far worse than transphobia I'm sure https://i.imgur.com/U1AgVGy.png

                      • MrsPacMan [none/use name]
                        22·
                        4 years ago

                        I mean if that's who's drawings karlmouth was defending then that's who's drawings karlmouth was defending. If it's not then it's not.

            • MrsPacMan [none/use name]
              23·
              4 years ago

              every time someone tries they get banned and deleted. Here's the full log between people that are concerned and beatnik and the owner of this site https://imgur.com/a/l7rCmKX

          • Sphere [he/him, they/them]
            3·
            4 years ago

            Ok well I clearly don't know the full story, then. Thanks for the info.

            Also, I wasn't the one who downvoted you, btw.