• infuziSporg [e/em/eir]
    ·
    13 hours ago

    If you ask them if they're a vampire, they have to tell you.

    If they're a cop, you can repel them with brightness resembling daylight.

  • Zuzak [fae/faer, she/her]
    ·
    13 hours ago

    REPOST THIS TO STOP VAMPIRE COPS FROM ENTERING YOUR HOME!!!

    I HEREBY DECLARE THAT I AM THE SOLE OWNER AND PROPETIER OF MY PLACE OF RESIDENCE (HEREAFTER: HOME). I DO NOT RECOGNIZE ANY LEGAL DOCUMENT DISPUTING THE OWNERSHIP OF MY HOME OR ANY CLAIMS OF ANY GOVERNMENT OR LANDLORD ALLOWING ANYONE PERMISSION TO ENTER MY HOME. I AM OFFICIALLY DECLARING THAT MY HOME IS A SOVERIGN, INDEPENDENT NATION STATE WITH MYSELF AS THE SOLE LEGAL AUTHORITY, UNBOUND BY ANY OTHER CLAIMS OF AUTHORITY OR OWNERSHIP. FAILURE TO CONTEST THIS CLAIM BY ANY NATIONAL, INTERNATIONAL, OR NON-GOVERNMENT ENTITY WILL BE CONSIDERED OFFICIAL RECOGNITION OF MY HOME AS AN INDEPENDENT STATE.

    IF YOU DO NOT REPOST THIS, VAMPIRE COPS WILL COME INTO YOUR HOME AND DRINK YOUR BLOOD!!! STAY SAFE!!!

  • Bureaucrat [pup/pup's, null/void]
    ·
    edit-2
    16 hours ago

    Not unless you made the warrant. They are legally allowed to, but that's not what is keeping them outside.
    If you've got a doormat that says "welcome" you're fucked though

  • Thordros [he/him, comrade/them]
    ·
    23 hours ago

    Vampires do not heed the laws of humanity. Their ability to enter your home is solely based around your consent—or more specifically in this case, what your core beliefs are.

    If you are a bootlicker who thinks cops are cool and good, yes, that will allow the vampire cop to enter your home. If you believe that the warrant grants them permission to enter your home, then they can.

    If you are a comrade who knows that the police state is an oppressive tool of capital that must be resisted at every opportunity, a vampire cop may not enter—warrant or not. That warrant means nothing to you, so you implicitly do not give your consent.

  • FourteenEyes [he/him]
    ·
    1 day ago

    It's not actually vampires who need an invitation, it's autistic people (we will never know you want us there otherwise)

    • Enjoyer_of_Games [he/him]
      ·
      1 day ago

      DON'T use closed questions

      "do you have a warrant?"

      DO use vampire inclusive language

      "come back with a warrant!"

  • the_post_of_tom_joad [any, any]
    ·
    24 hours ago

    I spent a good 10 minutes failing to come up with a cop vampire pun but I'm tired and loopy so I'll answer it straight.

    Cop is a known vampire? --> laws for warrants include wording giving temporary transfer of ownership to judge.

    Cop is secret vampire --> they gotta fool you with a giant check from publishers clearinghouse