Looks like my account was banned/restricted for the above interaction, have already sent the mods on world an email asking if they'd be willing to reverse that. Had an episode of psychosis a few months ago where I did say some offensive stuff, (understandably) got a 3 month ban on .lol for that, so could see my account having been flagged.
I uh, I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect people to check others profiles to ensure we are correctly pronouning them… when making a throw away comment that is less than 10 words involving a ludicrously common saying. Jerboa does not show users pronouns. I could switch to an app that DOES show the pronouns, do any Lemmings have a recommendation for a free Lemmy mobile app that has that feature?
Edit: Edie chimed in, Jerboa does show pronouns. It's a formatting issue with mobile vs browser (She has them on individual text lines so they don't appear on mobile).
Was just going to respond to the user in question to let them know I wasn't purposefully trying to offend that individual, to discover I'm not able to post or make comments on world now, so figured I'd see what y'alls opinion on the matter is.
Just stop using gender specific pronouns at all. Makes things much simpler
This is what I try to do. This has been made slightly more difficult after “they” became a pronoun in its own right. I’ve only had one person get upset by my using “they” before knowing their preferred pronouns though, and when my intent was clarified it was fine. But like damn what other default pronoun exists? I guess this is what getting old feels like, it’s not like Iwant to be a boomer about this.
Usually when I make a mistake while trying to act in good faith, I apologize. Posting about the interaction without apology and flashing names of non-mods involved is not the way to correct your mistake, nor to garner sympathy.
I did apologize to the mod I emailed. Not looking for sympathy, frankly I was more interested from a technical perspective as to why her pronouns aren't showing on Jerboa, but they were on the browser.
Generally I wouldn't take that kind of thing too seriously from hexbears they love conflict and actively seek it out
I lurk quite a bit, rarely comment or post. Have seen a lot of complaints about the Hexbearers, didn't think they were too bad (well there are accounts on there that do seem to like to push Russian/Chinese talking points frequently + consistently). However overall the community provides some high quality content/insight.
I'm sure 80% of them are lovely people, but the minority are so damn loud and travel in packs
No, if they want to be gendered appropriately, they should have it in their username.
I don’t think it’s necessary to check every profile for potential pitfalls when interacting with them. But honestly, in this case there is an obvious transgender flag in the profile name that should make you at least question your first assumption.
What percentage of the populace do you think knows what the transgender flag looks like? :|
Noo, it is an honest question. I'm a digital native, been to a decent amount of gay bars, even worked as security for pride in my city this year. Have probably seen the flag, have never had it come up that "yep this is the flag for the trans community". Outside of Hamburgerland where transgenderism has become so politicized, huge press X to doubt people know what that flag is. Most folks on the planet are Indian, Chinese, or in an Islamic country of some sort. Now do tell, dear blakeus12. How do all of those cultures treat LGBTQ+ people :| if it was a question of how many people in the US recognized the flag, different story.
What do your racist ideas of a homogenous global south with no queers have to do with this. Literally why say this.
You said it yourself in this comment. There aren't queers there. Well, there are. They just aren't treated very well if they're open about it, to my knowledge. Logically, if a culture is "not there", or in this context, being legally and culturally suppressed, I doubt there is going to be much awareness about things like which letters in LGBTQ+ corresponds to which flag. Id be happy to read something that you think would be enlightening on the subject.
Shut the fuck up cracker, there's no "reading" which can cover such vastly different regions of the world with their own queer histories. By bringing up your orientalist ideas of the global south you're only proving your own stupidity. You clearly exist in a context in which the trans flag is common and a clear indicator to pay special regards to that user's pronouns, and instead of just apologizing and moving on you're making a mockery of yourself by trying to use your own racism to disguise your transphobia.
I generally just use gender neutral language. I would check the person's bio before using a phrase like that tho, especially if they have a trans flag emoji in their name
That being said, getting banned/restricted for that comment alone seems a bit extreme to me tho
It's reasonable, especially if they got a trans flag in their name. But even if not, it's one click and a swipe back.
If somebody corrects you about gender, just say woops, correct yourself, and move on. It's an honest mistake, a simple fix, and nobody should be offended. Especially online. If they are still offended, it's because they want to be.
What app do you use? Last I checked, pronouns are part of display names for Hexbear users. You shouldn’t have to check profiles. That’s the whole point of them being included in display names. Your app would ideally just respect display names and it would require no extra effort on your part to gender people correctly.
Jerboa, made an edit on the post asking for a free Lemmy mobile recommendation that has the feature.
Using a client that shows the pronouns in hexbear is good and it sounds like you are doing that now.
As a follow up, I recommend approaching gender just as one would if they were bring mindful with new people. If you don't know pronouns, using they/them is a fine way to start referring to someone neutrally. You can also just use their name. It is considerate to then figure out what they prefer in a non-awkward way, either by how others talk or by just asking them nicely. Having pronouns displayed by names is just helpful for clarity and speeding things up online.
Just be more careful with gendered language. Also, the trans flag was right there
I did not know that was the trans flag. Appreciate ya letting me know >_<
“The them, the myth… the X”. Forsure, that does seem more meme anyways.
What did you think it was... the flag of Cista Roca?
I am tickled by this and fully support your TIL process.
There are a lotta flags out there. Like dog, most Americans in NYC ouldn't even point to Iraq on a map, many even pointing to the US when asked where Iraq was.. As we were actively invading them post 9/11.
Id bet 100$ if there was a test of the general populace on knowing what that flag was, the pass rate would be below 5%.
As soon as I realized that it was similar to the Costa Rican flag but with 1 inversion, and switching the vowels of the latter out yielded "Cis", I had to make the pun.
Happy to help, and don't feel down for the restriction, in today's hellworld where people's identities are constantly and violently challenged it's hard to not be jumpy when something doesn't seem right
Maybe a stupid question, but how do I tell from the flag whether that's a trans fem or trans masc?
If it's an ambiguous name you might have to check. Fortunately, Edie is an unambiguously female name, and the clear majority of binary trans people pick clearly gender-coded names.
Fortunately, Edie is an unambiguously female name,
Is it? My first glance would assume it's some variant spelling of Eddie. Never run into anyone called Edie.
I suppose it's unambiguous to you, but I had never heard of the name before
It's an unambiguos female name in english maybe. OP might be from an english-speaking country, but you really can't make this sort of assumption on a global website
There are no stupid questions, but the one you should ask yourself is "should i try to use gender neutrale language and/or check their bio or should i not care and risk hurting someone?"
If you care about not hurting people, you'll find the right answer, and if an honest mistake happens, own it and people will generally be understandable. It's really not that different from common courtesy, it just isn't the norm yet
I personally prefer to stick to gender neutral language in general. Maybe it's my autism, but a lot of the time profiles don't help me much unless there are preferences are listed explicitly
I too stick to gender neutral language in general, it just feels better to do so when i don't know who is "in front" of me. When profiles don't help I think it's best to not assume anything and just speak neutrally
You don't but you'll know that it probably matter that you get it right
I personally try to avoid gendered language, but if I do use it, I tend to check their profile-bio :)
Tbh honest when online gender is just a myth everyone is just a typing bot no one is actually whatever gender they think they are and stupidly everyone who judged you on those comments is either didn't know the whole point of the Fediverse or has forgotten, because one of the main reasons that founds the whole existence of this place is anonymity from companies earning money selling our data, the fediverse is an escape from the company greed therefore there's no he or she we're all equals here and it's valid to say " the man, the legend.. as it is to say way to go sis.. " as we're all just free anonymous accounts as should be and we need to delete the gender concept maybe starting with using gender neutral terms online until everyone's comfortable with the idea because to be banned or have your account deleted for misgendering another user is just crazy and defeats the whole fediverse concept.
This is an absolutely garbage take. "Anonymous" defaults to male in everyone's mind because patriarchy is the basis of our society. Claiming everyone should just be "Anonymous" is a male supremacist and exclusionary of everything else position to take.
Whoa there those are big words for an UFO sighting are you a conspiracy theorist or something? Lmao
So you basically threw away everything that I said and fixated on the only word you don't understand to attack with the only implanted knowledge you have that sits next to it in your brain folder lol
Your argument is for the people of the rainbow, my argument is for everyone all the same as I said before if you don't mind sharing all about yourself to everyone else then why would you mind the greedy corporations helping you out when selling your data it's all the same they be sharing the same data as you want to force share with everyone but just not sharing any profit with you because you too want your data to be shared anyway, on the other hand there are people who simply don't care wether you're a he, she or even it as long as you have your personal thoughts and interests that's all that matters and everyone is all the same online for us gender isn't all that makes up a person and therefore it isn't a big deal to innocently perfectly quote an old meme to someone from the different gender and get insulted and banned then because you didn't change the quote to fit their gender.
this is Lemmy after all not Reddit, why come here if you don't want privacy I started to have this thought that you're just on all social platforms to spread knowledge about your identity, pronouns and the gay people existence and only that, no matter where you are it's all the same for you "I only want everyone know that I'm not a he/him I'm a she/her I absolutely want nothing more from this place other than that " to be honest I wouldn't judge any instance owner to start helping you further spread knowledge about the rainbow people and make personal profit out of it by selling all of your data since you not just don't mind but also want everyone to acknowledge it, again this is not Reddit this is Lemmy, the first people who built this concept didn't think of making it just a social platform like all they made it a safe place away from personal greed where everyone is free to keep their privacy to their own with all the rights to be anonymous, you guys just came here and started forcing rules around forgetting the first concept build of this place, some instances 'added' the ability to have pronouns as a 'feature' not all instances have it or are able to see it so just don't forget this fact. And I have no problem acknowledging your existence I just have a problem with you forcing your "obvious pronouns so don't misgender me" rules forgetting the main reason that had this place to exist in the first place.
If you think I would read this shit after that first sentence you're a fucking idiot
You did the right thing. It's a lot of bullshit about "oh, you list your pronouns? You must be fine with corporations selling your data" and then at the end there seems to be a bit of "hexbear showed up late to the fediverse party and is ruining everything", which is, of course, pretty much directly opposite of the truth.
Hexbear existed 2 years before everything else? Fucking wild. This loser's account is literally 3 years younger than my hexbear account and 2.5 years younger than my Lemmy.ml one and he thinks we're the late ones?
The only "ruining" I'm doing here is ruining his bullshit fuckoff attempt to associate lgbt and gender with being a corporate thing, it's fucking nonsensical. Dude deserves to lose teeth.
As I've said else where in the thread, Hexbear has some high quality contributors, I'm glad y'all decided to federate.
Should I rearrange them paragraphs for you, would you love it more when you're being tricked into it? X'D
