Hiya! Your friendly neighborhood corgi checking in on you again! Been a while since we've had one of these. Figured with the election and all, might as well, plus I don't have any work yet today so fuck it, check on my friends!
For the new folks, welcome! I do these from time to time just to give people a space to vent and unwind, or tell us abotu anything exciting you've got going on.
For my own part, band stuff is coming along nicely! Did a gig with a friends band last Friday that went well, our second show with a 2nd guitarist. Writing and recording, new tracks should be out by the spring. Also posted a video of the show here a few days ago. Beyond that, work has been....eh. Still looking for a full time thing, its been 14 months now. AI training has me on a few new projects, but the work is coming in slow. Had to split rent into 2 payments this month and I was able to get the first sent out, but still worried about settling up the rest next week.
Beyond that, not much else going on. One year with no booze this month, so fuck yeah for that.
Hope you're well, and remember you are loved 
I tried explaining to my lib friends why it doesn't matter who sits in the captain's chair of the evil empire and they got mad at me and I have rejection sensitivity so it hurts a lot
I'm sure its not as bad as it feels! How long has it been since you talked to anyone from that crowd?
It indeed is not as bad as it feels. I'm feeling better now but it hurt for like a whole day and I was ruminating about it lol. I hate rejection sensitivity so much. It wasn't like we had an actual fight, I just said my piece and I got frustrated feeling like I was being ignored by the group whenever I tried to explain stuff like that. To which I got: "Well, respectfully, I think you're wrong, and being kind of rude about it too" which hit me like a truck and made me cry. A lot.
This is why I don't post
Also, this is my main friend group so we're talking every day and I said sorry (even though I was right!!!) and now we're back to memes and jokes again.
Glad things are back to normal! I sweat stuff like that too, and it stays with me.
a sister of mine died recently and a lot of my sisters r one foot in the grave. i feel like i cant really help them either. im scared im going to need to go on DIY E soon and im scared of needles. its feels so bleak out here, maybe im just a weak little lib tho.
Kind of depressed lately, but not because of the election. I'm frankly just glad that shit show is over.
I'm at work and I'm an eepy princess, fortunately I can take a nappy.
Unfortunately that's not the arrangement, I only get paid for doing the thing. But fortunately I work for myself and set my own hours.
I just went to trader joes, my first venture into the public since the orange fascist won. I just felt incredibly sad, in my head about how all of our lives are going to get worse and we will continue to go through collectice trauma. Not that dems would have stopped it of course, but now there is a finality to how shitty things are going to become very soon. I honestly felt like crying as i was checking out...its very odd and i didnt expect to feel such emotion but its been a heavy 48 hours
We all knew electoralism wouldnt save us.
We all knew the fascists were here.
Now is the time to organize. Well, years ago really, but, now is better than later.
Nothing really changed; the stakes just went up, and a few more masks came off. You still need to organize.
Pass out sandwiches and make the world better. Be the fucking vanguard and set an example. Or do some illegal surrealist street theater/performative crime to nurture the imagination.
Now is the time to act. It will be easier. I promise you can do this. You just need to start, even if you feel silly at first. Use this fracture in normalcy to act.
Call me a liberal, and I'm hoping to have liberalism snapped out of me, but I am certainly disappointed about the election results.
Mostly for revolutionary reasons because there is no way in hell a generation of "Yeah, I'm fash because it owns the libs" is are not going to be a bunch of lost causes. It's also a reminder of some personal griefs, that I am very unlikely to make friends with other men because I am that distant from what they want. I feel like an outlier among Gen Z, a generation of trolls.
Yeah, kind of liberal cringiness but I need to get that off my chest, if there's any way I can be reminded that this is full of shit I'd love to hear it.
I wouldn't call that liberalism, comrade
I'm older, so can't speak from a GenZ perspective, but you'll find your people. That does require going out and looking, but hell - I've met a decent number of Hexbears IRL and am doing food distro with one this weekend. People like you are out there!
I went in without hope for the election and I am actually upset that the Republicans look like they'll hold all three branches of government fully. That's not something I had considered since I'm used to some kind of division inside congress. They can do real freak shit with the whole of the Federal government if they can all get in line. Moderately big if since there are factional divides in the party but still there are valid things to be worried about if in the grand scheme of things the empire will continue on unimpeded.
Anyway, the material conditions drive the world and they will mold and influence you as well. It's important to build and structure your life in a way that can support your how you want to grow. Basically try to join an organization even if it's a glorified book club and you might meet good people and restore some of your faith in humanity and also deprogram your liberalism.
Flu induced fatigue hasn't gone away. Might just be one of those fun fibromyalgia moments of a new symptom to get used to.
A good 12 hours sleep last night and I feel like I pulled an all nighter.
Tram museum trip tomorrow though so that's fun
Congrats on your booze sobriety! I'm about to take a month off from drinking. I did it last year and really liked the change of pace, so I'll be doing it again from after Thanksgiving to Christmas.
Speaking of abstention, I'm on my first thc break after four years of daily usage (a day off here and there). The first few days were unpleasant (headaches, irritable, loss of appetite, bad sleep), but that is subsiding. I'm enjoying the clarity. I can speak more succinctly and clearly. I'm less impulsive and have more patience. I guess the biggest surprise is I don't miss it at much as I thought I would now that I'm a week off. I missed it a lot the first few days.
Otherwise, I've been struggling to get back into a workout routine (MWF) but haven't given up entirely.
so I'll be doing it again from after Thanksgiving to Christmas.
holy shit why are you so wise i should try this, this is way better than the sadistic puritan op of Dry January
Fr, January is a shit month, you bet you're ass I'll be drinking. What the fuck else is there to do? It's freezing!
i have BEEN SAYING. your strat is way better because it's bookended on either side by Fun (assuming u enjoy the holidays that is)
politically i feel fucking high, like, this is the type of week that reminds me why i follow politics (in a jokerfied way). i'm not inside the great satan so really this only affects me through watching libs become disillusioned on the internet. the despair in me says that somehow none of these will stick and nobody's getting radicalized, but the meltdown is fun at least. plus, usamerican will be be more likely to give a shit about the world for a few years and trump's admin might get us closer to peace in ukraine (which is a lot more relevant to my area lol)
but on the personal side of things, i continue to be fucking useless. this job won't hold out for another year and i'm desperately trying to apply to PhDs to actually do some good in the world, but my god i'm awful without a clear, set deadline, which these don't have. i've always done everything the night before it was due and now i'm looking at blank pages and just... not filling them. for night after night i do NOTHING. i don't even play video games or sew or do the things i actually enjoy, i just have to sit around despairing that i'm not doing what i need to and want to. people have been telling me to get adhd tested for a literal decade, and this is the first time i kind of regret not listening (a guy at work says he knows someone who could sell me some adderal, but thats Very Illegal here and also idk....). personally i don't think i'm adhd, i'm pretty sure i'm just a lazy bastard who's never had to try academically, but still, any advantage might be nice 🙃
plus, i've now learnt that doing anything (like getting into a phd) when you have a dayjob SUCKS. my job is a scam tbh but even so, my noctural ass is having mad trouble staying up past midnight, and turning to energy drinks to fix it seems like its me immune to energy drinks. it just feel like theres infinitely less time in the day
thanks for giving us somewhere to say this sort of shit and reminding us to take a minute to contemplate, comrade corgi
I'm pretty sure dysphoria is causing depression for me. It's hell and I don't know how to get out. It feels hopeless.
Broke my clean streak yesterday too.
Also I've just been throughly angry recently. Pissed off about everything. Bitter.
Don't beat yourself up about breaking the streak, it's all part of the process. Maybe the anger is related to the dysphoria? Do you have anyone offline you'd be able to talk to about it?
I'm not beating myself up about it right now, I'm worried this behavior is going to continue and get worse. Probably, it causes a lot of things. No, no one offline. I'm not sure what I can do.
Bad... Can barely focus on anything or identify how am feeling.
spoiler
I don't like needles but I feel like I have to start DIY testosterone soon so I'm in this place of wanting to start the T but also kind of not because of needles.
Hope youre able to get something worked out, godspeed on your journey comrade
Doing alright. Went to a rally in my city last night but it was low attended and low energy besides the speakers that are already in the local activist layer. It’s gonna take a lot more work to get people organized. I think people are just over politics at this point.
The two year election cycle and it's consequences.
At least you got out there! Any representation from leftist orgs like PSL or anyone?
It’s Friday and I’ve had a Monday to Friday for a few months now 🎉 will try to get drunk but not drunk enough to get in the dawg house with my partner after work (congrats on being sober op)
Hell yeah enjoy! Have a drink for me!
Idk that I'd use the word sober, but I at least haven't touched alcohol in a year. California sober, as the kids call it. But thanks! Appreciate the kind words!
Sleeping well and getting back into running. Trying to ignore a lot of leftist posts to get involved in stuff. I am involved, just trying to lay low for a week and recover. Oh, and the album I contributed to was officially released on Bandcamp last week. Been riding that high.
Hell yeah sounds sick! How's the album reception been? What did you play on it? If you wanna swap band links, hit me up! Or just go through my post history, I posted video of our most recent live set there.
I'm flattered. I'll send a link your way. I just strummed my banjo and sang. It's not picking up steam yet, but we're kinda waiting till it clears on streaming sites to start advertising ourselves. This is my first actual contribution to an album. Before that I just sat in jam circles or did some FAWM stuff.
Thank u
