I'm just middle aged and lost all energy for unproductive discussions. The second another poster posts something genuinely hostile, like "touch grass" kinda shit, I'm just done talking. Also if we're six comments in and the other guy won't even admit to being wrong to the thing he said on comment one, despite me doing twenty minutes of research to prove conclusively that he's wrong, I don't want to waste another second of my life on him.

I gotta have 10% of the "disengage" comments on this site.

  • Diuretic_Materialism [he/him]
    ·
    2 months ago

    Hot take, I think the "disengage" rule is good but I don't like the way we do it.

    Saying "disengage" sounds like your commanding someone to disengage, which comes off as a final "fuck you!" It's basically a mod enforced way to have the last word. If we instead said "I'm disengaging" or "i want to cease this convo", idk something that had more to a tinge of humility to it I think it could come off better.

    • ButtBidet [he/him]
      ·
      2 months ago

      if we instead said "I'm disengaging" or "i want to cease this convo", idk something that had more to a tinge of humility to it I think it could come off better.

      Ya I agree, this sounds way better.

    • Blockocheese [any]
      ·
      2 months ago

      There's also the issue where someone will write a multi paragraph response then add disengage at the end to ger the last word in

      There was a post a while ago where mods were saying not to do that but it isn't enforced

      • MiraculousMM [he/him, any]
        ·
        2 months ago

        Its absolutely enforced when we see it happen. Report any instance of the disengage rule being used improperly like that. We don't see everything and rely heavily on user reports to point out CoC violations

      • Diuretic_Materialism [he/him]
        ·
        2 months ago

        Was gonna say I'm pretty sure that's against the rules and you don't have to respect that "disengage" if it's made like that.

      • REgon [they/them]
        ·
        2 months ago

        There's also the issue where someone will write a multi paragraph response then add disengage at the end to ger the last word in

        That hasn't been an issue for over a year. Doing that will - or at least was - grounds for a banning. I know because I'm the one that asked for the rule to be clarified so it didn't work like that.
        There was some drama with some user who kept doing it, which was the motivation for the rule change/clarification.

      • ProfessorOwl_PhD [any]
        ·
        2 months ago

        I've got someone banned for not respecting proper disengage etiquette, so it's definitely enforced when reported.

    • MemesAreTheory [he/him, any]
      ·
      2 months ago

      You know I tried something like that recently, but the people who need a disengage aren't the ones to take a hint. It's a command because the people who's hobby that day is to argue with you aren't going to respect polite boundaries.

      • Diuretic_Materialism [he/him]
        ·
        2 months ago

        Okay but I've seen as many examples of people using it as a "have the last word spell" than as a way to tell someone who's legit been pestering you to fuck off.

        I'm pretty sure spamming someone with replies after they've asked you to stop is against the rules anyway so you could just report them.

    • CommunistCuddlefish [she/her]
      ·
      2 months ago

      Can you explain the disengage rule? I think this is the first I'm hearing about it and that's kind of weird/concerning because I feel like I should know the rules of this place.

      • bumpusoot [any]
        ·
        2 months ago

        If you want a conversation to stop, especially with a user who's constantly replying or following you. You can respond with "Disengage.", and the user is obliged to stop posting at you about whatever it is. The post has to be a simple 'disengage', rather than trying to get the last word in with "you stink and here's five reasons why also disengage".