Oh, you think it's funny that I turn red and have palpitations when I eat spicy food? You think that just because I'm white my pain and suffering doesn't matter? That eating spicy food hurts my delicate little tongue and far more delicate little asshole? I might get dehydrated from sweating too much, that's dangerous you know. You get a real good laugh when you order habanero salsa for the table, and then when I try to say I don't want any all my poc friends start chanting "SALTINE BOY SALTINE BOY SALTINE BOY" until I load up a chip and begin a 3-4 hour medical ordeal that only ends when I shit my pants while running to the bathroom? Is this a joke to you? I already put black pepper on the table. Any more flavor out here and I might literally have a heart attack, and science proves it. I just want to be able to fully appreciate the ingredients of my dish, whole boiled potatoes and salted meat. If that makes me a SALTINE BOY then so be it. I will not eat the peppers, and I will not get into the pod.

If you all keep teasing me I'm going to join lemm.ee and give you an aneurysm with my liberalism.

  • eight [it/its]
    ·
    1 year ago

    “The food of the true revolutionary is the red pepper, and he who cannot endure red peppers is also unable to fight.” -Mao Zedong

    Sorry, I don't make the rules, lib.

  • Dagwood222@lemm.ee
    ·
    1 year ago

    Apparently there are two kinds of white people in America.

    Those who consider oregano a wildly exotic spice, and those who buy gallon jugs of a sauce that doubles as aligator poison.

    • regul [any]
      ·
      1 year ago

      It me. Alligator poison boy.

    • CliffordBigRedDog [he/him]
      ·
      1 year ago

      The only thing whiter than not being to take spice is pepper spraying your mouth and calling it flavour

    • Egon
      ·
      edit-2
      2 months ago

      deleted by creator

  • Tastysnack
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    deleted by creator

    • Egon
      ·
      edit-2
      2 months ago

      deleted by creator

      • Tastysnack
        ·
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        deleted by creator

        • Egon
          ·
          edit-2
          2 months ago

          deleted by creator

          • Tastysnack
            ·
            edit-2
            1 year ago

            deleted by creator

            • Egon
              ·
              edit-2
              2 months ago

              deleted by creator

              • Tastysnack
                ·
                edit-2
                1 year ago

                deleted by creator

            • DanComrd [comrade/them]
              ·
              1 year ago

              Crumpets = Absolutely amazing Marmite = rat poison (jk) Combining both wouldnt have been my first thought, but I'll try it. bean-think

              • Tastysnack
                ·
                edit-2
                1 year ago

                deleted by creator

  • AlicePraxis
    ·
    edit-2
    3 months ago

    deleted by creator

    • NephewAlphaBravo [he/him]
      ·
      1 year ago

      I love spicy food and I still get a runny nose from spice levels below what I can even detect anymore

      My nose knows stuff is spicy before I do

  • Zezzy [she/her]
    ·
    1 year ago

    Gonna pour one out for all my serranos and jalapeños in my former garden. Only got to eat one serrano angery The part of the garden with peppers didn't fully burn, but they were all well roasted, soft, and in the unsafe temperature zone for days

  • GenderIsOpSec [she/her]
    ·
    1 year ago

    im white enough to reflect light yet i never have a problem with spicy foods messing up my stomach, or any foods really.

    just built to be a carbage disposal trash mammal ig gigachad

  • vertexarray [any]
    ·
    1 year ago

    shoutout to balduk instant noodles for expanding my spicy horizons

      • eXAt [he/him]
        ·
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        Last time I was at the grocery store they only had the 2x spicy ones, guess this confirms I was right to pass on them that time.

        • FlakesBongler [they/them]
          ·
          1 year ago

          I can handle a decent level of spicy chili, but those made my mouth go completely numb

  • Smeagolicious [they/them]
    ·
    1 year ago

    I want to eat my old favorite spicy noodles but they all include fuckin beef or pork in the sauce/stock. Hardest thing about trying to eat more ethically was not dropping meat, but all the foods that have secret hidden meat/animal products for no damn reason.

    Anyway I get symptoms 1 & 2, but never experienced the severe distress cracker-Americans won’t shut up about. Can we also talk about that? How mfs wanna interject and expound at length about their burning asshole whenever you mention Indian, SE Asian, Latin American etc. cuisine.

  • culpritus [any]
    ·
    1 year ago

    It's about the journey, not the destination.

    I'm pretty lmayo, but I still think it's worth it. Serranos are one of my preferred peppers. Nice medium heat with tons of flavor.

    • GrouchyGrouse [he/him]
      ·
      1 year ago

      Serranos are wonderful. The next time you are cooking over an open flame throw some on. You won't regret it!

  • ZoomeristLeninist [comrade/them, she/her]M
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    is there a reason i only get the first two? like ive never had stomach/digestion problems or a burning asshole from eating spicy food, and i eat spicy food all the time

    • Huldra [they/them, it/its]
      ·
      1 year ago

      I have to wonder if like the stomach issues stuff is more fast food trouble than spicy food trouble, because I've never noticed stomach troubles either and I either get spicy stuff homemade or get it from places at least 1 tier above fast food chains.

      Feels like either that, people getting comically hot peppers as a dumb joke on themselves, or just like some people genuinely have the wrong stomach genes for it.

      • ped_xing [he/him]
        ·
        1 year ago

        I was once a ridiculously spicy person, massively overdid it once and am now just a spicy person. Spice-induced gastritis is real. I eat all sorts of crap, but only the red sauce from the kati rolls place is going to make me swell up and hurt the next day. Avoid spicy challenges unless you know exactly what you're getting into -- ideally by going with friends and splitting the fissile material.

      • StalinwasaGryffindor [he/him, comrade/them]
        ·
        1 year ago

        I strongly agree with this, and think it has something to do with spiced oils specifically. I can eat fresh peppers and cooked peppers when they’re made at home and I’ll be a mess while eating with watery eyes and a runny nose, but that will be it. If I eat spicy fast food or spicy processed snacks it will be a bad 24 hours

        I know the human body digests material at differing rates depending on what it is. Proteins are primarily digested in the stomach, starches are digested in the mouth and small intestine, and lipids are digested in the small intestine. So it makes sense to me that when the capsaicin has been emulsified it will pass through the stomach and then be felt in the intestines. (Disclaimer: it’s been a while since I had education on this topic, may be misremembered/outdated information)

        • Thordros [he/him, comrade/them]
          ·
          1 year ago

          I strongly agree with this, and think it has something to do with spiced oils specifically.

          Spiced oils are some diabolical shit. I don't know the science behind why, but I've made my own sauces and pastes at home, and the oil I make with the same ingredients is by far the hottest. I can't put more than a quarter teaspoon into a gallon of soup if I want my family to eat it.

          (naturally, its my favourite now)

    • Facky [he/him,comrade/them]
      ·
      1 year ago

      I never had the ring of fire until I got older, but spicy food does make me cough and sometimes hiccup.

    • ProfessorOwl_PhD [any]
      ·
      1 year ago

      It's probably because you eat spicy food all the time. If your body isn't used to spicy food (or is used to it but you eat something overwhelmingly spicy, like when the men were allowed to cook on one of the nights leading up to my Indian neighbours wedding) you'll get the digestive effects as your body tries to get rid of the cause of the pain signals. If you're regularly eating spicy food your body already knows the deal though, and won't try to reject it.