Link to the thread
https://www.reddit.com/r/SecurityClearance/comments/1g3sbsl/amount_of_chinese_women_on_dating_apps_in_dc/
A Reddit link was detected in your comment. Here are links to the same location on alternative frontends that protect your privacy.
all of them bro, they'll seduce you and tie you to a bed and steal all your SEED VOLCEL POLICE HELP
- Show
The VOLCEL POLICE are on the scene! PLEASE KEEP YOUR VITAL ESSENCES TO YOURSELVES AT ALL TIMES.
نحن شرطة VolCel.بناءا على تعليمات الهيئة لترويج لألعاب الفيديو و النهي عن الجنس نرجوا الإبتعاد عن أي أفكار جنسية و الحفاظ على حيواناتكم المنويَّة حتى يوم الحساب. اتقوا الله، إنك لا تراه لكنه يراك.
Guy who definitely gets laid: ”I am being surveilled on tinder by clandestine agents from the People’s Republic of China.”
This is the prequel to some inevitable Reddit complaint post about how it's impossible for such lanyard warriors to get dates in DC.
Chinese woman here! i sucked Matt Gaetz off so good that he told me the Floridian nuclear launch codes. I will be personally handing them to Xi Jinping and the Ayatollah at the next BRICS meeting
They're there to steal cum so that Chinese scientists can synthesize the DNA and create the world's most annoying person in a lab
Annoying person manufacturing process
Step 1: Load paper into paper tray
Step 2: Print (Ctrl + P)
Step 3: Receive WMDs
China pls send me handsome chinese men to "spy" on me by entering into a wholesome and loving relationship and building a life together. When his sleeper cell trigger is activated ill still support my king!
Lol exactly. If I was getting honeypotted, I'd be so psyched... You mean I get to get laid AND leak state secrets? Count me in!
Insert
sex dungeon tweet.
This is where the SEE PEE PEE train their CUMMUNIST agents on. Grueling and unusual sex slaves, bred for training Chinese hawt 
CUMMIES to undermine and destroy the West from within. This is why it is so perilous for young 
these days. We must end this scourge against our future Volcel army!
"As a top lieutenant in the VolCel volunteer force, I want it on the record that Dr. Professor Lobster Esq. PhD MD has our full permission to go fuck himself."
All of them. They're all spies. Better stay away from them. (seriously pls stay away from them they shouldn't have to waste their time weeding out you racist fucks)
Comrade you might need to take a break from the posting spree
You've made three typos in this one
Pffffft I have a new phone, the first smart phone I've ever owned without a keyboard. It is really taking the joy out of posting. : (
I'm working on a solution but I'm low on resources right now and I can't get all the materials I need to fix the issue.
Pffffft I have a new phone, the first smart phone I've ever owned without a keyboard.
I'd RETVRN to phones with buttons but they're just about impossible to find affordably, which I know is on purpose.
Steve Jobs was a mistake.
I hated him when iPods were doing those
silhouette commercials and that hatred burned brighter as time went on.The chin-rubbing turtlenecked "visionary" shit was a cognitohazard that inspired the Theranos grift and continues to influence aesthetics worldwide.
I actually thought you might have been high on cold medicine again lmao
Can you still do that? I thought they banned codine except with a scrip.
Being sick and somewhat sedated by medicine is enough to be sort of "drunk" and make typos. :P
But in terms of like, getting actually high, yeah you can't just get codeine but there's cough medicine that's like, pure DXM and people use it as a deliriant.
Oh okay I understand! I still make typos on touchscreens all the time after years using them. I just got used to double checking to correct them. Too young to have ever owned a physical keyboard phone but I totally see why people miss them
you may already know, but if you hold down for a keypress it should highlight the key and you can drag to adjust
I'm not sure what you mean? I can move keys around on the keyboard?
instead of tapping at a touchscreen keyboard, press and hold and the key will pop up. if you drag it will move along the keyboard and you can release when the key you want is highlighted
Oh, gotcha, swipe and gestures and stuff. I dislike that whole input system. It's excruciatingly slow. On a good day I can hit 50-60 wpm on my old blackberry keyboard.
The typos were meant to be symbolic of the social and personal decay being observed
in my headcanon
Imagining a guy who is stoked that he got his first match on tinder in weeks from a beautiful woman after sifting through all of the PRC agents trying to nab his security clearance, only to receive these messages consecutively:
Heyyyy I’m bored what’s up
Lol you’re so funny.
Oh wait that reminds me, a lotta yall still dont get it
ape holders can use multiple slurp juices on a single ape
so if you have 1 astro ape and 3 slurp juices you can create 3 new apes
Tonight's slurp juice mint event is essentially a minting event for both Lab Monkes and Special Forces
[redeem-your-slurpjuicseshere.now.net/obviousscam]
Mans will say this and act like they're not ridiculously propagandised. Genuinely what the fuck
God that has to be the most LARPy, wannabe Burn After Reading sub imaginable
....imagine caring about security but you post on r*ddit and use dating apps. Neither of those things are secure lmao (neither is Hexbear but I figure dorks on here know that).
These spies are definitely gonna seduce you James Bond style so they can... see your pivot tables with useless information
