• blight [he/him]
    hexagon
    ·
    13 days ago

    i just feel like people generally dislike being subjected to violence and pain so i’m curious what makes this the exception

    • fox [comrade/them]
      ·
      13 days ago

      BDSM isn't entirely about pain or violence. That's the sadism and masochism part, wherein someone derives pleasure from causing pain or receiving pain, typically not specifically for the pain but the psychological element of being in a position of power or submission to someone else. The physical sensation is frequently secondary, but can be a source of additional stimulus. If you've ever gotten runner's high or felt a rush after getting a tattoo, it's sort of like that. Your body supplies endorphins after pain or exertion, and if you're already in a state of heightened sexual stimulation the pain drives you even higher and you don't really feel it, especially if your mind is preoccupied in a submissive state. If you're the dominant partner then you're probably not getting off from hurting someone, you're getting off from asserting your will onto them and seeing them get off to it.

      Most BDSM inflictions of pain aren't shit like knife play or burning or strangling or anything that would even leave a mark. Depictions of BDSM in pornography are no more real than anything else in porn and are often taken to a greater extreme than anything real practitioners go for.

      Sex specifically with the intent of causing pain is not what BDSM is.

      • Verenata
        ·
        13 days ago

        Most BDSM inflictions of pain aren't shit like knife play or burning or strangling or anything that would even leave a mark.

        Lmao I want to try knife play but my bf has a hard no on that catgirl-hiss

      • viva_la_juche [they/them, any]
        ·
        13 days ago

        or felt a rush after getting a tattoo

        Idk if it’s weird but I always enjoy the first like hour of getting a tattoo but after awhile my tolerance drops and it starts to like genuinely hurt hurt

        • fox [comrade/them]
          ·
          13 days ago

          I had a 3 hour session once where I wasn't really bothered for the first 2.5 hours, then it hurt real bad, and then I had to crash for half an hour at the studio to get the shakes out from the adrenaline / dopamine rush. Ate a granola bar and hit the road and took a nap when I got home.

      • blight [he/him]
        hexagon
        ·
        13 days ago

        Thanks for the detailed answer. My question was indeed prompted by seeing yet another porn scene ruined by strangulation.

        • AOCapitulator [they/them, she/her]
          ·
          edit-2
          13 days ago

          Having pressure applied to your blood vessels in your neck can induce a light headed feeling of euphoria, and is also a great experience of trust between the people in the act

          Or so I've been told

          • Verenata
            ·
            13 days ago

            It is!! Like people thinking choking is stopping the wind and it's like no it's putting the right amount of pressure where you said to make you feel all wooooOooOoooo.

            • blight [he/him]
              hexagon
              ·
              13 days ago

              stopping air or blood, the end result is depriving the brain of oxygen which seems uh, decidedly not good

              i can understand superficial skin damage, but the brain is way more fragile

              • Verenata
                ·
                13 days ago

                It's not stopping anything and "depriving" is a bit of a dramatic way of putting it. Like it doesn't come anywhere close to what I think you might be thinking it does.

    • lilypad [she/her, null/void]
      ·
      13 days ago

      So like im a subby gal who enjoys a good flogging. I dont know what scientifically happens, but at a certain point i am just laughing and screaming and need to be tied down because otherwise ill get too squirmy to hit safely or worse lash out at my Domme. Beyond the laughter is the blissed out not-really-present part which i just love but seldom enter.

      Its really fun, and yeah the pain is an integral part of that, without it i dont laugh, or feel euphoric joy. Afterwards i may find pride in how much or how little i took. It makes me feel very close to my partner, and it tickles my sensory organs (sometimes literally), and it just overall is very very fun. Coupled with orgasm its even better. Hopefully thats helpful to you ^^

    • bubbalu [they/them]
      ·
      13 days ago

      It's like a rollercoaster or spicy food. It's exhilarating and freeing. It's a chance to break serious taboos in a safe, controlled way. For me, it's a way to let go of trauma by removing the fear of certain memories.

    • CrawlMarks [he/him]
      ·
      13 days ago

      People generally always like violence. Look at contact sports, movies, and video games. It activates a similar part of the primal brain and sex. So sometimes you cna do both at once for an extra thrill

      • blight [he/him]
        hexagon
        ·
        13 days ago

        people like looking at, or maybe inflicting damage, but not taking damage

        • CrawlMarks [he/him]
          ·
          13 days ago

          Some do. It can be about the thrill of overcoming your limits. Or simply enjoying the little adrenaline space from a little spank. Or a hundred other things that could be idiosyncratic. Look at people talking about enjoying the pain of a good work out